I heard today that a good old friend of mine in Holland has suffered a horrific accident at work. A piece of heavy equipment fell across his legs, almost severing them both at the ankles. His feet were amputated as soon as he arrived at the hospital. Physically he is a strong old boy, but how does anyone withstand something like this?
He is 41 and has sons of 14 and 8 who idolise him. The family has faced grief before - the 8-yo was diagnosed with leukemia when he was two, but after four long and anxious years mercifully he was declared recovered. And I remember about four years ago my mate ringing me up at six one morning completely distraught - his Dad had rung him to say that he had just awoken to find his Mum lying lifeless beside him in bed. But, no matter sad they are, a sudden bereavement or a child's lengthy illness are quite different to the shock of something like today's accident. A healthy, robust man, active and in the prime of life, must face an indefinite period of painful rehabilitation and the rest of his life disabled, and somehow he has to come to terms with this totally unexpected and brutal new reality.
I just can't think straight at the moment, except to come on here humbly to explain this appalling event in the hope that your ever wise, comforting and practical thoughts can be passed to the family to help them face and then respond to the tragic circumstances they must henceforth endure.
The compassion and understanding customarily to be found in these pages I am hoping will bring some light into this time of profound darkness.
With infinite gratitude - GHF
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You just have to find some sort of positive mate.
Thank god the poor guy is alive firstly and be a good mate and help him recover
I don't think any words will help at he moment. The shock all of you are experiencing doesn't necessarily allow for anything other than anger, upset and despair.
I would think my focus, as a good mate, would be on providing support for his family and himself. Be there to assist them emotionally if you are not able to physically and remain positive and pragmatic.
It sounds horrific. Hopefully in the medium to long term your mate and his family may see that they are fortunate that he is still with them and use this to spur them on.
All the best to you mate, and of course to your friend and his family.
Oh my, oh my - thank you so much for such (predictably) warm and caring words for, well, a complete stranger.
When the surgeons, the nurses and the pharmacists have all done their professional bit, kindly words and heartfelt prayers bring solace and support more powerful than any other treatment.
Please rest assured that your wonderful sentiments will be far from all that our mate Marco will receive to bring him through this unimaginable ordeal. Firstly, and of course closest to him, is his wife Willy (Wilhelmina). She is a lovely lady and fortunately very sensible, resourceful and courageous. She will be supported by the family, their many friends and by the local community (a smallish village). The hospital treating Marco is a top, top establishment. Being in The Netherlands care of all kinds is highly organised, and I am sure that the family will receive the fullest possible assistance in all the necessary formalities and available services. (It is to be hoped this will include a rigorous investigation into what happened and why, to make sure any lessons are learned and repetitions avoided.)
Marco has been a truck driver all his working life, for some years now in the construction industry where he has operated some impressive heavy equipment. Transport in Rotterdam and its hinterland - the logistics hub of Europe - is collectively a vast enterprise, and its membership are notably generous in their efforts to help the less-fortunate. I am sure that Marco will suffer no lack of attention from his haulage comrades, nor, of course, from his "other" industry, construction, itself demonstrably no stranger at all to daily working hazards and the resulting casualties.
And lastly, Marco will have the understanding and proud example of (too) many others stricken with kindred injuries in accidents or in war and fighting to recover. Sadly he will be far from alone in his plight, but conversely this will give him the benefit of so many marvellous developments in recent years.
I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to open this up to our incomparable online community. When there's little that can usefully be done it helps considerably at least to write something. This awful tragedy catches me right in the middle of moving, and it will be a few days before I can get across the water. For want of doing anything more sensible, in a foolish, emotional moment I contacted the Eddie Stobart fan club to explain the situation and to pay for a year's membership and a nice package of suitable stuff to keep Marco occupied for when he starts to mend and time hangs heavy. They will send it to his sister-in-law to keep (secret) until the right moment. If I may, I will keep you posted of his progress.
With all affection and respect - GHF
Oh, sorry - one last thing (can't sleep ....)
Marco and his family were - are - booked to go away tomorrow. (Basically the whole construction industry in Holland virtually shuts down for a certain period). In fact, Marco should have been on holiday all week. However, something came up, the office rang to ask Marco if he could come in yesterday to help out, and as always, he obliged ....
He will need a lot of support from his family and friends to get over the shock and fear that will inevitably follow.
The progress in the field of prosthetics has come on in leaps and bounds over the past years. Specialists are doing amazing work with all the latest materials.
Just yesterday I was watching a customer in our office with a prosthetic leg from above the knee (he was weearing shorts). Carbon, stainless steel and beautifully fashioned joints. When he walked there was only a slight limp to be detected.
Good luck.
As others have said, Marco will need the support of his family and friends (friends like you are just what he needs). His family will be struggling to come to terms with what has happened to their loved one and they need positivity. Marco will be grieving his physical loss firstly and then will very quickly start worrying about his family and his/their future. The first requires positivity and reinforcement of the fact that he is still alive - easier said than done but he will come through the grieving process. The second will require practical advice, guidance and support - for example someone needs to be liaising with his employer and their insurers and this is perhaps better handled by a friend rather than family, allowing the family to support Marco's psychological needs.
Take solace in the fact that Marco will come through it.
Huge thanks again to all. Willy reports that he is on a massive dosage of morphine - by turns he's laughing and joking with the nurses, tearful and asleep. Seems he was fully conscious throughout the incident, which I'd rather not think about. He'd been working on his own, so he had to keep yelling for someone to come and help him. His sons have been told and naturally are very upset, but it seems they still don't quite grasp the full seriousness of it all. GHF.
At the risk of outstaying my welcome may I update the story a bit further ? I fervently hope that no-one on here ever has to go through something similar, but Marco's story might just one day come around again but with different players, and so this discussion, especially your wise words, might serve to guide another poor soul in desperate times.
Well, the family has shaken itself down, taken stock and started to look forward. Marco is being pumped full of drugs, particularly in anticipation of the formidable phantom pain he will shortly begin to experience. The surgical team have been checking out his wounds and his general condition and mentality. Yesterday's emergency op was just a first step and on Monday his injuries will receive further surgery to leave him with clean and sound limbs on which to base his future prosthetics (sorry, not very well explained, but I hope you know what I mean).
His mental state is being monitored very carefully. He is changeable, emotional, scared and utterly exhausted but underneath it all Willy says he is being, in her words, 200% positive. Wonderful to hear !! They're already planning the conditioning to get him used to working his wheelchair, and preparing the special exercises for balance and so forth which will be so important to his long-term recovery. He's quite powerfully built and combined with his strong character there is every reason to be optimistic that he will rise really well to this awesome challenge.
There has been interest from far and wide to the news, not least with the kids. They are slowly coming to terms with things, but the intention is to shield them from excessive attention. For the time being only visitors from family and the very closest friends will be received. Willy tonight has sent out a lengthy text message which brings everyone up to speed no matter how much or how little information they had. Dozens of messages have appeared on Facebook. A handful of dear and trusted friends will be kept briefed and they will pass out information.
Willy is the rock. She is greatly appreciative of the heart-warming support such as on here, and she will make use of all the help she can get, but at the same time she knows that in many ways she will be alone in dealing with this awful situation. From time to time she feels herself breaking but somehow she rallies round and she copes. She's pretty special.
No more to tell you for now. Thank you so much for your interest. It's so great the way that Marco and his wonderful family have reacted to what Fate has thrown at them. 200% positive - just breath-taking !! GHF.
Marco has spent the last three months getting into shape for the next stage - his prosthetics. As I've mentioned, he's always been physically strong and mentally he's certainly no shrinking violet. He's been spending time at the ossie, the rehab centre and home.
Well, last week he took his first steps on his new legs. It's strange at first sight but as soon as he stands and starts to move it's just - no other word - awesome. A long way to go, of course, but he's still getting terrific support as well as first-class treatment.
They made a little video of those first precious steps. I'll see if I can get some technical help to post it on here.
GHF