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CHRIS O'LOUGHLIN - THE MAN AND THE MYSTERY (Limericks required)

A while back somebody posted about Katrien Meire and acronyms. I reckon very soon we need a section on Chris O'Loughlin and limericks. Apparently he was born in Limerick, and he's now in Charlton and there's been a lot in between - but pretty hard for journalists and writers to research.

If you actually try to find out any information about him, you will find the trail leads back straight to the horse's mouth. He himself is the source of almost everything that's on Wikipedia and in interviews such as one that appeared in The Irish Sun, which I posted on here a while back. Either the guy's a figment of his own imagination, or he's a great publicist - but this mystery that surrounds every key figure at the club makes me think that some Lord Lucan's riding Shergar around the boardroom on Saturdays behind the darkened windows.

Anyway I have tried to find any Cliftonville supporter who has ever seen Chris O'Loughlin play or has even heard of him off-hand and have not found one, not even the club's official historian. I'm not saying he didn't play for them and it doesn't even matter if he did or not, but everything about his situation makes me think of the (sometimes unconscious) exaggeration that people come up with at the start of their careers when they're looking for a job. Often at that stage of your career, you don't realise you are going to be out of your depth and that seems to be a feature of several people in the club at the present time too. I got this sense of his not understanding the complexities of local context when he talked about not being able to get a job in Northern Ireland. The reason for that is probably because it's a very particular type of football environment where you need to have contacts with people and players at that level. Probably not that different from the 3rd or 4th division (to which I genuinely fear that we could be heading).

Now having said all that I do hope he turns out to be a decent coach or manager as he is inevitably going to become at some stage. Last night at the Trust meeting David White said that there are few really great players who become great managers. So the reverse logic of that is Chris O'Loughlin could finally become the non Scottish born Alex Ferguson that we've been waiting for since Guy Luzon departed in what seems like a dozen managers ago.

But anyway I look forward to the limericks at some stage. Until then I will keep up the search for a Cliftonville fan who knows anything about our prospective new manager even if that's not what he is called yet.
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Comments

  • edited November 2016
    What are liremicks?

    I thought they were a girl band.
  • Macronate said:

    There once was a man called O'Loughlin....

    I give up.

    You and most of us in recent times :(
  • He played for Cliftonville reserves -

    http://m.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/15874500
  • Cliftonville reserves according to this

    http://m.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/15874500
  • Chris caught a Belfast taxi that was black,
    Got in pissed and fell asleep in the back
    But the driver was a rude un
    And took him all the way to Saint Truden -
    Dumped him outside Roly's window and got him the sack.
  • There once was a man who played for Cliftonville reserves
    Whose hobby it was to make jams and preserves
    His ambition was to be a coach for Uncle Roly
    So he buttered him up with a jam roly poly
    But it was horrible and he got sacked and that's what he deserves
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  • Chris came to The Valley for the fight
    To get promotion and put things right
    Buying socks, shirts and pants in red
    As well an Addicks duvet for his bed
    He pondered why fans wore black n white
  • He comes for Limerick
    He makes us customers sick
    Chris O'Loughlin woh woh ooo

    @centurion

    is it pronouced "O - lock - lin" or "O - lof - lin" ?
  • He comes for Limerick
    He makes us customers sick
    Chris O'Loughlin woh woh ooo

    @centurion

    is it pronouced "O - lock - lin" or "O - lof - lin" ?

    I was trying to write a limerick that queried how it's pronounced but failed. I'm going for O-low-ug-Lin
  • There once was a young coaching assistant called Chris
    Who travelled to London for a tryste.
    He never knew Tinder
    could cause him so much hinder
    and all because of a Nightmeire called Miss!
  • Yes. I'm more or less sober for the next few hours ;)
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  • edited November 2016
    Our new 'coach' is Chris O'loughlin
    Meire's masterplan ripped up in the bin
    She put her trust in Russell Slade
    Who didn't make the grade
    So Roly's network puppet has flown in

    But Chris's appointment is but a farce
    A new manager will throw him on his arse
    A spy for the regime
    Protests will become more extreme
    As the Valley becomes ever more sparse

    But my friends there's no need to have fear
    We will rid Charlton of Roly and Meire
    We've fought in elections before
    They can't win this war
    Ridding Charlton of Katrien's verbal diarrhoea

  • I initially read the thread title as "CHRIS O'LOUGHLIN INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY"
  • There was an assistant called Chris
    Who had to win or fall on his sword
    He was the best of the bunch
    He lasted six months
    So got a long service award
  • A man employed by two berks
    Said "I've never worked with The Turks"
    "Try a vol au vent or two
    Then you can be part of the crew"
    Forgetting to say she was Sue Perks
  • Oh good, here comes another network stooge
    Whose biggest game yet was Sint Truiden v Club Bruges
    His experience will be invaluable
    Although his tactics are unfathomable
    But at least he has his own luge
  • edited November 2016
    To be sure, to be sure, to be sure
    O'Loughlin has walked through the door
    To assist in their quest
    To be seen as the best
    At being rotten right down to the core
  • Roland employed the PR Firm Pitch
    At last everything's great, there's no hitch
    Then CARD spoiled his birthday
    He called Meire right away
    And said sack that fat son of a bitch
  • Oakster said:

    Roland employed the PR Firm Pitch
    At last everything's great, there's no hitch
    Then CARD spoiled his birthday
    He called Meire right away
    And said sack that fat son of a bitch

    Almost certainly how it happened.
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