I must admit I was a tad surprised to read that nipple tattooing (or "tittoos", as they've been dubbed by the media) was a new craze sweeping Liverpool. The only time I'd ever heard of the trend was a few months ago when a friend of mine who had recently had her breasts augmented decided to get nipples to match (I'm assured by her husband that they're very aesthetically pleasing). Despite this lone example, it's being implied that every woman in Liverpool is queuing up to get their hands on some HD nipples. As a Scouse blogger, I consider myself to be pretty au fait with what's going down in my town but reports of this particular grooming trend have left me scratching my head.
I can only assume there's been some body part confusion somewhere. You could say that eyebrows are the nipples of the face, and here in Liverpool, as many magazine features have shown, we're all about the brow. However, the journalists who perpetuate the stereotype of us as Oompa Loompas strutting around in Ugg boots with large black slugs nesting on their foreheads really need to pack it in. Not only is said stereotype probably not a Scouser (we get a lot of people from surrounding areas trying to emulate our look and failing badly), but the aforementioned slugs don't even represent the now infamous "Scouse brow". In fact, a Scouse brow is a beautifully defined work of art, a perfect arch of pure glamour. All the better for giving people a critical onceover and a brow raise of disapproval on their decision to sport a lowly kitten heel for a night out at Mo'niques.
But enough about brows, what about those nipples? A beautician is claiming that she is carrying out three nipple tattooing procedures a week, but despite the media's "three makes a trend" rule, I can assure you that this is not actually the case (although I probably spot three pairs of the aforementioned kitten heels a week, I'd describe them more as a pandemic). The London-centric media may be snobby about us Liverpool lasses, but whether they like it or not, they know that where Scouse girls go, fashion follows. Even Vogue is trying to save face by calling prominent eyebrows a "power brow". No Vogue, you missed the boat on this one, it's a Scouse brow, and you know it.
Everything about this so-called craze, including the cute nickname, smacks of media confection. I'm not having it. You can't just try and force something like this upon us; it has to happen organically. Not only do I find the procedure ridiculous but I resent its association to Liverpool. Scouse birds may have a bit of a reputation for being over the top and "ridiculous" when it comes to fashion but it's not entirely deserved. We're strong, feisty, fashion-forward women. We're intelligent and witty; and the talent for sharp-tongued comebacks and comic timing is higher per capita in my fair city than anywhere else. We understand that beauty is only skin deep but we do not use that as an excuse to let things slide: we like to take care of ourselves. And as I've already mentioned, we don't follow trends, trends follow us, so any attempt to force us into obsessing about our nipples will fall flat on its face. If our adventurousness and our willingness to experiment seem a little outré then look around in 18 months' time: you'll all be at it.
What irritates me most about the reporting of this trend is the suggestion that young Scouse girls are getting their nipples tattooed because of pressure from their boyfriends. I can't see it. It's not as though my fella's ever turned around during an amorous moment and whispered "cracking tits babe, but you might want to make your rose pink nipples a little duskier" (and if he did he'd be in for it). If "tittooing" were the next big trend then, as with other fashions, it would be a female-led one. It may look as though our quest to achieve beauty nirvana is about pleasing men but, in the same way that we don't take orders from men, it's about pleasing ourselves. And if nipple adornment makes you feel fab then go for it: it's your body.
The stereotyping of Liverpool girls is as much about our love of showing off as it is about class. While London trustafarians will spend hundreds of pounds to look as though they've crawled out of a bin, the whole point of popular Scouse procedures such as HD Brows and hair extensions is for display purposes. And I just can't see tattooed nipples becoming a thing unless going out topless becomes a thing. And outside of popular strip club "X in the City" I really can't see that happening.
0
Comments
Great post. Do the men of Liverpool also have their nipples (or any other parts of their anatomy) done or is this a female only phenomena?