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Funny Christmas Stories

Covered End
Covered End Posts: 52,079
in Not Sports Related
Last Christmas we were playing the "Celebrity Juice game" where you have to say something, without showing your teeth.

The topic, was to say ANYTHING to do with Christmas. About 2 people had their turn and then it was the mother in law's turn.

Nope, she could not think of ANYTHING, to do with Christmas ffs.

Comments

  • Covered End
    Covered End Posts: 52,079
    edited December 2016
    My wife had an aunt, who sat in the armchair all day.

    When she got up, she always without fail, started a fart that continued all the way out of the room and down the corridor.

    She had a glass eye as well. Hilarious.
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    Anyone on here experience and remember the water being shut off about 10 years back, in the Plumstead area? I was staying with my ex Mrs' family up Hinstock Road. Not what you need with about 8 people with bellies full of booze and Christmas dinners, the free bottles of water being dished out weren't gonna flush that away
  • StreekDerek
    StreekDerek Posts: 353
    My youngest son, aged 6,coming home from school saying he was playing Joe Fish in the nativity play. It was only when I read the script that I knew it was actually Joseph!
  • Onlyme
    Onlyme Posts: 384
    Covered End said:

    My wife had an aunt, who sat in the armchair all day.

    When she got up, she always without fail, started a fart that continued all the way out of the room and down the corridor.

    She had a glass eye as well. Hilarious.

    CE your story reminds me of my old Nan, she used sit in her chair all Christmas Day, when she got up to go the toilet upstairs, she farted with every step she took on each stair.
    When she came back down, all of us sat their with cloth pegs on our noses, she didnt have a clue why!!!
  • McBobbin
    McBobbin Posts: 12,059
    My gran once broke wind next to me and my brother at the dinner table, and either only we heard it, or everyone else was too polite, but we sat there creasing up unable to eat a single bite for the whole meal. Everyone else, all my aunt's and uncles were trying to have a dignified conversation whilst we held our ribs and roared
  • clb74
    clb74 Posts: 10,830
    I will tell you one CE
    Staying with me mum and dad for a few days.
    The wife I'm sorry for its like being in prison.
    Got to go and have me shower now going out in an hour mum wants to air the place and have the Windows closed before we go out.
    Dad made a sandwich early told don't make a mess.
    Mums got the hump on phone well there is F@ck all else to do
    Yet to see a box of chocolates
    Reminder to ones self always stay in your own place.
    As I write f@ck me quality streets come out.
    I've refused got dinner in an hour
  • Redrobo
    Redrobo Posts: 11,335
    My nan was doing a charade when a little fart broke loose.

    I quickly said "gone with the wind"? Poor thing was so creased up with laughter she could not speak for about 15 minutes.
  • ElfsborgAddick
    ElfsborgAddick Posts: 29,215
    McBobbin said:

    My gran once broke wind next to me and my brother at the dinner table, and either only we heard it, or everyone else was too polite, but we sat there creasing up unable to eat a single bite for the whole meal. Everyone else, all my aunt's and uncles were trying to have a dignified conversation whilst we held our ribs and roared

    I did not think women farted.
  • ElfsborgAddick
    ElfsborgAddick Posts: 29,215
    clb74 said:

    I will tell you one CE
    Staying with me mum and dad for a few days.
    The wife I'm sorry for its like being in prison.
    Got to go and have me shower now going out in an hour mum wants to air the place and have the Windows closed before we go out.
    Dad made a sandwich early told don't make a mess.
    Mums got the hump on phone well there is F@ck all else to do
    Yet to see a box of chocolates
    Reminder to ones self always stay in your own place.
    As I write f@ck me quality streets come out.
    I've refused got dinner in an hour

    I feel sorry for your wife as well.
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 23,006
    I once swapped a romantic present my housemate had bought for the lady he'd been seeing for a Lynx Africa gift set I wrapped in the same paper.

    Her reaction was brilliant.

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  • SoundAsa£
    SoundAsa£ Posts: 22,509
    ElfsborgAddick said:

    McBobbin said:

    My gran once broke wind next to me and my brother at the dinner table, and either only we heard it, or everyone else was too polite, but we sat there creasing up unable to eat a single bite for the whole meal. Everyone else, all my aunt's and uncles were trying to have a dignified conversation whilst we held our ribs and roared

    I did not think women farted.
    They don't......they pass wind.
  • Addickted
    Addickted Posts: 19,456
    What is it about farts that is so funny?

    A fart at the wrong time in the right place can have me in stitches.
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,638
    Addickted said:

    What is it about farts that is so funny?

    A fart at the wrong time in the right place can have me in stitches.

    Nothing beats a fart for comedy value.

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