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Moral Dilema

BIG_ROBBIG_ROB
in Not Sports Related
As most know I had a kidney transplant back at the beginning of May, since when I've been trying, unsuccessfully, to claim on an insurance that I took out for loss of earnings (maybe another thread for another day). During this claim the insurance company asked me to go to an independent doctor and take some test results and a report of the opperation. Sitting here yesterday I decided to read the report and in it are details of the person whom I got my kidney from (their age, sex and how/where/when they died) so probably enough for me to find out their exact identity through a Google search.

My question is, if it was you, would you want to look into it or not?

My own feeling is to leave it and move on....

Comments

  • Off_itOff_it
    Nah mate, leave it. Maybe make a note of the details in case you ever wanted to find out late , but what's the point?

    Someone has suffered a lot of grief and heartache with the passing of a loved one. What might have made it slightly more palatable is the fact that they know this person help sustain or enrich the life of others.

    So imagine their disappointment if you turned up on the doorstep one day!
    ;o)
  • DaveMehmetDaveMehmet
    I'd leave it mate.
  • LincsaddickLincsaddick
    Difficult. I am very surprised that you were given the details of the donor. It may be that the donor's family allowed the details to be made public or that French freedom of information laws are very different from those in the UK.
    Human nature, I think, would lead to a desire to find out as much as possible about the person who at the very least has radically changed your life for the better.
    If it were me, I would find out all I could. Anything I discovered I would keep strictly to myself and not disclose anything even to my nearest and dearest.
  • BlackForestRedsBlackForestReds
    My own feeling is to leave it and move on....

    Then stay with that.

  • ShootersHillGuruShootersHillGuru
    There is an obvious need to have a feeling of gratitude for the donor and if knowing their name helps achieve that then I doubt there is too much wrong with finding out. You don't have to make any contact with family do you. If on the other hand you don't think the name helps then as others have said leave it be.
  • madaddmadadd
    1. I hope you are well on the way to a full and manageable recovery.
    2. and no pun intended here... trust your gut instinct, maybe it's trying to tell you something

    as you said:

    "My own feeling is to leave it and move on...."

    whatever, I hope you are doing well and the relatives of the donor I'm sure are thinking the same
  • nth_london_addicknth_london_addick
    don't do it mate
  • soapy_jonessoapy_jones
    No.
  • BIG_ROBBIG_ROB
    Yeah, I pretty much made me mind up already, just wondered what others felt.

    Cheers Ad pal, feeling well mate
  • StigStig
    I can understand why you might have an urge to find out, I'm sure I would. That said, I expect the health authorities have very good reasons for not telling you, so I think overall I'd be inclined to trust their professional judgement on it.

    All the best anyway.
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  • MortimericianMortimerician
    Leave it and move on.
  • Dazzler21Dazzler21
    Morally I should say leave it, I know however I would go looking.
  • seth plumseth plum
    BIG ROB, I agree with most to leave it for the sake of those close to the donor. However, in the great concept of what goes round comes round, maybe if you want to show appreciation, then you could think of some way of helping another person in trouble, and tell yourself eventually the goodness will get back to the family of your donor.
  • McBobbinMcBobbin
    Stig said:

    I can understand why you might have an urge to find out, I'm sure I would. That said, I expect the health authorities have very good reasons for not telling you, so I think overall I'd be inclined to trust their professional judgement on it.

    All the best anyway.

    This
  • cafcpolocafcpolo
    edited July 2013
    Dazzler21 said:

    Morally I should say leave it, I know however I would go looking.

    Same as me. I'd go looking for information but certainly wouldn't act upon it.
  • SOTFSOTF
    A family member of mine passed very suddenly and completely unexpectedly about 15 years ago. Out of the blue we received a letter from someone who received one of their organs. It was beautifully written and incredibly comforting to know something positive had come out of a truly dreadful circumstance. I've kept the letter to this day.

    Obviously different horse's/ courses and all that, and if your gut feel says leave it, you know yourself better than anyone on here knows you, I'd stick with your gut.
  • LargeAddickLargeAddick
    edited July 2013
    I'd leave it and just be very grateful that they have saved your life. It's probably the only comfort their family have had from their death and it might not do them any favours getting in touch. Plus, you might find out they were Palace ;-)
  • BIG_ROBBIG_ROB
    edited July 2013
    LargeAddick said:

    I'd leave it and just be very grateful that they have saved your life. It's probably the only comfort their family have had from their death and it might not do them any favours getting in touch. Plus, you might find out they were Palace ;-)

    Lol. Yeah, never thought of that.

    Cheers for the thoughts and the well wishes all
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