Wasn't sure whether to post this or not but thought it was worth a shot and at a pretty low point in my life at the minute so nothing to lose.
Just wondering whether anyone had any short term work going at the minute, preferably evenings and weekends. Don't wish to give a full dragged out life story but 10 days ago I lost my mum. She had been ill for a few months but the death itself still came as a huge shock. Me and my brother hadn't realised how bad things had got and she has left very little money. There are debtors calling (you literally won't believe how some of them are acting) and we need to fund a funeral.
My brother has taken on a second job and I think its only fair I do the same being the eldest. She was a wonderful woman who deserved a good send off and having explored other avenues, I don't think we can get much help. Realise borrowing money off friends is one of those things that creates a very awkward situation, but still surprised by how some of my so called friends have distanced themselves from me expecting me to ask.
I am not asking for a hand out, I will work for anything anyone can offer me. Its not an ideal situation as I also have a 11 year old sister to care for but I didn't know where else to go. Not sure I can get any sort of loan out or anything given my credit rating is not the greatest and my brother is only 17, we are just looking to knuckle down and try to raise as much as possible over the next week or so to get the funeral sorted. I will do any old job and for any amount.
The last year has been the worst of my life, lost my nan, my grandad, my aunt and now my mum. I wouldn't bother getting out of bed in the morning if it wasn't for my sister, she deserves for me to give my best.
Thanks for any advice in advance, sorry to depress you all!
Steve
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I don't have any regular work but I do have a loft that I've noticed is full of stuff I haven't touched for years and I was considering paying someone to have a clear out.
Do you drive by any chance? I can help sort out the stuff that needs to go to the tip but then i was going to hire someone to get the stuff downstairs and into a motor and get it to the tip.
If you drive and have a car that would be perfect. If not we can maybe sort something out where you just come and help get the stuff down from the attic, load up the car or van and he'll unload at the tip....
I know that collection agencies can be nasty at the best of times though, and I don't hold much hope of them being particularly sympathetic, but I'd hate to think they're making this time even more difficult than it needs to be. I'd also hate to think of them putting pressure on you to do something that goes against the priorities of you, and your younger siblings.
Before she got ill, did your Mum work? If she was in a union, they may have benevolent funds that you could try claiming from to help with the funeral expenses. If she was a member of a pension scheme, then there may be a lump sum payment that you're eligible for. Might not be much, but every little helps.
As for your friends distancing themselves, it may not be that they're worried you're going to ask them for money, more that they just don't know what to say, and rather than risk putting their foot in it, they're bottling out. It's not uncommon with sudden deaths, even when there aren't financial pressures involved, especially when those concerned are fairly young and haven't had to deal with it before. Hopefully they'll get their acts together soon.
Sorry to hear about your mum. Must be awful. RIP.
You are probably incredibly stressed and it's tough. You have also probably already thought of the things that I am about to mention.
It depends what you directly need and how much time you have.
You obviously want to work and do 2 jobs.
I assume as you want evenings and weekends, that is on top of a job you already have.
Depends what you have to sell in terms of goods.
If you have anything of value that you don't necessarily need or it's not close to your heart, get rid. Get the cash.
If you have bar experience... Even though, as you say, it's hard to lift yourself at the moment.
I would just go to every bar/pub in the local enough area and just say have you got any work available.
If they piss you about and say something like, you apply online, then ask to speak to the manager and use a bit of overwhelming force. Take it to the wire. It's hard to do but people love that.
You need that 2nd job.
Sounds simple but it's also very much easier said then done.
Working in a restaurant is also an evening and weekend gig. As you are probably aware.
Your gana hate me for saying this but McDonald's is a place that's very very flexible for working hours.
They are always employing and looking for people. It's not a bad place to work. It just does not sound very glamorous.
Last August I was almost completely screwed. I literally, in the absolute nick of time , saved myself just through sheer hard work. I owed the bank over £3,000. £1,000 had to be paid immediately and I had absolute F*ck all. It was a nightmare and scary.
The pressure was painful. Sleepless nights.
All I will say is, your living your dark days but the sun will rise eventually.
At the moment. It may currently be hard to see in or believe in that.
Good luck.
Try an employment agency... Can probably pick up a job right there right then. Possibly cleaning or unloading trucks but it's money.
Thanks for the help above, will look into it all.
I hear you when you say you aren't looking for handouts however for all the cantankerous bastards on this site we are a tight bunch and I would like to help if you were to post a justgiving page.
I can't offer you a job I'm afraid, unless you want to paint a fence in the medway towns but don't be a stranger.
All the best
On the debts side, they then fall to the estate. The exceptions may be if there was a guarantor or some form of security on the loan. Is there any insurance that might cover the debt? This sums up the position https://moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/articles/dealing-with-the-debts-of-someone-who-has-died
If you are getting aggravation, the law is your friend. Find out their names and who they work for and tell any overbearing debt collectors they are harrassing you and tell them you will report them for offences under the Harassment Act 1997.
Neither you, personally, nor anyone else other than the estate or guarantors are liable for anyone else's debt.
Secondly as per above the debts are not yours but your mums estate. If the estate can't pay them they'll be written off (subject to no one else having acted as guarantor etc). If your mum had any money left use that for the funeral expenses before paying anything else.
If you need a hand with that let me know. Happy to spend an evening going through it all to see what's what with you and writing a few letters.
Does your current employer have a hardship fund? Many will in situations like this help you out even if it's an advance on wages.
Drop me a message if you need any help.
Try giving a call to the statutory funerals section of your local Council. The Statutory funerals officer will be able to offer some support & advice regarding the funeral & costs. Call up the main Council switchboard to get through to them. The officer may also suggest other local advice organisations that can help. The Council internet home pages may provide detail of who the officer is and what service support provided.
Try National Debtline to help get a grip / control of debts. They will be able to offer advice on your mum's debt. Also some advice on managing your own money & avoiding building up debt for you & your brother in the future.
Good luck with all of it
The following may not be for you so apologies if you take offence but....
Have you already signed with a funeral director?
The local authority has a duty to (sorry for the term) 'dispose of the body' of anyone who passes away within their border.
I know recently, someone passed away and nobody was able/willing to take responsibility for the funeral.
This happened in Greenwich. They have a department which arranged a simple, but dignified funeral. There was a normal hearse but no following fd cars and a cremation service at falcon-wood. They also appointed someone to conduct the service who contacted those closest to the deceased for information on them and hymns/prayers etc.
The council then has first dibs into their estate to recover their costs.
I'm sure other authorities would do similar.
But if you've signed with a fd, then I believe there's not much that can be done.
When my brother in law died, my sister was eligible for a one off widows payment. I will ask my sister how she applied and what process she went through. I appreciate that you are not a widow but you might be able to get something similar
Some good advice above especially about it not being your debt and speaking to debt advisors.
Stay strong
If your Mum's estate is insolvent the debts get written off. Don't pay anything.
Get organised. Make a list of everything owed. Does your Mum have a will?
You also need to grieve and come to terms with things as well so give some time to yourself or you'll go into meltdown. You also need to be strong for your young sister - it's a terrible age to lose a mother.
For a bit of extra money maybe try refereeing 5a side at a Goals or Powerleague. Not brilliant money but easy and a bit of cash in hand.
I am extremely humbled at the support I have received. I have received advice, offers of donations and I can see many of you were willing to help in any way you could. I will be eternally grateful for this, was in a right mess yesterday and the support received has really boosted me.
I got an offer this morning from a friends dad of a lump sum where I can work in a scrapyard over the weekends for the next few months as repayment. Not really my thing but an offer I couldn't refuse and has saved me.
I can start to move forward now, I will take your advice on board and try not to bury my head in the sand too much.
I felt guilty asking for support, not sure I have ever really contributed to much and am not a regular poster on here as such. I have changed a lot as a person over the last few months and I really hope I can help some of you guys out in the future in anyway I can.
Thanks again for all the kind words and offers I have received over the last 12 hours, made me realise what a great forum this is.
Steve
All The best