I'm still reeling from the shame and embarrassment of my escapades yesterday at Boots Bluewater , where i brought home 3 cans for the price of 2 Lynx 'Ladies' deodorant for my 2 sons , it was even worse when i returned the said items last night for a refund , so c'mon spill the beans , make me feel i'm not the only nutjob who does stupid things .... When Did You Last Feel A Complete Prat?
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My trusting wife sent me to Tesco's to buy some towels. The kind which are used only once then disposed of. Imagine my surprise when i was presented with an array of choices in all different sizes, colours and some even had wings!
Ok so having found the correct colour, size, and quantity, i proceed to the checkout and purchase. Job done or so i thought until my wife got home from work.
The following as a similar transcript of what was said.
Wife - 'Did you get the towels i asked for darling?'
Me - 'Yes love, they're in the bag in the kitchen.'
Wife - 'Are these the one's you bought?' (She is stood in front of me holding them)
Me - 'Yes that's the ones you asked for.'
Wife 'But these are made by TENA.'
Me - 'Well, you said Green and in a pack of 20, so what difference does the brand make?'
Wife - 'These are different towels love.' 'These are for women that are incontinent.'
Me - 'Ohhhh.' (I laugh)
Wife - You'll have to take them back and explain that you bought the wrong one's.'
Me - Bump!!
I meant it in a nice way...
Upon which a dear old lady said " they don't need your help, love - he's not ill, he's being arrested"
with that the ex slunk away, feeling rather foolish...............
I bought them both a drink, made me excuses and left.......
"Don't like broccolli" I said, "it's just like eating a bush."
True story. Took me a minute to realise what I'd said and why they were (almost literally) screaming with laughter.
One incident that comes to mind is when my oldest daughter was a baby. I'd had my briefcase nicked (or, charitably, taken in error) so put my pens, calculator, sandwiches etc into a tescos carrier bag. In those days disposable nappies were nothing like they are now so we used Terry towelling nappies for her. My wife had been out for the day and the dirty nappies were in a Tescos carrier bag ready for washing the next day.
I was running late for work, grabbed the carrier bag and just about arrived on time to the open plan office I was in with about 10 other people.
I delved into my carrier bag and instead of a calculator pulled out a dirty nappy!
Cue mirth and merriment and I'm still reminded of it periodically by some people 30 years on!