How To Make a Russian Smile!?

bazjonster

Following on from what sounds like a depressing afternoon yesterday, I thought I would lighten things up a bit and seek some advice.

I am currently on holiday in Turkey at a fantastic hotel in a small place called Tekirova. The client base is predominantly European with a heavy slant toward Russians and many of their former Soviet comrades (Ukraine, Kazakstan etc). But here's the thing! How the hell do you make a Russian smile or even be polite? Never have I seen a race of such sullen faced looking miserable gits in all my life - you're on holiday Ivan, get over it! They stroll around looking like they want to take the world on and appear more miserable than an Eskimo trying to build his home in the Sahara!

Now, I have been lucky enough to travel a lot with work and work/interact with a multitude of nationalities and cultures. However, never have I experienced such a level of ignorance and 'miserableness' as I have here with the Russians. The Cold War is over people, Glasnost and all!

So, with a week to go prior to getting back for my first game v Donny, what tips do you have to get them to crack one off (a smile!).

Absurdistan

Vodka and more Vodka

Redvalleyeast

Really don't know ,I have been to Turkey several times and yes, it is mainly Russians. I found them to be extremely rude and incredibly arrogant. They don't believe in waiting in line for food/drinks unlike us Brits ay? In the end I just thought sod it, if you cant beat them etc etc and do you know what? They didn't give a shit so neither did I. That said, some of the Russian women.....my God, absolute stunners and their blokes were like big hairy apes, wtf? And still they don't smile!

ShootersHillGuru

Redvalleyeast said:

Really don't know ,I have been to Turkey several times and yes, it is mainly Russians. I found them to be extremely rude and incredibly arrogant. They don't believe in waiting in line for food/drinks unlike us Brits ay? In the end I just thought sod it, if you cant beat them etc etc and do you know what? They didn't give a shit so neither did I. That said, some of the Russian women.....my God, absolute stunners and their blokes were like big hairy apes, wtf? And still they don't smile!

My experience exactly although not in Turkey but Cuba and Egypt.

stonewallpenalty

Cocaine and strippers.

oohaahmortimer

Agree with above re the miserable zero personalityness of the ruskies
Absolute robots
Dubai - egypt - barbados - wherever ...they are ignorant beyond belief

C_A_F_C

Tickle his balls.

letthegoodtimesroll

Tell them you support charlton, that will do it in my experience...

Indigo Joe

Ask him for £40m to purchase a football club.

maybe_baby

If you'd ever been married to a Russian woman you'd know why they are miserable.

Cardinal Sin

Same experience in Crete in 2005 when they first got their visas. ignorant, ill mannered and vulgar. The men were miserable but that may have been the 70's beach wear they were flogged in Russia but it could also be the women they were with. Hard faced most of them and they couldn't see beyond the end of their own big noses. I know it's a big country with a big population but they weren't doing themselves any favours. On the other hand, I have found those I have met here recently far more sociable, educated and more rounded. Maybe if we think about Brits on holiday in certain parts of the world and compare them to British Ex-Pats, the difference is easier to understand, even if I am no promoter of the typical British Ex-Pat.

seth plum

There have been some fantastic Russian writers and composers, but not all Russians are able to write magnificently, or compose brilliantly.

sam3110

You'd be miserable too if you had to live in Russia

Leroy Ambrose

I work with a couple of Russians. They are hilarious. Deadpan humour seems to be their speciality though, so even if they were being funny you probably woukdnt have noticed. They certainly don't do much clowning around.

randy andy

It is strange. The Russians I've met on holiday have been largely as described above, though possibly not as bad. The Russians I met when CIFC played Spartak were a great set of lads, just ask Abs about his trip to Sunderland with them what he can remember was great lol

DRAddick

They have a dreadful reputation amongst the diving community throughout the world for just taking coral and the like and wilfully damaging the environment to get souvenirs. My experience is mostly as above unfortunately. As tourists they are rude and arrogant (even worse than the French).

My mum worked in Russia for a few months and loved the place and the people. She worked/travelled most places around the world and Russia was one of her favourites. But she agrees that as tourists they are rude and arrogant.

I kind of believe it has something to do with new found money and freedoms.

PrincessFiona

Whats with the speedos too?

AddickUpNorth

I've never met a Russian. I don't get out much.

east terrace peanuts

I am 2nd generation Russian (parents born pre-revolution) and I can tell you there are Russians and Russians.....a vast country such as Russia to have experienced the 80 years of pre and post revolution, the horrors of Stalin and the 2nd World War, and the intellectual social and political and seclusion of the fifties and sixties.......I suppose we can forgive the current crop their lack of humour...it will take a little time to adjust.

daveaddick

I can only speak from my holiday experiences as I have never been to Russia but they do seem to lack any social graces so they have money, no doubt but very little class. Frankly my limited experience of them leads me to avoid them.

Hastingsaddick

It helps if you don't go all inclusive.

Mortimerician

They love their children too according to Sting. Might be time for Operation Yewtreeski.

Lincsaddick

how to make a Russian smile ... shoot a German

Stuart_the_Red

DRAddick said:

As tourists they are rude and arrogant (even worse than the French).

Bloody Hell! That is bad!

_MrDick

It's a sign of the times when you come on holiday and the only English Channel on the TV is BBC world news. Currently in Rhodes and the Brits are definitely in the minority. Still, at least you can get a sun bed. The old Ruskies are so hungover from the night before they don't surface until the afternoon.

Algarveaddick

Cardinal Sin said:

Same experience in Crete in 2005 when they first got their visas. ignorant, ill mannered and vulgar. The men were miserable but that may have been the 70's beach wear they were flogged in Russia but it could also be the women they were with. Hard faced most of them and they couldn't see beyond the end of their own big noses. I know it's a big country with a big population but they weren't doing themselves any favours. On the other hand, I have found those I have met here recently far more sociable, educated and more rounded. Maybe if we think about Brits on holiday in certain parts of the world and compare them to British Ex-Pats, the difference is easier to understand, even if I am no promoter of the typical British Ex-Pat.

What is a typical British ex-pat - LOL?

I guess the Russians who can afford to travel have money, from what I can gather to have money in Russia you have to be ruthless and pretty nasty, so you are meeting a very small cross section of the more unpleasant members of their society?

Stig

Leroy Ambrose

Sounds like a good date. Sure this wasn't in, oh, I don't know... Canada somewhere?

johnnybev1987

French seem pretty miserable too