A professional football club in Bolivia has signed President Evo Morales as a midfielder for next season.
The 54-year-old, an avid football fan, will play next season for Sport Boys, a team based in the south-eastern province of Santa Cruz.
The first division club said the president would play for about 20 minutes per match but not in each game, owing to his busy schedule.
He will receive the minimum salary, about $214 (£127).
Obviously we would need a good right winger and a left winger who crosses - I was thinking Roy Jenkins, David Owen, Bill Rodgers or Shirley Williams who were left wingers that turned out to be good at crossing (to the social Democrats).
Any further nominations?
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For the England team:
Churchill - capable of taking on the Europeans and winning
Thatcher - capable of taking on the South Americans and winning
Left wing - Tony Benn
Right wing - Enoch Powell
Sub - Boris Johnson - allegedly not quite got the position he really wants
Head of medical team - Nye Bevan
John Profumo - Wife and girlfriend liaison officer
not sure about eligibility rules but being a political team I'm sure any 'issues' could be ironed out with a brown envelope or two.
I thought Cecil Parkinson, Geoff Hoon or Ali Darling as coach, as they were all ministers of Transport.
Will sort out the opposition strikers.