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How low can some people get....

edited August 2012 in Not Sports Related
NFR...

Some of you will remember me posting a year ago about my ex walking out on me and taking the baby!!

Well a year on and ive still not seen him.... its madness but we work in the same compa

Comments

  • Try Fathers for justice, they might be able to advise.
  • you not been court or anything?
  • Tried mediation.... tried solicitors... run out of money, cant get legal aid......
  • ah thats shit. Try fathers for justice then as above.
  • As a Dad, my heart goes out to you.

    But surely, above all else, what she has done is illegal?? If you are the childs father, you have a legal right to see them I thought?
  • its so complicated.... but i agree, question is where do i start!!! Im going to citizens advice next
  • Represent yourself?
  • edited August 2012
    As I understand it you have more "rights" if you are named on the birth certificate. Your matrimonial (or not) status could also play a part but I believe being named on the birth certificate is the most important thing re acquiring "rights." It can of course also mean that you also acquire responsibilities for maintenance.

    As a father and grandfather myself I feel for you in your situation.
  • Len is right, are you named on the birth certificate?

    feel for you mate, I'm seperated (getting divorced) but luckily when it comes to our little girl we put all our differences aside and have her an equal amount of time (7 nights each out of 14).

    Keep on trying as every kid needs their Dad, I can't begin to imagine not seeing my little one.
  • I have no advice but enormous sympathy. I really hope this works out well for yo.
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  • Go on directgov website there will be a free solicitors line that will point you in the right direction for this sort of thing.
  • yeah im named and yeah hes my son... and i pay csa on time every month.... just amazes me that as soon as she gets a sniff my circumstances change shes on the blower to them!!

    cheers all im going to look into this more and more.!!
  • Were you married ? If not, you won't have parental responsibility even if you're on the birth certificate ( unless things have changed since the 90s).

    You can apply for PR ( used to cost £300).
    I used Mackesys in New Cross but if you haven't the funds get in touch with CAB.

    Believe me I know how you feel.

    Best of luck
  • Legally she cannot stop you seeing your son unless there is evidence that you are either an unfit father or there is cause in which you may run off with the child, even if this is the case then there would be a supervised visitation, given you are named on the birth certificate, there is no reason for your ex missus to stop you from seeing your son, the long term damage she is causing is only going to effect her when your son asks questions. Keep diary note of conversations, when you tried to call and what her response was, keep receipts for everything, and if you are paying the CSA do not give her anymore money even if she does try to pull on your heart strings. Stick to your guns and insist you want to see your son a regular basis during the week as well as at weekends.
  • How any woman can do this today amazes me. Has she no heart at all?
  • Were you married ? If not, you won't have parental responsibility even if you're on the birth certificate ( unless things have changed since the 90s).

    You can apply for PR ( used to cost £300).
    I used Mackesys in New Cross but if you haven't the funds get in touch with CAB.

    Believe me I know how you feel.

    Best of luck

    £300? I've got a signed Chris Powell "Lets Kick Racism Out of Football" t-shirt (one of the ones they warmed up in back when we were back in Big League I'd auction off to help.

    Doubt it's worth that much but it's for a good cause and all.
  • If you are named on the birth certificate as the father then you 100% have equal rights. New law was passed early 2000s.

    Split up with my ex and we have a little girl, fortunately everything here is good, sort of anyway. Luckily I know my rights and she's a bit silly in listening to her friends and thinks she can get away with stuff that she can't. Doesn't take long to put her in her place.

    Good luck fella, hope it all works out for you!
  • Cheers all, I have 2 older boys from my first relationship and see them 5 days a week so cant be a bad dad....

    Ive kept a dairy of events and firmly believe she has done it for pure selfish reasons... after all, I just want all 3 boys to be borthers!!
  • I'm not sure why money should be an issue, or a need for solicitors. It cost me £200 to apply to my local court. Three months later I got the court date and got what I asked for. Fortnightly access, her having to bring them to me rather than me doing both legs, 2 weeks abroad every year. £200. I didnt have nor need a solicitor. Unless there is a specific reason why she won't allow access she won't have a leg to stand on.

    Good to keep a diary of events but don't be suprised if the judge has no interest in what has gone before, and is only interested in what will happen going forward. I wanted her to take my ex down a notch or two, and it was quite the opposite, but as long as you keep you cool, and do everything by the book you'll get access and the only thing you will pay is the £200.
  • Good Luck Webbo...I had no idea. And interestingly enough that is my cousin @cafcpolo who is giving you advice!

    Small world eh?!
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  • Sorry to hear that mate! my mate has had that same thing happen :( good luck to you
  • Jeremy Kyle?
  • I'm not sure why money should be an issue, or a need for solicitors. It cost me £200 to apply to my local court. Three months later I got the court date and got what I asked for. Fortnightly access, her having to bring them to me rather than me doing both legs, 2 weeks abroad every year. £200. I didnt have nor need a solicitor. Unless there is a specific reason why she won't allow access she won't have a leg to stand on.

    Good to keep a diary of events but don't be suprised if the judge has no interest in what has gone before, and is only interested in what will happen going forward. I wanted her to take my ex down a notch or two, and it was quite the opposite, but as long as you keep you cool, and do everything by the book you'll get access and the only thing you will pay is the £200.

    The thing is people don't always adhere to court orders (in these matters) and when they don't the courts rarely do anything about it. Although the power is there, there is a distinct lack of will when it comes to enforcement.

  • Dandavis... How's things mate???
  • Not knowing all your circumstances then I can't really comment, but I'd know if i was in the same position there would be no way the situation would have come to that...........I'd probably got arrested by knocking the b*****y door down & demanded to see my child but I think by now I would have had something sorted.
  • edited August 2012

    Not knowing all your circumstances then I can't really comment, but I'd know if i was in the same position there would be no way the situation would have come to that...........I'd probably got arrested by knocking the b*****y door down & demanded to see my child but I think by now I would have had something sorted.

    Helpful how ?!?!?

    Comments like this show you in a less than ideal light ....
  • If I could I would but the cleaver cow got there first and issued a injunction against me.... Based on arguments we had in the past... No violence as I'd never hit a woman!! Mind you it's finished now so I may go knocking!!
  • Webbja77 said:

    If I could I would but the cleaver cow got there first and issued a injunction against me.... Based on arguments we had in the past... No violence as I'd never hit a woman!! Mind you it's finished now so I may go knocking!!

    Not worth even joking about that mate

    Chin up dude
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