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Sell me this Pen!

Often asked in sales interviews. How would/have Charlton Lifers respond to this question?

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    Turn it upside down and she drops her knickers.
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    By buying this pen, you can chew on this instead of your fingertips when watching Charlton's defending..
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    "buy this pen or i am going to punch you in the nose"
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    Psst. Wanna buy a pen?
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    a) ask for their pen - to show the benefits of your pen, to see what their current pen is like and what their pen requirements are
    b) break/throw away/steal their pen
    c) they have a need for a pen
    d) sell them your pen for a profit
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    Features and benefits
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    Its what the astronauts use - it writes upside down.
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    Are you sure you don't want to get a different, younger pen in on loan?
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    "Sorry but I wish to work for a company that sees originality and individuality as important. I'm not going to waste my valuable time answering such a staid old question. To do so would reflect as bad on me as asking me the question does on you ." Then walk out. They'll call you and offer you the job before you reach the front door.......maybe.
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    This is no ordinary pen it's an M&S pen
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    "We've established that you write, because you showed me the hand-written notes that you often pass to your assistants. I can also see that it's important that you create a good impression when you meet people. I know this because you're dressed impeccably, you greeted me with a firm handshake and I can see everything on your desk and in your office is smart, neat and of very good quality. If you were to use a pen, you would want one that gives a good impression, wouldn't you?"

    "Yes".

    "And if I showed you a pen that gives a good impression, you would be interested in it, wouldn't you?"

    "Yes, I suppose so".

    "Would it be your decision to buy a new pen, or would you have to go and ask someone else for their permission?"

    "I would decide, myself".

    "You hold all responsibility for decisions like buying a new pen?"

    "Yes, I do".

    "This pen is the most stylish, sophisticated pen available right now. It does everything you need it to, like writing neatly; and it gives off a great impression. Can you see how well it writes?"

    "Yes I can".

    "And can you see that this pen gives a really good impression and makes a great statement about the owner?"

    "Yes, I see".

    "So, if I were to offer you this for sale, would you be interested in buying it?"

    "How much is it?"

    "Never mind about the cost, for now, think about the pen. Is it exactly the right pen for you?"

    "Yes it is".

    "So would you like to buy it?"

    "Yes, but how much is it?"

    "It's only £100"

    "That's too much!"

    "Yes, some people might think that. But "too much" compared to what?"

    "What do you mean?"

    "Well is it too much compared to a cheap, nasty pen that is available at any high street store?"

    "Yes"

    "So, would you prefer to own a cheap, nasty pen that anyone could buy?"

    "No, I want that one"

    "Well it's £100"

    "Er... well..."

    "Look, I will make it easy for you. If you agree to buy it for £100 now, I will let you sign the contract with your new pen"

    "OK"

    *done*

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    Its a special left handed pen
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    *done*

    You have been.
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    lemons
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    The only thing that will stop me stabbing you in the eye with this pen is if you buy it off of me.

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    To women:
    'It vibrates'
    To men:
    'It's 2 inches longer than it says'
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    it's 25% cheaper than the Pen Island website
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    Explain that practising grammar in written form is important. You can help your Uncle Jack off a horse, or you can help your uncle jack off a horse. You need a pen to get this right.
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    Can you write down your name for me?

    "I don't have a pen"

    SOLD
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    'If you buy this pen, I'll guarantee you you'll get a feel-up behind the bins.'
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    This isn't foreign rubbish - it's Japanese
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    Sir / Madam,

    This pen belonged to the finest business in all of London.

    The business loved the pen, the pen loved the business.

    The business wanted the pen to stay, the pen wanted to stay.

    The business made the pen an offer to stay, the pen wanted to accept.

    But the business manager had not had not had his contracted renewed, so the pen was unsure whether to stay or not.

    The pen did not feel special.

    If you offer the pen more money, the pen can be yours.

    The pen went to Bournemouth
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    This pen is made in China... I mean how many pens are made in China?
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    "did you know that an anagram of 'Sell me this Pen' is 'Smell the Penis?'

    now, do you want to buy it or not?"
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    Kent_red said:

    Its what the astronauts use - it writes upside down.

    The strange thing is any pen will as there is no gravity in space, as of course will a pencil :-)

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    Pigs included
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