It’s a Saturday morning once again and the B.O is in his shed, about to watch a promotional advert for an exciting new product he’s been working on. Let’s tune in as well, shall we :
“ And here it is, at last, the toy every boy will enjoy! Take over the world and small areas of your parents’ carpet with the latest totally realistic money making figure from ArdiCrap - DamBo!
Yes, DamBo, the only action figure with a completely detachable brain, will cling tenaciously to anything it can grip, and never ever let go! Yes, it’s the ‘MUST HAVE!’ toy in a whole new way! Marvel as it attaches itself to stuff round your house, chairs, tables, taps, doors and even your mum and dad’s legs, and then watch as it cannot be removed without a substantial cash payment!
Listen to its utterly authentic voice commands as it hangs on for dear life to your auntie’s cardigan, your slippers, or even the cat, as DamBo yells some of your favourite one liners:
“ I’m a visionary!”
“£70 million quid!”
“Live stream? Of what? I’m trying to eat!”
“ Vinegar pisser!”
“Huh.”
“ IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!”
Yes, with many exciting accessories like a miniature chain of hotels, a chip counter, and an alternate view of reality, DamBo is the perfect toy for your child if you want them to get ahead in life, and ruin everybody else’s!
DamBo. - He’s a keeper! “
The B.O sips his coffee and takes a bite of his amaretto biscuit. Finally he gives a small nod. Sell 350,000 of them at £20 a throw, and it might just work. Just then he seems to choke a bit on his biscuit again ( why does he do that SO often?) so let’s leave him gasping for air and let’s all enjoy the morning sunshine.
Indeed, it’s going to go well past that I reckon. I just hope we don’t get as far as Day 3000. We’ve all got better things to do, eh, and surely you would have thought the visionary billionaire would have. Perhaps he could turn his laser precision mind to something else, like reinventing rawlplugs or building a new kitchen made out of reformed potato material. Something brilliantly worthy of his unique talent...
Makes it even worse to think about the fact this thread was started after our relegation season in May 2016. If you started counting from the day we all began to really want him to sell (November 2015 was our first ever protest v Sheff Wed) you could probably add another 6 months/180 days to this thread and how long we've been waiting.
Makes it even worse to think about the fact this thread was started after our relegation season in May 2016. If you started counting from the day we all began to really want him to sell (November 2015 was our first ever protest v Sheff Wed) you could probably add another 6 months/180 days to this thread and how long we've been waiting.
I think ( only think, I’m easily confused) that the Count was revised a while back to take into account his entire tenure. 1938 days is more than 5 years worth. But here at the Official Count Till He Foxtrots Off Thread, we reserve the right to be days or even weeks out, the back room staff here endeavour to get it accurate, but in truth they are down the pub half the time, and the rest of the day they’re trying to follow Peanuts Molloy’s tips.
It’s another Saturday morning and The B.O is looking at form in preparation for having a little flutter later on. Let’s have a look at the contenders in the race he is considering:
Going Nowhere 4/1
Off his Trolley Numpty Face 1/1
Visionary Smissionary 3/1
Twat 2/1
Mr Deluded 6/1
All Aboard The Bonkerdom Express 5/1
Chip Raider 10/1
NeverGetYourMoneyBack 7/2
Can’t Dance 10/3
Two Bob Tit 12/1
Ghoulish and Foolish 7/1
Youpickedthewrongclubmate 6/4
**##Off 6/5
Non runners-
Sensible Owner
Knows What He’s Doing
In a strong field like that, it is hard to be certain where to place your money. As the B.O knows only too well, you should only play with what you can afford to lose.
Oh despite this, he is suddenly looking a bit irritated by something. Oh and there goes the coffee across the room.
Let’s leave the B.O pondering winners and good luck to all punters today.
Day 1946 and 1947. Nice day for a walk He may still be here, but he can’t always get in the way of the good stuff about this club and its fans. OhfortheUpbeats...
Was chatting on the walk on Saturday, and we were talking about this thread, and how it started etc, which prompted me to look back on some of it. After a good weekend for the club in many senses, and as we crawl to 2000 days with this situation, I found the following effort as we neared the 1000th day. If only it had been like this -
( Bit of a long one this morning to kick off the "celebrations" as we near the landmark day. And no long ramble next week as I will be off out to buy a party hat )
Day 981 and 982. Today we are going to dip into a parallel universe to look at an alternative future that is out there somewhere. ( possibly - please see The Multiverse Theory - Football Edition ) It is 8.30am and The Best Owner Of A Football Club Ever is sitting quietly on his own in a seat in the West Stand with a cup of coffee. He loves to just sit there quietly before a home game and simply take in the sense of history and atmosphere of the empty old ground for a few minutes. Before the momentum towards the 3.00 kick off starts to build. It is his ground, his club. His, but not his. Because he understands it is about more than one man's ownership, he knows he is only the current custodian, this place belongs to all those who have gone before, and to those who will grace it when he has long left this mortal coil. It is rather chilly in the cold September sunshine, but he hardly feels it. Sitting there always makes him feel a little more alive, as he dunks his little amaretto biscuit in his coffee and smiles. Getting the club back to the Premier League was one of the greatest joys of his entire life. When he had bought the club he had not realised how this success was going to make him feel, that it would be greater than almost anything else he had ever experienced in his 69 years. Seeing the crowd round him going bananas as promotion was achieved, going down onto the pitch to congratulate Chris Powell and the players, hearing the fans chant his name, ROLAND, ROLAND, YOU'RE LOVELY! to the tune of Clive Dunn's Grandad, he had felt that he truly belonged to something for the first time in his life. And the fans? Well they loved him and he, in turn, loved them back. They were the lifeblood of the club, a generous bunch and he respected and admired them for their passion and ability to live, love, laugh and be happy, a club slogan he now completely adopted as the way to lead his own life. Of course, there was always the odd voice of dissent in any crowd ( what on earth had he done to that chap Colin1961, he wondered, to make him hate him SO much?) but he took it all in good humour, after all, you can't please everyone, can you? He had discovered he could be himself with these people, he could be truthful and open, and enjoy the engaging camaraderie of football support that always lifted the spirit, win lose or draw. His family had said that since he had taken over the club he had looked and seemed younger. A man refreshed. A man renewed. And he was pleased and touched to hear that on a message board they were counting up the days to celebrate a 1000 days of his ownership of the club, with fans listing their own anecdotes about him since he had taken over :
"Roly popping into the Oak before the Burnley game to chat to fellow supporters and then he did the old pretend walking down the stairs trick behind a sofa shouting: " Don't worry I'll change the barrel while I'm down here!" Then he bought about 20 of us a drink. A really great bloke."
"Messing about like he does, at half time v Bolton when he did his 15 minute impersonation of a garden gnome sitting with a fishing rod in the directors' box, much to the amusement of the West Stand supporters and fellow directors around him. Classic Roly."
" When it was revealed he was Harvey the mascot for the game v Bournemouth."
" When Yann gave him a piggy back across the Wembley pitch, to celebrate with the fans after that winning goal."
" When asked about developing the East Stand, he got out a roll of duck tape and said 'let's make a start now, I got a load of this bloody stuff in my boot!"
"His tears of laughter at Thuram's antics when he booked him to do his comedy goalkeeper routine at half time. At one point Roly was laughing so much he had to get his hankie out!"
"When he poised for press photos outside the ground v Boro whilst he pretended to be taking a playful swipe at Airman on the corner, who had joined in the spoof Roland Out campaign. He even did his Ali shuffle, much to Rick's amusement."
"Posing with fans and he held up a banner saying Roland Out! A really good laugh. He's one of us"
" The tears in his eyes as he embraced Powelly when we clinched it. The man CARES"
" Simply the best owner of a football club. EVER."
Let us now drift back slowly to our own universe, to the world of Daisy, empty platitudes, contracts to get your season ticket, League One, team selection by numbers and an owner of a great club who just doesn't get it, and never will. And he's still HERE. Oh FUCK........
Comments
He’s still here.
No no no no no no no no ( based on a range of voting options)
Ohforcryingbinsoutgirlsaloud
The majority just in Brexit.
The majority by a landslide in Rexit.
Democracy is slower than a tortoise with athletes foot. (Or feet)
Selling Cafc under Roland is slower than a snails on crutches.
He’s still here.
And the beat goes on.
Ohforcryingoutloud
Fook!
It’s a Saturday morning once again and the B.O is in his shed, about to watch a promotional advert for an exciting new product he’s been working on. Let’s tune in as well, shall we :
“ And here it is, at last, the toy every boy will enjoy! Take over the world and small areas of your parents’ carpet with the latest totally realistic money making figure from ArdiCrap - DamBo!
Yes, DamBo, the only action figure with a completely detachable brain, will cling tenaciously to anything it can grip, and never ever let go! Yes, it’s the ‘MUST HAVE!’ toy in a whole new way! Marvel as it attaches itself to stuff round your house, chairs, tables, taps, doors and even your mum and dad’s legs, and then watch as it cannot be removed without a substantial cash payment!
Listen to its utterly authentic voice commands as it hangs on for dear life to your auntie’s cardigan, your slippers, or even the cat, as DamBo yells some of your favourite one liners:
“ I’m a visionary!”
“£70 million quid!”
“Live stream? Of what? I’m trying to eat!”
“ Vinegar pisser!”
“Huh.”
“ IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!!”
Yes, with many exciting accessories like a miniature chain of hotels, a chip counter, and an alternate view of reality, DamBo is the perfect toy for your child if you want them to get ahead in life, and ruin everybody else’s!
DamBo. - He’s a keeper! “
The B.O sips his coffee and takes a bite of his amaretto biscuit. Finally he gives a small nod. Sell 350,000 of them at £20 a throw, and it might just work. Just then he seems to choke a bit on his biscuit again ( why does he do that SO often?) so let’s leave him gasping for air and let’s all enjoy the morning sunshine.
He’s still here.
Ohfacryingoutloud..
Yep, the April Fool Formerly Known As The March Fool, or indeed The Every Day Fool is still here.
Ohforcryingoutloud...
He’s still here,
ohfircryingoutloud
Long word, even longer sentence under this twerp.
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingoutloud
Something brilliantly worthy of his unique talent...
He’s still here.
ohfucryingoutloud...
"100 BC" was when we was in the championship and not having the greatest season in the world...because Jimenez and co messed up.
Perhaps instead of "before Christ"
100 BC = Before C**T
But here at the Official Count Till He Foxtrots Off Thread, we reserve the right to be days or even weeks out, the back room staff here endeavour to get it accurate, but in truth they are down the pub half the time, and the rest of the day they’re trying to follow Peanuts Molloy’s tips.
Day 1939 and 1940
It’s another Saturday morning and The B.O is looking at form in preparation for having a little flutter later on. Let’s have a look at the contenders in the race he is considering:
Going Nowhere 4/1
Off his Trolley Numpty Face 1/1
Visionary Smissionary 3/1
Twat 2/1
Mr Deluded 6/1
All Aboard The Bonkerdom Express 5/1
Chip Raider 10/1
NeverGetYourMoneyBack 7/2
Can’t Dance 10/3
Two Bob Tit 12/1
Ghoulish and Foolish 7/1
Youpickedthewrongclubmate 6/4
**##Off 6/5
Non runners-
Sensible Owner
Knows What He’s Doing
In a strong field like that, it is hard to be certain where to place your money. As the B.O knows only too well, you should only play with what you can afford to lose.
Oh despite this, he is suddenly looking a bit irritated by something. Oh and there goes the coffee across the room.
Let’s leave the B.O pondering winners and good luck to all punters today.
He’s still here.
Ohfacryingoutloud ( 8/1)
Or does it have a habit of falling at the final fence when all the punters are yelling "it's happening!"?
He’s still here.
ohfurrrrcryingoutloud
He’s still here.
ohfacryingoutLOUD..
Nice away win last night
But he’s still here.
Ohfacryingoutloud.
He’s still here like the bins.
ohforcryingoutloud.
He’s still here.
Ofacryingoutloud
Nice day for a walk
He may still be here, but he can’t always get in the way of the good stuff about this club and its fans.
OhfortheUpbeats...
Plenty of reasons to be upbeat over the weekend.
But he’s still here, not getting it.
Ohforcryingoutloudjustwriteitoffandmove on...
After a good weekend for the club in many senses, and as we crawl to 2000 days with this situation, I found the following effort as we neared the 1000th day. If only it had been like this -
( Bit of a long one this morning to kick off the "celebrations" as we near the landmark day. And no long ramble next week as I will be off out to buy a party hat )
Day 981 and 982.
Today we are going to dip into a parallel universe to look at an alternative future that is out there somewhere. ( possibly - please see The Multiverse Theory - Football Edition )
It is 8.30am and The Best Owner Of A Football Club Ever is sitting quietly on his own in a seat in the West Stand with a cup of coffee.
He loves to just sit there quietly before a home game and simply take in the sense of history and atmosphere of the empty old ground for a few minutes. Before the momentum towards the 3.00 kick off starts to build.
It is his ground, his club. His, but not his. Because he understands it is about more than one man's ownership, he knows he is only the current custodian, this place belongs to all those who have gone before, and to those who will grace it when he has long left this mortal coil.
It is rather chilly in the cold September sunshine, but he hardly feels it. Sitting there always makes him feel a little more alive, as he dunks his little amaretto biscuit in his coffee and smiles.
Getting the club back to the Premier League was one of the greatest joys of his entire life.
When he had bought the club he had not realised how this success was going to make him feel, that it would be greater than almost anything else he had ever experienced in his 69 years. Seeing the crowd round him going bananas as promotion was achieved, going down onto the pitch to congratulate Chris Powell and the players, hearing the fans chant his name, ROLAND, ROLAND, YOU'RE LOVELY! to the tune of Clive Dunn's Grandad, he had felt that he truly belonged to something for the first time in his life.
And the fans? Well they loved him and he, in turn, loved them back.
They were the lifeblood of the club, a generous bunch and he respected and admired them for their passion and ability to live, love, laugh and be happy, a club slogan he now completely adopted as the way to lead his own life.
Of course, there was always the odd voice of dissent in any crowd ( what on earth had he done to that chap Colin1961, he wondered, to make him hate him SO much?) but he took it all in good humour, after all, you can't please everyone, can you?
He had discovered he could be himself with these people, he could be truthful and open, and enjoy the engaging camaraderie of football support that always lifted the spirit, win lose or draw.
His family had said that since he had taken over the club he had looked and seemed younger.
A man refreshed. A man renewed.
And he was pleased and touched to hear that on a message board they were counting up the days to celebrate a 1000 days of his ownership of the club, with fans listing their own anecdotes about him since he had taken over :
"Roly popping into the Oak before the Burnley game to chat to fellow supporters and then he did the old pretend walking down the stairs trick behind a sofa shouting:
" Don't worry I'll change the barrel while I'm down here!"
Then he bought about 20 of us a drink. A really great bloke."
"Messing about like he does, at half time v Bolton when he did his 15 minute impersonation of a garden gnome sitting with a fishing rod in the directors' box, much to the amusement of the West Stand supporters and fellow directors around him.
Classic Roly."
" When it was revealed he was Harvey the mascot for the game v Bournemouth."
" When Yann gave him a piggy back across the Wembley pitch, to celebrate with the fans after that winning goal."
" When asked about developing the East Stand, he got out a roll of duck tape and said 'let's make a start now, I got a load of this bloody stuff in my boot!"
"His tears of laughter at Thuram's antics when he booked him to do his comedy goalkeeper routine at half time. At one point Roly was laughing so much he had to get his hankie out!"
"When he poised for press photos outside the ground v Boro whilst he pretended to be taking a playful swipe at Airman on the corner, who had joined in the spoof Roland Out campaign. He even did his Ali shuffle, much to Rick's amusement."
"Posing with fans and he held up a banner saying Roland Out! A really good laugh. He's one of us"
" The tears in his eyes as he embraced Powelly when we clinched it. The man CARES"
" Simply the best owner of a football club. EVER."
Let us now drift back slowly to our own universe, to the world of Daisy, empty platitudes, contracts to get your season ticket, League One, team selection by numbers and an owner of a great club who just doesn't get it, and never will.
And he's still HERE.
Oh FUCK........
Nice to finish with oh FUCK again
He’s still here. Fiddlydee.
Ohforcryingoutloud