Dear Roland
I've noticed that your name doesn't smell too good with the pondfeeders who inhabit Charlton Life (or Charlton NoLife as the fragrant Ms Meire considers them) and so I've decided to offer my services.
I think that when you have seen my suggestions you will dispense with 'Night'Meire (my little joke!! I hope it translates well into Phlegmish) and install yours truly as CEO. Quite frankly she has done you few favours by making you appear to be an egotistical cretin who just wants to be surrounded by yes men. Well I for one can't be placed in that category (subject to your approval of course.)
Now it is evident that you favour clueless Belgian-based clowns as head coach. Nothing wrong with that in my book so I've had a trawl about on t'interwebnet thingy and was going to plump for a young sprog named TinTin until someone told me he was a cartoon character. Pity, his CV seemed to pass muster. However further research has led me to the ideal Belgian.....Jean Claude Van Damme!!
True he knows bugger all about tactics but then neither does Fraeye and at least 'The Muscles from Brussels' can give anyone not putting in a shift a flying dropkick to sharpen them up. No names but Vaz Te and Reza had better pull their socks up if they don't want to be wearing their balls for earrings.
Ok that's the back office sorted. Now to keep the peasants at the gate quiet and in the absence of bread and circuses we could do with an influx of experienced players while we quietly ship out the better Academy players like Lookman and before him Poyet and Gomez. I see we have just given an 18 month contract to Roger Johnson who was on loan to us last season and deemed inadequate. Magnificent stuff!! That's just the sort of player we need. I'll bag Pawel Abbott to partner Marcus Bent up top and I'm sure I can persuade Djimi Traore to lace up his boots for one last hurrah!! Let's see if we can get the average age of the side to over 40 and get at least one record this season before we light up Division 1.
Here's another change that will appeal to you I'm sure. Get rid of the statue of that old geezer Bartram and instead get a replica of Brussels most famous hero...the Pissing Mannekin. The idea of him peeing on the proles as they queue to give you money will surely appeal.
Right Roly, you've seen that I'm brimful of ideas so let's get together. I'll pass on using emails as history shows they have a way of disappearing for lengthy periods as Varney found out. Instead I'll bounce through your door next Wednesday at 11 so we can iron out the finer details. Let's make it happen!!!
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