Id tell my mrs that im back onnit Saturdays and to expect me home in the same state that I used to come home in before these wankers took over,win lose or draw. and that all DIY jobs are now complete and football is again my hobby!!!
or i might just write to her
Don't even bother writing to her. Just return home when you feel like it. It's your house after all.
You try telling your solicitor that in a divorce case.
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By the sight of 14 chips.
They will taste better when the regimes gone.