Easter Sunday with the "_it" family.

Off_it

Picture the scene. It's Easter Sunday, the family are all together round your folks house, the sunday lunch has been eaten and the plates have been washed, dried and put away. The weather is gorgeous so you all go and sit out in the garden to take in the mid-afternoon sunshine and have a nice sociable drink and chat.

Then some absolute b****** two doors along fires up the dirtiest smelliest bonfire you've ever encountered and the whole f***ing thing goes to s***. Thick smoke billowing into the garden, getting into the house through the open doors/windows, making the eyes water, stinging the throat and sending my asmathic aunty into a coughing and wheezing frenzy.

If it wasn't the fact that it was a family do I would've been straight round there to rip the bloke a new arsehole. As it is turns out the fella is a copper - (which figures as most of them are as thick as pigsh*t and twice as ignorant) - so probably just as well.

Unfortunately for him I think some mindless vandal may have caused some damage to his car this evening. So, although two wrongs don't make a right there does appear to be some natural justice in the world.

bingaddick

Its a total wind up. They should give an ASBO to the copper. Perhaps that will wipe the smile off his face.

Ormiston_Addick

You have got to give him some back, especially if he is a pig. There are obviously lots of options but as you really don't want him to know its you that is taking revenge (not a great idea to make an enemy of a copper) you have to be a bit careful.
Scratching the car is OK but you could get spotted, I'd definitely go for something a bit more artful that you can really savour.
I had a neighbour here in the house behind ours whose teenage kids were playing music deafeningly loud till the early hours right through the week and he refused to do anything about it.
So, using my tech geek of a brother in law, I got hold of some of those wireless speakers and hooked them up in the trees that look into their kids bedroom windows, my BIL then connected the speakers to my DVD player in the front room and we played an 20-minute loop of my three month old twins and two year old son shouting, screaming and wailing every morning at 5am on the dot.
Those feckers took about three days to get the message and suddenly their music stopped....
In your case, I reckon a couple of deliveries of sand on his driveway (half a tonne makes a nice mess) while he is out could be the way to go.

F-Blocker

When I read the title I thought this post was going to be from Tavern saying he's having second thoughts about marrying Curb_It! ;o)

AFKABartram

LOL, knowing you mate you will be collecting wood over the next few weeks, waiting for him to have a family party only for you to unleash the modern day version of the Great Fire of London !!

You're family does intrigue me, i presume you have a mad alcoholic cousing called Ave_It, with a voice of reason uncle called Leave_It ??? :-)