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National Orgasm Day

http://metro.co.uk/2014/07/31/happy-national-orgasm-day-heres-15-ways-to-have-more-powerful-climaxes-during-sex-4798427/

Today is the day. How are you going to celebrate it? I've already had 5 wanks this morning but now my manager is questioning why I keep disappearing.
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Comments

  • dizzee
    dizzee Posts: 5,616

    http://metro.co.uk/2014/07/31/happy-national-orgasm-day-heres-15-ways-to-have-more-powerful-climaxes-during-sex-4798427/

    Today is the day. How are you going to celebrate it? I've already had 5 wanks this morning but now my manager is questioning why I keep disappearing.

    My manager is questioning why my keyboard has changed colour.
  • Damn. I thought it was National Organism Day. I've just paid £5 to adopt an amoeba.
  • colthe3rd
    colthe3rd Posts: 8,486
    I plan on going to work for 4 minutes then having a bit of a rest.
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,288
    Come again?
  • Dizzle
    Dizzle Posts: 5,190
    but its not my birthday?
  • Plaaayer
    Plaaayer Posts: 8,997
    It's been a long time comming
  • Huskaris
    Huskaris Posts: 9,844
    Metro has been getting a bit edgy recently.

    http://metro.co.uk/2014/07/12/killer-blow-job-sexpert-says-her-technique-is-so-good-it-can-kill-you-4795606/

    The noises this woman makes in this video is like a blocked up hoover.
  • Huskaris said:

    Metro has been getting a bit edgy recently.

    http://metro.co.uk/2014/07/12/killer-blow-job-sexpert-says-her-technique-is-so-good-it-can-kill-you-4795606/

    The noises this woman makes in this video is like a blocked up hoover.

    Hahahaha that video is classic. Just ordered 100 grapefruits from tesco for home delivery tonight.
  • sralan
    sralan Posts: 2,031
    Sorry, can't come :-(
  • Stuart_the_Red
    Stuart_the_Red Posts: 1,849
    edited July 2014
    National Orgasm Day....






    ...If you gave at the office you needn't give at home!
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  • soapy_jones
    soapy_jones Posts: 21,348
    Thanks for reminding me. I'm all about giving me, anyone want a used tissue?
  • ForeverAddickted
    ForeverAddickted Posts: 94,288
    No wonder I was laughed at when I came too early for work
  • soapy_jones
    soapy_jones Posts: 21,348
    This thread could run and run... all down yer leg!
  • Shag
    Shag Posts: 4,555
    I celebrated prematurely twice last night
  • charlton_hero
    charlton_hero Posts: 4,664
    I like to masturbate once a day for health reasons, the other five times are strictly for pleasure.
  • _MrDick
    _MrDick Posts: 13,103
    National Orgasm Day ...Yes, Yes, Yes
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,593
    Thought it was yesterday.
  • charlton_hero
    charlton_hero Posts: 4,664

    Thought it was yesterday.

    Come again?
  • Saga Lout
    Saga Lout Posts: 6,845
    edited July 2014
    This is all I need, I've been to my doctors. I said I have sex with the girlfriend when I wake up, then I give a young lady down the road a lift to work. We have sex in a lay-by on the way in. Then I take my P.A. out for lunch and we normally stop off at a hotel, you know how it is. Then on the way home, we stop off in the lay-by again as you do. Then, the girlfriend and I will make love immediately I get in the door and then when we retire for the night. "Bloody hell", the doc said, "what's the problem"?

    I said "it hurts when I wank".
  • cashncarry
    cashncarry Posts: 980
    I never know if my wife has an orgasm or not,I'm never there
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  • sorry, your favourite wanker came late to this mass-debate!
  • soapy_jones
    soapy_jones Posts: 21,348
    edited July 2014
    Well I think I have excelled myself today in tribute. As the good Lord said "My balls are dryeth, my knob hurteth, the tissue box is empty but it's all in the wrist action son..." (Book of Revelations Chapter 14 verses 12 to 15 in the pew bible)
  • oh, it's saint onan's day?

    After Onan's brother was slain by God, his father Judah told him to fulfill his duty as a brother-in-law (levirate marriage) to Tamar, by giving her offspring. However, when Onan had sex with Tamar, he withdrew before climax and "spilled his seed on the ground", since any child born would not legally be considered his heir.[ He disregarded the principle of a levirate union, so God slew him.

    Early writers have sometimes focused on the spilling seed, and the sexual act being used for non-procreational purposes. One opinion expressed in the Talmud argues that this was where the death penalty's imposition originated. This interpretation was held by several early Christian apologists. Jerome, for example, argued:
    But I wonder why he the heretic Jovinianus set Judah and Tamar before us for an example, unless perchance even harlots give him pleasure; or Onan, who was slain because he grudged his brother his seed. Does he imagine that we approve of any sexual intercourse except for the procreation of children?
    Clement of Alexandria, while not making explicit reference to Onan, similarly reflects an early Christian view of the abhorrence of spilling seed:
    Because of its divine institution for the propagation of man, the seed is not to be vainly ejaculated, nor is it to be damaged, nor is it to be wasted.
    To have coitus other than to procreate children is to do injury to nature, you very naughty boys;>)))
  • TelMc32
    TelMc32 Posts: 9,042
    Blimey tropics...you've put a right dampener on a special day!! ;-)
  • TelMc32 said:

    Blimey tropics...you've put a right dampener on a special day!! ;-)

    sorry to come late to the mass-debate & dampen your hanky tel;>)
  • i was emerged in SHOOTERS hill!
  • My favourite National Orgasm Day photo...

    image
  • My favourite National Orgasm Day photo...

    image

    ohhhh, meggggg ryannnnnn, down boy!
  • TelMc32
    TelMc32 Posts: 9,042

    TelMc32 said:

    Blimey tropics...you've put a right dampener on a special day!! ;-)

    sorry to come late to the mass-debate & dampen your hanky tel;>)
    Ah man...new tissues nurse!!! ;-)
  • MSE7
    MSE7 Posts: 1,345

    http://metro.co.uk/2014/07/31/happy-national-orgasm-day-heres-15-ways-to-have-more-powerful-climaxes-during-sex-4798427/

    Today is the day. How are you going to celebrate it? I've already had 5 wanks this morning but now my manager is questioning why I keep disappearing.

    Not as embarrassing as a bloke I worked with, manager caught him in the bog with a hole saw making a gloryhole..