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The Random Facebook Status Thread.

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  • Lol, its actually Finnish :)
  • "Chillin in the park for my lunch hour.. soakin up some rays! #thelife"
  • A selection from a quick scroll down my fb page:-


    Cant wait for my birthday..!!!
    -----------------------
    Hope you all have a safe and a very positive day x love you all x
    ---------------------------------------------------
    Favouritism..!!!
    --------------------------------------------------
    Who eva keeps going on me fuking fb needs 2 fuk off coz they keep trying 2 add ppl I dnt knw and I've been blocked frm adding ppl again when I anit even added ppl I dnt knw wot the hell is going on
    ------------------------------------------------------
    Need to go shopping for funeral and birthday...
    Blimey...
    I have no idea...
    :(
    ==========================================
    In need of getting my nails done :/ miss having them done xx
    --------------------------------------------------------
    I got tolled something the other day and nw they think I'm gonna ignore ans 4get bout it well u knw wot I anit gonna 4get bout it

  • edited June 2013
    First
    "Would like to thank my children's fathers for all their help and support in moving etc for a better life for their children! I wouldn't have done it without u!! Thank u for helping me lift and carry all the heavy items while pregnant cause I had no choice, n thank u for the financial support! Thank u S____ for ur £5 every 2 weeks for R_______ and R_____. Thank u B____ for, well erm... Absolutely jack f**king shit! "

    Then
    "Dreamt last night my belly was see through and I could see R_____ growing and moving etc. How wicked would that be if you could though lol"

    Followed by
    "Can't wait till I can finally come to Plymouth in July and hopefully see my moo and the boys!! L____ B______. I am currently typing this sat in the toilet. Apparently I am now in Fishponds. But when I'm in the kitchen I'm in Filton. When in my bedroom I'm in clifton"

  • you still love her Big Rob ?
  • nolly said:

    you still love her Big Rob ?

    Deeply, and I gave her more thamn a fiver a week! Bitch!
  • edited June 2013

    Who eva keeps going on me fuking fb needs 2 fuk off coz they keep trying 2 add ppl I dnt knw and I've been blocked frm adding ppl again when I anit even added ppl I dnt knw wot the hell is going on

    That one made me chuckle.
  • Who eva keeps going on me fuking fb needs 2 fuk off coz they keep trying 2 add ppl I dnt knw and I've been blocked frm adding ppl again when I anit even added ppl I dnt knw wot the hell is going on

    That one made me chuckle.
    Is that their way of saying that I keep adding people I don't know but I'm gonna blame me mate I wonder?
  • There's a girl I know who posts between 5-10 pictures of her baby EVERY day ("Look, he has new socks!!!!"). The most amazing thing, is that every picture gets a huge amount of likes and comments ("What a gorgeous boy, xx", etc.).

    I've set her to 'important updates only' now, because it was just doing my head in, and clogging up my newsfeed.
  • My most hated of all status updates from a girl..

    "Feels fat"

    Yesterday someone posted these within 2 hours of each other:

    "I'm fat, old and ugly"

    "Times are hard :( "

    "No money. No sleep. Can't pay bills. Can't pay anything. :( "

    "is still waiting for her knight in shining armour on a white horse to rescue her, knowing her luck she will get a twat in tin foil on a donkey! "

    "Still no money. Pointless selling my body too coz I'd have to pay them!!! "

    "wishes she was more attractive"

    You reckon she wants a bit of attention?
    Wow. I am stunned to my VERY core. Hate birds like that.
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  • My gf's Texan cousin "Came down this morning and guess what? Emmy (aged3) was talking to God in the computer screen"

    the replies were just as harrowing

    you go girl...she gonna love him just like her mum

    Sooooooooooooooooooooooo sweet

    so wonderful you shared that with us hun

    facebook + God = mental illness.

  • My biggest hate (which 99% of the time comes from women) is these stupid ahem, meaningful heart warming and insparational messages. One particular person on my friends list sticks about 30 of these peices of shit up every day. Apparently, there is a way of blocking someones posts, but alas, I know not how................................

  • Any quote along the lines of: if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

    Always posted by women with a bit of an attitude.
  • I unsubscribe from loads. You don't offend them by deleting them but you don't get bogged down by their waffle.
  • Curb_It said:

    I unsubscribe from loads. You don't offend them by deleting them but you don't get bogged down by their waffle.

    Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please tell me how to do this..............


  • Curb_It said:

    I unsubscribe from loads. You don't offend them by deleting them but you don't get bogged down by their waffle.

    Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please tell me how to do this..............


    There should be a drop down by their name, and you can untick "appear in news feed" iirc
  • Curb_It said:

    I unsubscribe from loads. You don't offend them by deleting them but you don't get bogged down by their waffle.

    That's my preferred tactic too, I did it to several people who seemed unable to post anything that wasn't littered with c--t and f--k every other sentence.

    I can talk to my parents on the phone anyway.
  • Curb_It said:

    I unsubscribe from loads. You don't offend them by deleting them but you don't get bogged down by their waffle.

    Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please tell me how to do this..............


    Go to the friend in question's home page, hit the 'Friends' button and then hit 'Settings' and you can decide which updates of theirs - if any - you want to see.
  • Curb_It said:

    I unsubscribe from loads. You don't offend them by deleting them but you don't get bogged down by their waffle.

    Please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please tell me how to do this..............


    Go to the friend in question's home page, hit the 'Friends' button and then hit 'Settings' and you can decide which updates of theirs - if any - you want to see.
  • Or use the little gear cog on every post and you can manage posts from that person.
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  • "Wars are probably one of the most horrible things that can happen to the human kind, and still we are the ones provoking it. WTF is in our heads? Oh, wait.. I know.. NOTHING!!!!!"
  • "Grrr can't sleep"

    "Off to bed with the best wife ever"

    "Thats me going bed goodnight Facefookers loool"
    ^^Just been deleted^^
  • BIG_ROB said:

    "Grrr can't sleep"

    "Off to bed with the best wife ever"

    "Thats me going bed goodnight Facefookers loool"
    ^^Just been deleted^^

    "I guess I better get out of bed"
  • "In a bad mood don't talk to me"
  • A mate posted in relation to last weeks Stone Roses gigs

    "reeeeally cant wait for the roses friday .... i think last time i was this excited I'd just got me first dirty finger round the flats !!!"
  • People that slag off other people's boring updates yet their own ones ain't exactly gripping reads.
  • "In a bad mood don't talk to me"

    Inboxed you Gaz!
  • "In a bad mood don't talk to me"


    u ok hun? tb xx
  • edited June 2013
    "1 week!!! - with Katie Edwards."
    Text her then don't subject the rest of us to it ffs.

    Whenever I go on facebook all it does is annoy me. About 5% of what you see on it is vaguely worthwhile, eg when somebodys trying to flog some tickets youre after or just random football videos. The rest is utter pony. Thats the slight advantage of twitter, tend to follow people who have something youre a bit more interested in to read - Id rather see what Johnnie Jacksons up to on holiday than some tit I went to school with.

    90% of the people you wanna stay in touch with you speak to privately on text / email / whatsapp etc all the time anyway. I feel no need to subject everybody else to my elation when John Obika scores a last minute winner in a meaningless midtable Championship match. There are people who I used to quite like and Facebook has made me actively loathe them.
  • could not think of anything more boring than looking at pictures of footballers on holiday up there with men watching the only way is essex
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