right, i know i've had a rant on here before about them, this isn't so much of a rant, but...they've changed their numbers, over night yesterday morning, so last night i sat down with my dinner about half 8 and tried to find the liverpool game. the guide told me it was on channel 512. so do you think i can get the remote to change to anything beginning with a 5?
our remote and ntl box have always strugled with 3 numbered channels, but now they're all 3 numbered, and the only ones that seem to work are those that begin with 1**.
so, i have to then go into the guide, find the sport section and then select the channel that way. a bit long winded, but it had the desired results rather than click the button through every single channel.
does anyone else have this problem? I find the remotes the most annoying thing in the world. not far of the design of a childs toy to be honest.
is it just me? i've asked for new remotes, bought new batteries, nothing works. all 4 remotes i ahve in my house are crap.
it doesn't work if you're far away or close up. we've always had to go to channel 41 (sky sports 2) and down one to 40 (sky sports 1) and just got used to it, but thats not right surely!!?!?!?
we were considering getting rid of it, as its just gone up in price too, but as we're only going to be there for another 5 months, it wasn't worth changing companies, and we dont want to get rid totally cos we'll need it at xmas for the cricket, but can anyone suggest how the next 5 months could be a bit more bearable?!?!
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Dear Cretins,
I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone.
During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions. Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office.
My initial installation was cancelled without warning or notice, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat arse waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive at all, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... how? I alleviated the boredom to some small degree by playing with my testi*les for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum.
Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After several further telephone calls (actually 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks) my modem arrived ... a total of six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate that the downtime of your internet servers is roughly 35%... these are usually the hours between about 6pm and midnight, Monday to Friday, and most of the useful periods over the weekend.
I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 telephone calls on my mobile to your no-help line this week, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bollock jugglers.
I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back), that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back), that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off), that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed), that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman.... and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.
I thought BT were sh*t, that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there?
How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum - incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy.
Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you do likewise, and cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver
- any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief - although these feelings will quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps a small measure of bemused rage.
I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you, and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and it's worthless employees.
Have a nice day - may it be the last in you miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of tw*ts,
Yours psychotically
John Doe [editor's note: name changed to protect the innocent]
they've pissed me off a few times now after setting up broadband recently... cant be bothered to go into a rant but some very poor customer service with that company and i will defo get sky when i move.
your remote is different to mine I think
All tv is shite.
Then I came home from holiday once to find out that some clown had put a shovel through the cable outside my house and it took them over two months, yep TWO MONTHS, to finally get it sorted. Imagine being without a telly or a home phone line for that length of time.
And when it eventually got sorted I didn't even get so much as an apology. In fact, it took me weeks just to get back the monthly rental charge they were still taking out by direct debit.
Do yourself a favour and switch to Sky. I was amazed how quickly they signed me up, sent a fella round and got everything going. Even when I had a problem with it a few weeks back I got straight through to someone on the dog and he sorted it out there and then. It's called customer service, and is something that Ntl clearly know nothing about.
reckon you could buy a sports and news only package?
To be fair, there's plenty of total cack on most of these channels - if I watch anything on there it's usually repeats of stuff i've already seen (and liked).
That said, some of them God channels are hilarious to watch, especially if you're pished. It kinda loses it's edge after a while though, once you realise that these freaks are deadly serious. Scary!
Have just signed up to that Skybymobile thing, so I can text my sky+ box to record a programme for me, modern technology bloody marvellous, when it works of course.
Hun, where you moving to? Medway Towns?
medway towns??
not moving yet, just a figure of speech.