Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.
Silly Things People Say!
Comments
-
Watching a true crime TV show the other night:
Her: Do you think she's ran off or do you think her husband's killed her?
Me: The show's called "Catching a Killer" hun...3 -
Woman on the radio just said she’d gone all through her life until recently thinking the saying was ‘from the gecko’ rather than ‘from the get go’.Said she’d never really understood why it was relevant to a lizard.8
-
I thought it was from the ghetto?AFKABartram said:Woman on the radio just said she’d gone all through her life until recently thinking the saying was ‘from the gecko’ rather than ‘from the get go’.Said she’d never really understood why it was relevant to a lizard.2 -
I know someone who spent several years searching for an iron loaf instead of searching high and low!4
-
My mates wife travelling up to London on a packed train with some girl friends and announced her husband was decorating the living room .“Has he got much to do?”said a friend
not really she replied he is just putting up the Dildo rail9 -
I believe I've mentioned this elsewhere, but when my son was little we went round his nan's one day. It's not in the nicest of areas and there was a condom on the path outside. "Look there's a dildo" he shouted, keen to show off his new word. "That's not a dildo" I told him, failing to predict the obvious question coming my way. "What is it then"? "It doesn't matter". "Yes it does, what is it"? There then followed some toing and froing while we waited for my deaf mother in law to answer the door. When she did , he was still going on about it. I said something about it not being polite conversation and that nanny wouldn't want to know. "What is it then"? She piped up.Ronnietheghost said:My mates wife travelling up to London on a packed train with some girl friends and announced her husband was decorating the living room .“Has he got much to do?”said a friend
not really she replied he is just putting up the Dildo rail4 -
My mechanics wife not only thinking the NL sticker on the back of a car stood for Northern Ireland, but arguing about it for about 20 minutes. Then going on to say something about Dutch people in Denmark, but I didn't bother explaining that one seeing as she got so angry about NL standing for Northern Ireland6
-
Whilst watching tonight's Celebrity get me out of here, the missus has come out with this gem when the group received tonight's dinner!
They've got Oxtail, . . . . . . . . is that part of the leg!
Kill me now!8 -
Mrs Stig had a carpel tunnel operation last week. Yesterday we heard my mother in law on the phone to her friend, "she's had her carnal tunnel done".13
-
Could of been worse, could of been " camel toe nail"Stig said:Mrs Stig had a carpel tunnel operation last week. Yesterday we heard my mother in law on the phone to her friend, "she's had her carnal tunnel done".0 - Sponsored links:
-
A few weeks ago my son and I were talking about Ray Illingworth dying when my wife joined in:-
Who was he then?
Me:- someone who played cricket, you wouldn't know him.
How old was he?
Me:- 89
Oh well he had a good innings then!
She couldn't understand why my son and myself were laughing our heads off!3 -
........... head over to the CoViD thread. Plenty of examples on there of the 'silly things people say'!1
-
I’d left the engine running on the car to put some charge in the battery last night………
phone rings later in the evening, a neighbour (elderly) heard it as she returned home. Thinking I’d collapsed/died in the car 🤷♂️ went back her friends opposite and they both looked at the car from outside my driveway gates, not being to see in the dark they went indoors and phoned us.Lynne went next door to thank her, apparently she didn’t want too knock in case the dogs woke her up! 😂2 -
And Brexit thread.bazjonster said:........... head over to the CoViD thread. Plenty of examples on there of the 'silly things people say'!0 -
Another classic from the wife!
We live in Camposol, southern Spain now, and it's been quite windy for a couple of days. Anyway, we were in the car yesterday waiting to pick someone up and she was looking at facebook on her phone. Her cousin is currently in Mexico on holiday and had posted that it was very windy there.
The wife turns to me and says ''oh, it's windy in Mexico as well, must be blowy all over!''
Mexico is 5,000 miles away!!!!!8 -
Foul throw!
relentless bellyaching from the miserable old git in front of me - it's not like the gobby youngster next to him ain't put him straight that there's hardly any such thing anymore, the arse faced codger moans about every throw in taken by a visiting player0 -
We had twins on the IVF and when they were a few months old, my dad was proudly walking them round Tesco's in their double buggy while my mum shopped. A lady came up to my dad and gave it all the goo goo, ga ga, what lovely babies chit chat but, according to my mum, she then hurried off looking shocked. My dad could be outrageous at the best of times so my mum, despite my dads pleas of innocence, gave him a right rollicking for upsetting the woman.
A couple of isles later, this woman came up to my dad again and asked if they were IVF babies.
He had told the woman they were HIV.
My poor old mum was mortified!4 -
Picture the scene.
At my mum and dads.
Room with me, my wife, sisters and husbands.
You get the idea.
My dad explaining to the assembled family group a recent trip on my brother in laws boat.
"Mathew" he said (my nephew).
"Went over the side of the boat for a swim".
We listened intently.
"But he soon came back to the boat because we spotted some Portuguese man of war fish with huge testicles" . Dad opened his arms wide empathizing how big the testicles were.
"Yesss" said mum. apparently unaware of dads mistake.
We looked at each other in amazement as poor old dad rambled on with his story.6 -
PETA are saying:
It’s time to liberate the language we use in rowing. We are calling on all coaches, commentators, and rowers to replace the common phrase “catching a crab” – used to describe a rower losing control of an oar – with “liberating a lobster”. We are sure this would go some lengths towards encouraging compassion for crustaceans.
https://www.peta.org.uk/blog/liberate-lobsters/#:~:text=It's time to liberate the,with “liberating a lobster”.
3 -
That is incredible 😄Raith_C_Chattonell said:PETA are saying:
It’s time to liberate the language we use in rowing. We are calling on all coaches, commentators, and rowers to replace the common phrase “catching a crab” – used to describe a rower losing control of an oar – with “liberating a lobster”. We are sure this would go some lengths towards encouraging compassion for crustaceans.
https://www.peta.org.uk/blog/liberate-lobsters/#:~:text=It's time to liberate the,with “liberating a lobster”.1 - Sponsored links:
-
Years ago I was my mother who met old friend in the supermarket.
My mother: How are you, Dawn?
Dawn: I’m ok but I’ve lost my husband
My mother: Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that
Dawn (turning to left and waving): Oo-ooh. There he is over there looking at the beers.9 -
Came out with a stupid one myself the other day. I was in a pub with Mrs Stig, just as the barman came over to serve us, Pretty in Pink by The Psychedelic Furs started playing.
Mrs Stig: Oooh, I love this. It's my favourite record.
Barman: This is one of my playlists. I tend to play lots of songs from movies.
Me: Oh really, what film is this from then?4 -
Saying, I’m a Charlton supporter.0
