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Celebrity Dreams

A-R-T-H-U-R
A-R-T-H-U-R Posts: 7,678
in Fun, Jokes & Captions
After reading this tweet which was more Viz than Viz itself, I wondered if any Lifers had enjoyed a dream involving a celebrity?

Comments

  • SuedeAdidas
    SuedeAdidas Posts: 7,730
    @DaveMehmet alert!
  • JiMMy 85
    JiMMy 85 Posts: 10,189
    I once had a dream that I was in a big kung fu fight with a bad guy, who then turned into Emma Bunton, in my mum's kitchen. It's one of the only times I recall that I was able to fight properly and not that shitty "agggh, I can't lift my arms!" type of dream.

    Once I won the fight, I found myself raiding a sort of illegal street market. I had a badge and gun and got to shoot some villains. I would love to go back into that dream.

    Also, while we're on the subject of dreams, I'd like to invoke Mitch Hedberg: "I'm tired of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask where they're going, and catch up with them later."
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,820
    Bizarrely @oohaahmortimer was in my dream last night. I bumped into a load of guys and girls from my primary school in a pub and oohaah was sitting at the bar on a stall chatting to some woman.

    Random
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,587
    I dreamt I was eating a pillow last night. When I woke up, the giant marshmallow I'd left on my bedside cabinet had mysteriously dissapeared.
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    I have regular dreams and me and Hayley Atwell.......sadly I then wake up and Mrs Otto asks me who Hayley is.
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    edited November 2017
    SuedeAdidas said:

    @DaveMehmet alert!

    I hope he doesn’t dream about who he was on the train with this evening.
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,587
    ricky_otto said:

    SuedeAdidas said:

    @DaveMehmet alert!

    I hope he doesn’t dream about who he was in the train with this evening.
    More like a nightmare
  • Exiled_Addick
    Exiled_Addick Posts: 17,168
    AFKABartram said:

    Bizarrely @oohaahmortimer was in my dream last night. I bumped into a load of guys and girls from my primary school in a pub and oohaah was sitting at the bar on a stall chatting to some woman.

    Random

    C'mon, it's not that weird... we all know nothing charms the ladies like an encyclopedic knowledge of lower league english football away attendance figures.
  • Floyd Montana
    Floyd Montana Posts: 3,730
    RodneyCharltonTrotta said:

    I had a horrendous dream the other night. Nick Clegg was chilling round mine for some unknown reason dressed in casual attire of a t- shirt and tracksuit bottoms.

    He was sat across the living room from me sprawled on one of the settees and it became apparent that said tracksuit bottoms visibly identified that Clegg was apparently endowed in the manner of a thoroughbred racehorse in both length and girth.

    If that wasn't sufficiently alarming the next stage of the dream saw my missus declare that she was going to "fetch the tape measure and compare you both" which, going by the presented evidence was a contest I was going to come of out of very fucking badly indeed.

    To further douse fuel on the blazing fire of self-defeat and humiliation my subconscious caused me to shrivel up like an over ripened grape in a frozen lake at the notion of this prospective political "willy off".

    Woke up with the right camel with the wife and a sense of shame and inadequacy not felt since my mum sent me into the 3rd year of a new secondary school in circa 1994 in a green C&A anorak and a £4 haircut.


    Two things I learned from that dream

    i) Won't be eating cheese that near to bedtime again

    ii) Will never ever ever consider voting Lib Dem

    I had EXACTLY the same dream, and that's why I always vote Lib Dem.
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  • pilchard
    pilchard Posts: 3,763
    edited November 2017
    RodneyCharltonTrotta said:

    I had a horrendous dream the other night. Nick Clegg was chilling round mine for some unknown reason dressed in casual attire of a t- shirt and tracksuit bottoms.

    He was sat across the living room from me sprawled on one of the settees and it became apparent that said tracksuit bottoms visibly identified that Clegg was apparently endowed in the manner of a thoroughbred racehorse in both length and girth.

    If that wasn't sufficiently alarming the next stage of the dream saw my missus declare that she was going to "fetch the tape measure and compare you both" which, going by the presented evidence was a contest I was going to come of out of very fucking badly indeed.

    To further douse fuel on the blazing fire of self-defeat and humiliation my subconscious caused me to shrivel up like an over ripened grape in a frozen lake at the notion of this prospective political "willy off".

    Woke up with the right camel with the wife and a sense of shame and inadequacy not felt since my mum sent me into the 3rd year of a new secondary school in circa 1994 in a green C&A anorak and a £4 haircut.


    Two things I learned from that dream

    i) Won't be eating cheese that near to bedtime again

    ii) Will never ever ever consider voting Lib Dem


    This is fantastic, beautifully written and bloody hilarious. You could base a stand up routine around it.

    The author either has the very weirdest dreams ever or has an amazingly warped and wonderful imagination. Either way..... I love it.
  • Fumbluff
    Fumbluff Posts: 10,121
    ricky_otto said:

    I have regular dreams and me and Hayley Atwell.......sadly I then wake up and Mrs Otto asks me who Hayley is.

    Was she the one from Corrie that ran the caff with Roy?
  • cfgs
    cfgs Posts: 11,474
    I rarely remember dreams but a long time ago..........I awoke in bed in a bit of distress and the wife asked what had upset me. I supposedly answered I had met Big Carl Leaburn and he had been rude to me.
  • Swisdom
    Swisdom Posts: 14,976
    Kim Wilde.

    My first "big boy" dream

    Unforgettable
  • Redskin
    Redskin Posts: 3,112
    I dreamt that I met Charles Bukowski.
    'Can I buy you a drink,' I asked,
    ''I'm not not drinking anymore,' he replied.
    I woke up feeling miserable and cheated.
  • Carter
    Carter Posts: 14,240
    edited November 2017
    My wife has had the right hump with me for the last week because SHE had a dream I'd been banging a recently divorced friend of hers.

    I wouldn't mind if I'd actually shagged this woman but she's got the arse with me over something she'd dreamt
  • cafcdave123
    cafcdave123 Posts: 11,491
    Carter said:

    My wife has had the right hump with me for the last week because SHE had a dream I'd been banging a recently divorced friend of hers.

    I wouldn't mind if I'd actually shagged this woman but she's got the arse with me over something she'd dreamt

    Seems to me that technically, technically, you're allowed to shag this woman now.
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    edited November 2017
    cafcdave123 said:



    Carter said:

    My wife has had the right hump with me for the last week because SHE had a dream I'd been banging a recently divorced friend of hers.

    I wouldn't mind if I'd actually shagged this woman but she's got the arse with me over something she'd dreamt

    Seems to me that technically, technically, you're allowed to shag this woman now.
    Agreed. Might as well do it if she’s got the hump about it already.
  • addickfanatic
    addickfanatic Posts: 1,113
    edited November 2017
    Carter said:

    My wife has had the right hump with me for the last week because SHE had a dream I'd been banging a recently divorced friend of hers.

    I wouldn't mind if I'd actually shagged this woman but she's got the arse with me over something she'd dreamt

    Once tried to kick the wife in my sleep as I dreamt she was having an affair. Woke up tangled in the duvet frantically kicking and feeling seriously pissed off with her, made even worse by her killing herself laughing when I told her what happened.
  • Carter
    Carter Posts: 14,240
    cafcdave123 said:



    Carter said:

    My wife has had the right hump with me for the last week because SHE had a dream I'd been banging a recently divorced friend of hers.

    I wouldn't mind if I'd actually shagged this woman but she's got the arse with me over something she'd dreamt

    Seems to me that technically, technically, you're allowed to shag this woman now.
    I think this divorcee is getting plenty of cock right now without my girth getting in the way
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  • jimmymelrose
    jimmymelrose Posts: 9,740

    It must be due to a chat recently about Mike Mills, guitarist and non-lead vocalist of REM, that I had this vivid dream last night :

     

    I was evidentely in Athens Georgia looking for the place where REM had recorded their early albums because out of the front door of the house before which  I was standing came Mike Mills.

     

    He spoke to me briefly and then somewhat reluctantly, as if he would feel bad otherwise, invited me in.

     

    I use the word ‘in’ with the loosest sense. It was like a ruin. He showed me where the old recording studio used to be and then we went beyond that to a huge space built within the rocks. (Thinking about it now I believe that REM and the B52s used to perform in a church, and this was like we were in a bombed out cathedral). Mike was telling me about his amazing renovation plans whilst deftly climbing up the rocks like a mountain goat. I got stuck on one rock and he had to come to my help and ease me down.

     

    Then we went to a shopping centre. Peter Buck joined up with us along with some other friends of his. From that point Mike was talking to Peter. We were in a glass ceiling food court. I went off looking for something vegetarian but all I could find were hazelnuts that we given to me free by a kind waiter, in a restaurant that only served meat. When I got back Mike told me that hazelnuts were free everywhere in Athens.

     

    Later, I was in what I thought was my hotel room but I had a large lounge. At that point the dream went off at another tangent. I realised that this lounge probably wasn’t private and I heard noises in the corridor. At the end of the corridor in a bedroom were three young women who seemed quite at ease taking their clothes off in front of me. Of course, I woke up at this point.

     

    Apologies about the end but I had to tell it like it was.

     

  • EricBanterna
    EricBanterna Posts: 1,740
    Not a celebrity but had a dream about the giant chicken from Family Guy  who was dressed as a nazi, knocking on my door looking for me. 
  • jimmymelrose
    jimmymelrose Posts: 9,740
    EricBanterna said:
    Not a celebrity but had a dream about the giant chicken from Family Guy  who was dressed as a nazi, knocking on my door looking for me. 
    There are other threads for non celebrity based dreams, believe it or not.

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