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When Did You Last Feel A Complete Prat?

I'm still reeling from the shame and embarrassment of my escapades yesterday at Boots Bluewater , where i brought home 3 cans for the price of 2 Lynx 'Ladies' deodorant for my 2 sons , it was even worse when i returned the said items last night for a refund , so c'mon spill the beans , make me feel i'm not the only nutjob who does stupid things .... When Did You Last Feel A Complete Prat?

Comments

  • Following through down the market a few weeks back!
  • I was wondering why my student loan hadn't come through last week, when I realised that I hadn't actually applied for it yet.
  • ....in shorts.....beige ones!
  • Could be worse. Much, much worse!!

    My trusting wife sent me to Tesco's to buy some towels. The kind which are used only once then disposed of. Imagine my surprise when i was presented with an array of choices in all different sizes, colours and some even had wings!

    Ok so having found the correct colour, size, and quantity, i proceed to the checkout and purchase. Job done or so i thought until my wife got home from work.

    The following as a similar transcript of what was said.

    Wife - 'Did you get the towels i asked for darling?'
    Me - 'Yes love, they're in the bag in the kitchen.'
    Wife - 'Are these the one's you bought?' (She is stood in front of me holding them)
    Me - 'Yes that's the ones you asked for.'
    Wife 'But these are made by TENA.'
    Me - 'Well, you said Green and in a pack of 20, so what difference does the brand make?'
    Wife - 'These are different towels love.' 'These are for women that are incontinent.'
    Me - 'Ohhhh.' (I laugh)
    Wife - You'll have to take them back and explain that you bought the wrong one's.'
    Me - Bump!!
  • I'm not in the habit of feeling prats, compete or otherwise.
  • Could be worse. Much, much worse!!

    My trusting wife sent me to Tesco's to buy some towels. The kind which are used only once then disposed of. Imagine my surprise when i was presented with an array of choices in all different sizes, colours and some even had wings!

    Ok so having found the correct colour, size, and quantity, i proceed to the checkout and purchase. Job done or so i thought until my wife got home from work.

    The following as a similar transcript of what was said.

    Wife - 'Did you get the towels i asked for darling?'
    Me - 'Yes love, they're in the bag in the kitchen.'
    Wife - 'Are these the one's you bought?' (She is stood in front of me holding them)
    Me - 'Yes that's the ones you asked for.'
    Wife 'But these are made by TENA.'
    Me - 'Well, you said Green and in a pack of 20, so what difference does the brand make?'
    Wife - 'These are different towels love.' 'These are for women that are incontinent.'
    Me - 'Ohhhh.' (I laugh)
    Wife - You'll have to take them back and explain that you bought the wrong one's.'
    Me - Bump!!

    I'm all for being a "new" man - but you;ve done your bit. i'm afraid I'd be saying "sorry love, but you can take them back" or are you THAT hen-pecked !!!
  • I told a friend her voice sounded a lot like her dads. She went mental.
    I meant it in a nice way...
    :(
  • I always remember an incident that happened to my 1st ex-wife . At the time she was a nurse and whilst out shopping during her lunch-break (in her uniform) she came accross a young man lying on the floor, obviously in distress. There were quite a few people around him, with one in particular trying to assist him. She gently pushed herself to the front and said that, as a fully qualified nurse, she coiuld help him so please all stand clear.

    Upon which a dear old lady said " they don't need your help, love - he's not ill, he's being arrested"

    with that the ex slunk away, feeling rather foolish...............
  • See an old mate out with his new girlfriend, shook his hand and said congratulations on expecting your first baby, to which his new bird said "Oh no, I'm not pregnant, just fat!" (word for word)

    I bought them both a drink, made me excuses and left.......
  • On the subject of women's sanitary things, my mum asked me to go to the corner shop when I was a kid and pick up some 'plugs'. I didn't know what she meant, so. Spent ten minutes trying to explain what they were to the shopkeeper. Turns out she meant tampons.... Stupid woman.
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  • edited October 2012
    Used to work in an office entirely staffed by women (apart from me). As usual they were talking about diets and food. They got onto broccolli: "ooh, I love broccolli, really good for you yada yada yada".
    "Don't like broccolli" I said, "it's just like eating a bush."

    True story. Took me a minute to realise what I'd said and why they were (almost literally) screaming with laughter.
  • edited October 2012
    Feeling a prat is my specialist subject.

    One incident that comes to mind is when my oldest daughter was a baby. I'd had my briefcase nicked (or, charitably, taken in error) so put my pens, calculator, sandwiches etc into a tescos carrier bag. In those days disposable nappies were nothing like they are now so we used Terry towelling nappies for her. My wife had been out for the day and the dirty nappies were in a Tescos carrier bag ready for washing the next day.

    I was running late for work, grabbed the carrier bag and just about arrived on time to the open plan office I was in with about 10 other people.

    I delved into my carrier bag and instead of a calculator pulled out a dirty nappy!

    Cue mirth and merriment and I'm still reminded of it periodically by some people 30 years on!
  • I was wondering why my student loan hadn't come through last week, when I realised that I hadn't actually applied for it yet.

    The future of the country is in safe hands.
  • BIG_ROB said:

    ....in shorts.....beige ones!

    Ha ha, brilliant! My mate did that in a pair of white ones on the beach at Lloret. One minute he's cocking his leg shouting out "Here, listen to this bastard". The next minute he's locked in the lav of some bar waiting for my other mates to return from the market with some new ones.
  • 1979, newly married, new house. Bought my first paintbrush and pot of paint. Took the paint back and explained ( in front of a shop full of builder and DIY types) that the paint had what appeared to be oil on the top. No joke since has got a laugh nearly as loud. Walked out, tripped over a matchstick and went home. Haven't picked up a paintbrush since.
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