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Things we've learnt in the first week of the World Cup

1. The ball is round.

After years of balls that are "more round", "lighter", "swerve in the air" etc etc there was little or no pre-tournament hype over the Brazuca ball. Which means the players kick or head it and it goes where they want it to, unless you are Wayne Rooney taking a corner.

2. Low tech is better than high tech

The long delayed introduction of goal line technology is a welcome addition but the real innovation, for this level at least, is the very low tech white foam spray. So simple, so cheap. I just hope that there have been kids borrowing their dad's shaving foam to re-enact its use in their back gardens.

3. Roy Keane has not been missed.

A man less suited to punditry or the faux attempts at debate tried by ITV we can not imagine so his absence is a small blessing.

4. Where is the mascot?

Every World Cup has a mascot, usually some anthropomorphic character, and 2014 has one too. World Cup Willie, a lion wearing not the cross of St George but a union flag, was the first in 1966 but where is Fuleco? Admit it, you're not even sure what he looks like. Conspiracy theory is that FIFA wouldn't pay a local conservation group enough so poor old Fuleco, based on an endangered armadillo, has been binned.

5. Jonathan Pearce and Mark Lawrenson. Why?

If only these two were an endangered species. Lawro's grumpy old git act was tedious 15 years ago but still he goes on. And on. And on. Palace Pearce was totally unable to understand the goal line technology pictures in the France v Honduras game and continued to claim it was wrong when the rest of the planet has long since realised that it was two different incidents that were shown.

Pearce also has serious problems differentiating a goal (when the ball goes between the white stick things) and a miss (when the ball hits the outside of the side netting). Two nights running he made this error. All close misses that touch the netting are now known as "Jonathan Pearce goals" at Irving Towers.

5. The stadiums are ready.

Surprise, surprise just like every world cup and olympics the panic stories turn out to be wrong. OK, some of the paint was still wet but they got there at the very, very end.

6. The football is quite good.

No bus parking, attacks better than defence and plenty of goals, what more do you want.
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Comments

  • edited June 2014
    7 Phil Neville is still a knob.
  • 8 Spain are poo poo
  • 9. Humans can function on no more than 5 hours sleep a night.
  • 9. People get obsessive over pundits and can't locate the mute button. (Mark larwenson...that is a man I hate though)
  • 10. that i just can't muster the enthusiasm to watch all the games. ( although i've only missed one so far)
  • Dave2l said:

    9. People get obsessive over pundits and can't locate the mute button. (Mark larwenson...that is a man I hate though)

    Robin Friday didn't think too much of him either. Shat in his kit-bag.
  • 7 Phil Neville is still a knob.

    When was Phil Neville ever a knob? I can't think of a less offensive person in football if I tried!
  • edited June 2014
    11. Try listening to it with Danish commentators then!
  • 11. Reza is better upfront
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  • edited June 2014
    .
  • 12. tippy tappy football doesn't always work - getting the ball upfield in the most efficient fashion does. Just ask Spain.
  • 12. Chile are a good footballing nation and not just something you put in a curry!
  • 13. An African nation will never win a world cup ( or even come close) until they realise it's not about the money you think you deserve, it's about working as a team. Just watch Chile.
  • 13. South American's belt there anthems out like no one else
  • 14 Danny Murphy is a pretty good co-commentator
  • The Brazillians make glass that is way too strong!
  • There is a reason why I don't normally bother with the predictions league...
  • 11. Try listening to it with Danish commentators then!

    @flyingkiwiDK
    Do they sound like this:



    :-)
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  • 17. Thierry Henry is awesome
  • Rothko said:

    13. South American's belt there anthems out like no one else

    This has already become boring though.
    Spontaneous in the Confederations Cup last year, contrived this year.
    Sorry.
  • 18. I definitely regret not being able to go and am getting jealous at the texts/pics flowing my way from my mates!!
  • 19. The excitement of Russia v South Korea is much more exciting before the tournament, rather than 6 days in and you're forcing yourself to stay awake to watch it.
  • Rothko said:

    13. South American's belt there anthems out like no one else

    This has already become boring though.
    Spontaneous in the Confederations Cup last year, contrived this year.
    Sorry.
    How can an anthem be contrived? Its the same anthem each time and its a World Cup on home soil, what do you expect them to do?
  • 19. Rooney's favoured position is missionary.
  • edited June 2014
    20. Australia are probably better than us.
    21. Patrick Vieira's English is quite poor.
  • edited June 2014
    22. A lot of foreign ex pros seem to think cheating is acceptable (Yes i'm looking at you Cannavarro and whoever it was with you that day - Henry or Seedorf I think)
  • 23. Cliches are better than thought. In every language.
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Roland Out Forever!