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Our friends from South Bermondsey (bit of fun)

I'll start us off;

Q. What's the difference between a Millwall fan and a shopping trolley?
A. A shopping trolley has a mind of its own.
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Comments

  • redman
    redman Posts: 5,285
    What's the difference between a Millwall fan and a sperm
    There is one in several million chance of them ever becoming a normal human being
  • Q. What's the difference between a hedgehog and the New Den?
    A. With a hedgehog the pricks are on the outside.
  • CH4RLTON
    CH4RLTON Posts: 2,618
    A Millwall fan walks up to a vending machine chucks a quid in presses the button and a can of Pepi max falls out,
    He then sticks in another pound andpushes the next button this time a can of Fanta drops down,
    He puts a third pound coin into the slot and this times opts for Dr Pepper.

    @ off I'm winning here!'
  • Henry Irving
    Henry Irving Posts: 85,211
    How many Millwall fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

    The lightbulb wasn't changed, it was made up by the media and it wasn't real millwall fans anyway. And I heard the light bulb was asking for it anyway
  • Richard J
    Richard J Posts: 8,030

    How many Millwall fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

    The lightbulb wasn't changed, it was made up by the media and it wasn't real millwall fans anyway. And I heard the light bulb was asking for it anyway



    LOL excellent joke Henry

  • CAFCdamo
    CAFCdamo Posts: 1,692
    edited November 2012

    A Millwall supporting family were out shopping and ended up in a sports shop. Little Kevin suddenly puts on a Charlton shirt and says to his sister "Look, I'm a Charlton fan!" His sister slaps him across the face and orders him to show their mum.

    He wanders over to his mum and says Mum look, "I'm a Charlton fan" His mother also slaps him across the face and orders him to show his dad. He finds his dad and say's "Dad, I'm a Charlton fan" His dad looks at him and then he also slaps him across the face.

    On their way home in the car the family turn to him and say "Well we hope you've learned something today" To which little Kevin replies "Yeah, I've only been a Charlton fan for twenty minutes and I already hate you Millwall c*!?s"
  • South Bermondsey Benefits Office.

    Interviewer: 'How many O levels do you have?'
    Millwall Fan: '57'
    Interviewer: 'Are you avin a larf?'
    Millwall fan: ' You fuckin started it'
  • redman said:

    What's the difference between a Millwall fan and a sperm
    There is one in several million chance of them ever becoming a normal human being

    Like that one.
  • How do you know a level headed Millwall supporter?


    He dribbles out of both sides of his mouth.
  • iainment
    iainment Posts: 8,037

    How do you know a level headed Millwall supporter?


    He dribbles out of both sides of his mouth.

    Has a chip on both shoulders.

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  • Henry Irving
    Henry Irving Posts: 85,211
    Millwall supporter goes to a game at the New Den.

    We'll there is a first time for everything.

    --------------------

    Millwall supporter goes in a bakers shop.

    "White loaf or brown?" asks the shop assistant

    Spanner replies "It doesn't matter, I've got my bike outside

    ----------------------

    Two spanners in the pub talking about films

    Spanner 1 "I saw that Titanic last night, great film and when the ship sinks at the end"

    Spanner 2 "Thanks a lot for spoiling the story for me!"
  • bloodnut
    bloodnut Posts: 2,146
    edited November 2012
    light travels faster than sound,

    this is why some millwall fans seem bright until you hear them speak!
  • How many Millwall fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

    The lightbulb wasn't changed, it was made up by the media and it wasn't real millwall fans anyway. And I heard the light bulb was asking for it anyway

    Best joke so far, brilliant.
  • CAFCBourne
    CAFCBourne Posts: 3,790
    Really its not even funny
  • Q. What's the difference between a Millwall fan and a Walrus?

    A. One is an overweight, slimy disgusting lump of fat that foams at the mouth and stinks of fish, the other one is a Walrus.
  • cafcdave123
    cafcdave123 Posts: 11,491
    edited November 2014
    woman goes to the doctors

    "doctor, every saturday at three o'clock my fanny starts making the sound MMmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllwaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllll"

    doctor says

    "alot of c***s do that"
  • cafctom
    cafctom Posts: 11,364
    edited November 2014

    woman goes to the doctors

    "doctor, every saturday at three o'colck my fanny starts making the sound MMmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiilllllllllwaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllll"

    doctor says

    "alot of c***s do that"

    Actual laugh out loud moment there.
  • bloodnut
    bloodnut Posts: 2,146
    what does a millwall fan do after dumping his girlfriend,

    wipes his arse!
  • maybe_baby
    maybe_baby Posts: 2,609
    To us its known as walking, to millwall fans its a manicure.
  • bloodnut
    bloodnut Posts: 2,146
    why do millwall fans like big tits and a little arse,

    because they got big mouths and little dicks!
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  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,822
    On the back of a few wins, a Millwall fan got the last minute urge to go yesterday, so phoned National Rail Enquiries, "allo mate, our long does it take to get the train from Lunden to Wolverhampton", the operator said 'Just a minute', and before he knew it, the Spanner had said "Cheers pal" and hung up...

    Miiiiiiiiiii
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,822
    Millwall's mob were 100 strong and located a boozer where a 20-handed mob of opposition were plotted up. Harry the Frog gave out the orders "right, i'll stick a couple of smoke cannisters through the windows, when it clears, Gripper, your 50 cover the right exit, and Ramrod, your 50 cover the left exit".

    So Gripper and Ramrod trooped their boys off left and right, heard the windows go, waited a few minutes, and steamed their doors with a mighty Miiiiiiiii only to find an empty pub. Harry the Frog turned to a cowering barmaid "ow the f**k did they get away? we covered both the exits", to which the barmaid replied "but they left through the entrance".


    Miiiiiiiiiiiii
  • What's the difference between a dead cat in the road and a dead Millwall fan in the road?








    Skid marks before the cat
  • SE10
    SE10 Posts: 2,169
    Here about the Millwall who got nicked during the riots?

    Were found in a looted Argos 2 days later waiting for their reservation number to come up.
  • The Seven Dwarfs were marching through the forest one day when they fell in a deep, dark ravine. Snow White, who was following along, peered over the edge of the steep chasm and called out to the fallen dwarfs. From the depths of the dark hole a voice returned, "Millwall will average gates of over 11,000 this season"
    Snow White thought to herself, "Thank God... at least Dopey's survived!"

  • Q. What do you get if you put 32 Millwall fans in a room?
    A. A full set of teeth.
  • Q. What do you get if you put 32 Millwall fans in a room?
    A. A full set of teeth.

    This Haha
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,822
    edited September 2013
    Walking along Welling High St, i could see in the distance this fella in a Millwall shirt trying to cross the road. A mins later i'm up level with him, there's no let up in the traffic, and he's still standing there. Feeling sorry for him, i thought i'd help him out
    "sorry fella, there's a zebra crossing just round the corner"
    "really?" he replied, "well i hope its having more luck than i'm having"

    Miiiiiiiiiiiii.....