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The weird stories thread

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  • Weird unique or plain boring I don't mind but I thought I'd pop this on here, back in 09 I was in a lengthy coma, lots of family and friends visiting saying come on Jon you ol' prick you can make it, you get the picture, fast forward to now I mentioned something at a game to a friend, 'by the way, when you visit someone in a coma try and help, don't say by the way Charlton went down'. He has got over the shock fairly well.

    This really made me laugh.
    Glad you recovered but if you don't mind me asking, so you literally could hear what people were saying all the time?


  • JiMMy 85 said:

    They didn't ask. We did detail the break in on a form. I don't blame the previous owner for lumping us with that neighbour. It wasn't their responsibility to tell us - we should've asked around if we wanted to know more.

    That's unusual. I've always asked and been asked. Fortunately never had to lie as we've always been blessed with lovely ones.
  • At times I would hear snippets curb it, mainly I spent about a month trying to work out why I couldn't move or speak, drs believe I flirted with that dreadful condition that is sometimes called locked in syndrome, I made it to the hartlepool knome game with help, a mighty effort on a great day.

    Fascinating. Very frightening to be able to hear and not be able to speak I imagine.

    Glad you’re better. Would’ve liked to have seen your mates face when you said that.
  • It was a picture, followed by a few choice words, now converted to Charlton we go to most games and he has become absorbed in our history. Usually when asked I just say, I couldn't recommend it as hobby.
  • Great thread. Much more to come, methinks
  • Oh yeh i forgot this one;

    It was fhe year 1989....and i found myself in a race.

    Just completely out of nowhere....a sudden massive volcanic eruption occured and it then became apparant that i was racing 1.1billion beings of my kind. It was a race to an apparant egg. I also had a tail.

    I won
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  • edited November 2017
    These last 2 stories sound like dreams of an elderly person to me.

    My 89 year old MIL got up at 4am last week and started tidying the house up, because people from the theatre would be there soon.

    When she's snoozing in her armchair, she often wakes up thinking it's a different day and says the most peculiar things, but she's ok most of the time.

    Mind you she does ask me what I think of Strictly Come Dancing every week, even though I tell her I never watch it :neutral:
  • .
    Riviera said:

    quite a few years ago my wife and I were sitting at home watching TV when the phone rang. It was my Mum. She said 'I thought you were coming over'. I asked why she thought that. She said 'you said so, about 30 minutes ago when you rang'. I told her I hadn't rung. She said I had. About thirty minutes earlier she had taken a call from me, very upset, saying that my wife, Joanne, had left me. I was apparently distraught. I said it wasn't me and Joanne hadn't left me, she was with me watching TV. My Mum wouldn't believe me insisting it was me. She then said if I was was mucking around it wasn't funny. Now she was upset. My wife and I had to drive over to my Mum and Dad's to calm them down and convince them it wasn't us. Both my brothers got accused of playing a prank but both insisted it wasn't them.

    Just one of those bizarre coincidences where someone dialled the wrong number and got through to someone with a son and daughter in law with the same names. Weird.

    Oh my word Large!

    We had such a similar experience many years ago.
    About 2am, around 1994, in the morning the phone by the bed rings. My wife picks it up and it's her mother. Is everything ok she asks. My bleary eyed wife say yes of course, why? Well, the MIL, continues, I've just had Nanny on the phone, she said you'd called her and said that Mike had left you. What??? Says my wife, he's lying here next to me! We had a bit of a laugh and went back to sleep. Now my wife's Nan was in here late 80's at the time but she had her marbles. She insisted that some woman had phoned her and said that she was upset because Mike had left her. Apparently the woman didn't give her name but sounded like my wife and of course used my name. Very weird and even weirder now I've seen Large's story.
    I hope your name is Mike?! :-)
  • I think address books should be compared. If a name appears in both books that'll be the mischief maker (allegedly).
  • Riviera said:

    quite a few years ago my wife and I were sitting at home watching TV when the phone rang. It was my Mum. She said 'I thought you were coming over'. I asked why she thought that. She said 'you said so, about 30 minutes ago when you rang'. I told her I hadn't rung. She said I had. About thirty minutes earlier she had taken a call from me, very upset, saying that my wife, Joanne, had left me. I was apparently distraught. I said it wasn't me and Joanne hadn't left me, she was with me watching TV. My Mum wouldn't believe me insisting it was me. She then said if I was was mucking around it wasn't funny. Now she was upset. My wife and I had to drive over to my Mum and Dad's to calm them down and convince them it wasn't us. Both my brothers got accused of playing a prank but both insisted it wasn't them.

    Just one of those bizarre coincidences where someone dialled the wrong number and got through to someone with a son and daughter in law with the same names. Weird.

    Oh my word Large!

    We had such a similar experience many years ago.
    About 2am, around 1994, in the morning the phone by the bed rings. My wife picks it up and it's her mother. Is everything ok she asks. My bleary eyed wife say yes of course, why? Well, the MIL, continues, I've just had Nanny on the phone, she said you'd called her and said that Mike had left you. What??? Says my wife, he's lying here next to me! We had a bit of a laugh and went back to sleep. Now my wife's Nan was in here late 80's at the time but she had her marbles. She insisted that some woman had phoned her and said that she was upset because Mike had left her. Apparently the woman didn't give her name but sounded like my wife and of course used my name. Very weird and even weirder now I've seen Large's story.
    So you binned your gilfriend to stay with your wife. Good on you.
  • quite a few years ago my wife and I were sitting at home watching TV when the phone rang. It was my Mum. She said 'I thought you were coming over'. I asked why she thought that. She said 'you said so, about 30 minutes ago when you rang'. I told her I hadn't rung. She said I had. About thirty minutes earlier she had taken a call from me, very upset, saying that my wife, Joanne, had left me. I was apparently distraught. I said it wasn't me and Joanne hadn't left me, she was with me watching TV. My Mum wouldn't believe me insisting it was me. She then said if I was was mucking around it wasn't funny. Now she was upset. My wife and I had to drive over to my Mum and Dad's to calm them down and convince them it wasn't us. Both my brothers got accused of playing a prank but both insisted it wasn't them.

    Just one of those bizarre coincidences where someone dialled the wrong number and got through to someone with a son and daughter in law with the same names. Weird.

    So Joanne binned her boyfriend for you, good lass.
  • Danepak said:

    Not really that exciting:
    Back in the late 90s, my mate and I was playing pool (8-ball).
    It was my turn to break. The 8-ball (black) went in on the break (happens very rarely), so I racked and we started again. His turn to break. Black went in again. We laughed about it. What would the odds be for that to happen twice.
    He racked and when the black went in again, after my break, we just stared at the table in disbelief.

    Normally the white ball with me
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  • 25May98 said:

    Very first line:

    'Not sure if I have put this on here before'.

    I think you would remember. If you really can't remember then someone else will because that sort of thing is not easily forgotten.

    Nope. I've put all sorts of shit on here before - there was a thread a while back where we did this and I can't remember if I put it on there or on some other forum somewhere. I genuinely can't remember - I've told that story to a few people before (generally gets wheeled out on my first night out with a new workplace)

    And no, it weren't up the Gary
    Why not?
  • Dave2l said:

    Describing strange things that have happened. The purpose of this thread.

    I have one. Weirder things have happened but this just sort of stands out for some reason.

    "Weird" I find the word to not really be a solid reliable one as not all people think alike. What might be considered weird to one person from a different country, might just be the norm to someone else. Obviously.

    It was Christmas time ish 2015.

    Was in Canada looking for a place to live as I wanted to move out from where I was staying at that time.

    I used a website called kijiji to find a room I could rent.

    I rang a woman up who had a place advertised. It looked quite nice and was relatively affordable. Judging by the sound of her voice, she sounded more like an elderly person. Sounded genuine though.

    The day arrived for me to view the place.

    As I was getting close to walking on the road I could potentially end up living within, a rather eerie feeling crept it. I thought it was just nerves. It was, but was also a scenic area that reminded me of the film Texas chainsaw massacre. It was horrible.
    Nerves, I kept reminding myself.

    The road of houses actually overlooked a lake. A freshwater beach.

    The atmosphere of the surrounding area was dreadful. Scary. Nerves I kept saying.

    Anyway. I got there, knocked on the door.

    Before i knew it, a family of freaks in the most smelly small uncomfortable cramped house were all interrogating me asking about what kind of a person I am. Very aggressively.

    It's hard to describe... I can handle myself but I was trembling and trying to contain my true thoughts. Already I knew I wasn't going to live there and i straight away just wanted to leave.
    It was also in the middle of nowhere.

    All the members of this family were rather old. I think the youngest might have been 40 odd. Perhaps.

    It was almost like a random collection of people. The interior design of this place was awful. The kitchen actually looked more like a cupboard.

    So, the woman that i spoke to on the phone, her even older and rather fat sister, who was also wearing a bandana, (maybe she was ill wont hold that against her) took me upstairs to show me where I would be sleeping and possibly living.

    We would be sharing the same living space. Was a living room upstairs and our bedrooms were directly opposite each other. The walls were thin.

    A white anorexic cat also occupied this living space.

    This woman made it clear to me that the cat was a well respected senior figure of this family and that I would need to get its approval over time.I would be welcomed but would be officially beneath the importance of a cat. That was just an impression I got. She didn't actually say that....

    By this time I'm looking forward to leaving. I was just polite being nice.... seeing it out.

    She then sat me down and said "David" (said my name in a way that you would if you've known someone for years)

    She put her hand on my knee, briefly, not sexually.

    "David there's something you should know, sometimes I like to er I have people up here and I .......entertain men"

    There was a little silence. I was sort of inbetween looking at the floor and looking at her foot at this point.

    I just said OK yeh being social and stuff, that's nice. Then I looked away.

    She just said "well you know noise and stuff. Your going to hear. You need to be alright with the er company"

    That conversation was pushed along by myself and I was using a manor to nicely suggest OK I've seen everything now, let me go home and think about it.

    I was then stopped.

    Oh you haven't seen the lake yet. My nephew will show you.

    "Brendan" took me outside to the lake where he then proceeded to tell me his life story within 5mins, all the really crappie things that have happened to him and got a little emotional in the short space of time we was looking at the view.
    Nothing against that. It's just a random thing where you don't quite know how to react to someone being that open with someone they've only just met. Instant trust. Too much.

    "Sometimes I just come out here look at the stars and think about life"

    There was a slience while he was looking into the distance....perhaps with a growing tear in his eye.

    OK....I said. Thanks.

    I then abruptly said cheers and goodbye. The woman waved at me through the window...indication of a belief that I'd be moving in.

    I then sort of started jogging.

    Got far away as possible.


    Weirder things have happened but I'd be interested to read stories where lifers want to share things that could either be considered weird or interesting.

    A really good "what the f*ck was that all about" story.

    Over to you.

    When it got to the cat and approval I was expecting beastiality to crop up........

    Anything you're not telling us?
  • Carter said:

    Danepak said:

    Not really that exciting:
    Back in the late 90s, my mate and I was playing pool (8-ball).
    It was my turn to break. The 8-ball (black) went in on the break (happens very rarely), so I racked and we started again. His turn to break. Black went in again. We laughed about it. What would the odds be for that to happen twice.
    He racked and when the black went in again, after my break, we just stared at the table in disbelief.

    I stand to be corrected (as I often was playing far inferior players who knew how to play to league rules better than my rocket Ronnie style of sink your colours quickest and get on the black quick sharp, not that I'm bitter or anything) but sinking the black off the break was a instant win, unusual, and I've never known it happen twice let alone thrice in a row but I'd have chalked up a win every time.

    http://www.epa.org.uk/rules.php

    4. COMMENCEMENT OF THE GAME (OR RE-START)

    If the 8 ball (black) is pocketed from the break shot, the balls will be re-racked and the game will be restarted by the same player. No penalty will be incurred. This applies even if other balls, including the cue ball, are pocketed, or leave the playing surface ("off the table").


    OK, I thought it had to be restarted by the opponent, not the same player, but you definitely don't win, if you pot the black on the break.
  • JiMMy 85 said:

    Some of you may recall the rather odd story involving a break-in at my house in 2015. There is a small follow-up that goes with it, which is a bit odd.

    (Long story short - maniacs break into my house at night and terrorise me and my GF as we lie in bed, eventually they realise they have the wrong house and break into next door instead, before then running away. They apologised to me, which was nice).

    A few weeks after the break-in, my girlfriend of the time has gone to stay at her parents'. My drug dealer neighbour (let's call him "Andy", cos that's his name), has been off the grid (he broke his foot jumping out a window when he ran away from the invaders).

    I came home from work and heard his weasel voice. "Jimmy85. Jimmy85. Come here. Jimmy85."

    I looked around, I realised his garage was open and he's inside, beckoning me in.

    "What's up?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer.

    "I wanna know why you ain't talking to me and Sally."

    I walked into his garage. It was disturbingly well organised. All the shelves were perfectly adorned with an incredible assortment of items, from sparky equipment to stargazing or weather-tracking paraphernalia. Andy was hopping from one foot to the other. He has an enormous amount of pent-up energy. As usual, he had a blunt on the go but, sadly, no amount of grade-A skunk can slow down his manic brain.

    He's a slight little fellow, about 5'8", probably weights about 9 or 10 stone, with approximately zero percent body fat. Loos a bit like the TV presenter, Ben Shepherd. His clothing, as bizarre as it is to me, is always well-planned - colours that compliment, belt buckle always central, gold chains delicately resting over his chest.

    "What have we done? why ain't you talking to me?" he asked, aggressively.

    "Well, you know... we had five masked men break into our house because of you so..."

    "You think that was my fault? Do ya? Fucking hell do ya? I'm a victim too!" he explained, angrily.

    "Well, if you move in such circles, you're going to attract this stuff." was the essence of my point. It took a good 5-10 minutes for me to land it. He was furious for us in any way blaming him. I knew it was pointless to discuss it with him.

    Eventually, he said "I gave the cops a fortnight, I told em, you got a fortnight, and if you ain't caught them I'll get them," for it seemed Andy had a pretty good idea who the culprits were.

    "And they've had three weeks, so I sorted it myself."

    "What do you....erm...mean?"

    "I caught them innit. The main fella. I caught him. Put him in a box didn't I? We're the men of the house Jimmy85, we have to look after our women. You want that, don't ya?"

    "Yeah... I am ok with the police dealing with it to be honest."

    "I've put people in the ground for less!" he declares. "Look at this!"

    He tries to show me a video on his phone, I presume, of him doing unpleasant things to a guy in a box. I decline looking at it, and then realise, he's shut the garage door. I just want to leave. But Andy won't stop, he's obsessed with me being his friend, something I am very keen to avoid, and he REALLY wants me to watch this video.

    Eventually, someone bangs on the garage door. Two guys are out there. both of them 6' plus. And this is the bit that concerned me - he shouted at them, these two hulking men, and they apologised and went to wait in the road. They were scared of the little guy. Up to this point I'd presumed Andy was more bark than bite, but the reaction of these two, who were no snowflakes, was not what I expected.

    Eventually I left the garage, and went back to my life. I've not spoken to him since. These days he spends his evening outside in a Rocky dressing gown, playing hockey with his dog, stargazing or using his speedbag/ punchbag (he has it out front so he can talk to people while he boxes). He holds court out there. He's always in my life. his voice, nagging away about whatever (he rarely leaves the house, fuck knows what he has to care about), or the smell of his weed wafting up through my window. He's always just... there.

    We've sold the house, and move out this month. Suffice to say, I hope I never, ever see him again.

    If anybody knows Otto, you know now to stay well clear.
  • Dazzler21 said:

    quite a few years ago my wife and I were sitting at home watching TV when the phone rang. It was my Mum. She said 'I thought you were coming over'. I asked why she thought that. She said 'you said so, about 30 minutes ago when you rang'. I told her I hadn't rung. She said I had. About thirty minutes earlier she had taken a call from me, very upset, saying that my wife, Joanne, had left me. I was apparently distraught. I said it wasn't me and Joanne hadn't left me, she was with me watching TV. My Mum wouldn't believe me insisting it was me. She then said if I was was mucking around it wasn't funny. Now she was upset. My wife and I had to drive over to my Mum and Dad's to calm them down and convince them it wasn't us. Both my brothers got accused of playing a prank but both insisted it wasn't them.

    Just one of those bizarre coincidences where someone dialled the wrong number and got through to someone with a son and daughter in law with the same names. Weird.

    So Joanne binned her boyfriend for you, good lass.
    It could have been the you from an alternate reality in which you are breaking up from your wife. If you believe in the Many Worlds Theory then there are probably thousands of other universes in which this scenario has happened. Maybe the phone call was an overlap of some sort.
  • Dazzler21 said:

    quite a few years ago my wife and I were sitting at home watching TV when the phone rang. It was my Mum. She said 'I thought you were coming over'. I asked why she thought that. She said 'you said so, about 30 minutes ago when you rang'. I told her I hadn't rung. She said I had. About thirty minutes earlier she had taken a call from me, very upset, saying that my wife, Joanne, had left me. I was apparently distraught. I said it wasn't me and Joanne hadn't left me, she was with me watching TV. My Mum wouldn't believe me insisting it was me. She then said if I was was mucking around it wasn't funny. Now she was upset. My wife and I had to drive over to my Mum and Dad's to calm them down and convince them it wasn't us. Both my brothers got accused of playing a prank but both insisted it wasn't them.

    Just one of those bizarre coincidences where someone dialled the wrong number and got through to someone with a son and daughter in law with the same names. Weird.

    So Joanne binned her boyfriend for you, good lass.
    It could have been the you from an alternate reality in which you are breaking up from your wife. If you believe in the Many Worlds Theory then there are probably thousands of other universes in which this scenario has happened. Maybe the phone call was an overlap of some sort.
    Oh - just realised that this story is from my brother. I can't remember that happening at all.
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