After giving this a ton of thought the last week, I have decided to temporarily suspending my "active" fandom until Roland
is gone and that includes posting and visiting this site as much. I've decide such "non-action" is the appropriate level of protest given the nature of things and what is at stake, but also I am doing so for my actual sense of personal well-being.
I am back-burnering my activity not just until he is "rumoured" out, or "it's happening" out, but until the ink
is dry on a new owner and he is holding a scarf, high. This means, for
now, visiting just once every few days for 1-2 minutes just to see if he has
sold, etc, with very few posts of any kind. Given I cannot attend matches from here, it is a kind of "virtual" resistance.
I cannot even
imagine how much worse this all is for lifetime fans and those of you in
England and Charlton who are long-time fans. I feel very bad for everyone else here,
all of whom have far, farrrrrr more time with this club than me. I've
never even attended a match and I am feeling a sense of darkness
overhang me that is increasingly entering my daily life. And this is the big issue.
My favorite NBA team is my local Golden State
Warriors, who just got dumped by the Raptors in the finals. Even with
five straight NBA finals trips and three Championships, this was a
brutal, emotional roller-coaster of a season. But all of us Dubs fans
know that our owners care and they spend, both big and smart. The owners
are.... fans. CAFC? I've never experienced anything quite like this
before in any sport I've followed the last 42+ years. One good day is
followed by a week of frustration as the ongoing fan
experience. I have a business to run and a family to support and the
hour-plus per day I lose to such disappointment from the owner is more
than I can take, simply because it is making the rest of my life....
worse, not better. Football is life but my life is more than football.
Promotion...
it happened in spite of our owner, and I will never forget it. Its
memory and sense of exultation will have to hold me through coming
months (hopefully not years.) But I cannot take this every day. I can suspend my "active" (key
word) interest and resume my hour-plus-per-day obsession with this club
on this board if/when he sells the club.
But I feel at this point to give Roland any quarter of support of any
kind, including my emotional investment here, is actually helping him. I
think Blackpool fans, who had it at least this bad, for far-longer, actually
show what is necessary, here. Total, Gandhi-esque "non
cooperation." Otherwise, at some level, I feel I am feeding the monster known as Roland, even tacitly, and I can no longer take it on a day-to-day basis.
Even beyond that though.... I am being
hurt as a husband and business owner by sinking so
much time into something the owner himself seems intent on harming and I need to step back a bit for me and my family. It is
almost impossible to not have the negative effects of RD's ownership and
continual harm not affect my relationship with others in a
negative way. When I read about Bowyer likely leaving due to Roland's antics,
and losing players would who probably take somewhat lesser wages to stay
here....it affects how I run my business and how I interact with my wife
and friends for hours and hours afterwards. Day after day. It should not. As a fan I owe other fans and the club, but not as much as my wife and friends.
Football
should make life better, not worse and despite many amazing moments
this season, I see the latter as increasingly happening more than the
former right now and due to this I need to take stock of this
dynamic and adjust, so that is what I have decided to do, for a while.
Promotion and that final match, the whole season.... the memories are still very strong in
me and I don't want to lose those memories or overly cloud them in a morass of negativity unleashed by
Roland in 2019-20.
Studies of the bad effects of social
media ring familiar to what I sense here; that I feel worse now after
reading about the club, rather than better. Those same studies show
well-being improves after cutting out Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. I
am about to see if the same happens with football fandom, at least as
long as this lunatic is in charge of my favorite team. In the end, CAFC
should make my life.... better. And this season, it actually did! But
the coming season looks dark as night I feel I need to act now for my own well-being. Or at minimum, to preserve beautiful memories.
I've got massive
admiration for all those who still go to matches and make CAFC a
core-part of your life and I suspect you will all win, eventually. You
have my deepest respect! But I cannot seem to box-in the toxic effects
of his ownership decisions from my family and business day-to-day and I have too
much on-the-line to risk it anymore with Roland running things. I know you will
eventually get him out and when you do, then I hope to be back. You are my fan-heroes for your resistance and your mettle
exceeds mine, for sure. You are carrying the torch for me and literally
thousands. You have my utmost respect, which has grown more and more in
the last few weeks as I read the board and see this happening. For me, the best decision is non-cooperation on all levels.
I hope to be back when the
celebration of his departure is confirmed. It's not a goodbye, because Roland will be out, eventually, probably because of all of you, the actual owners. Til then, stay strong, for
you are the real club and you will eventually emerge victorious.
Comments
Anyway, it's probably a good idea to take some respite from this crazy soap opera.
Perhaps take up a new interest, like Maths, perhaps?
Coming soon, the next instalment: "How WE Got Our Club Back".
You do get a gentle ribbing from time to time but the forum is a better place for your presence. It’d be a shame if you withdrew from discussions.
Because my Dad took me to the dark side every couple of weeks I was damaged for life. After 50 odd matches down the Den I had severe nightmares and PTS, mainly caused by coin throwers and the weird site of men in cloth caps. The vast valley with its small crowds was more relaxing but everytime I had a new fav player the owner at the time would sell him(The apathetic Michael Gliksten was owner at the time)
Around the age of 10 I signed a contract to be a Charlton fan till I die. I didn't read the small print correctly and there was no escape for me. I did run away from home once and join a circus but my family traced me and rescued me from a Lion's mouth yet again.
The moral to this story is Supporting Charlton whether from afar like you Napa, or going to the game has always carried a Government health warning. The highs of May 98 and May 2019 haven't totally made up for mainly 50 odd years of tosh, but I will honour the contract even though I feel like running away from home again and this time joining a library. Well it is less dangerous than the Lions den.
Keep posting, it is cathartic even if it may be best to cut back.
Napa, like you I chose to support Charlton Athletic. I've never been to a Charlton game either. In hindsight, the season 2004-05 when I decided to become an Addick is the best season the club has had in the past few decades. It has gone downhill since then. But somehow I've managed to remain as a Charlton fan. During the past 15 years I've also watched a lot of other clubs' matches but either as a neutral or as a casual fan of their managers. Absolutely no club compares to Charlton Athletic in my heart, not even close.
I've said a lot of times that I always feel lucky to have chosen Charlton as my club (Curbs thank you for appearing to be such a special manager on the touchline, which got me curious and led me to learning the great history of this club). One bad owner can't take away my dedication and love to this wonderful club. Plus I've made friends from this great forum and these people are one of the reasons why I'm so proud to be a Charlton fan.
Napa, the difference between you and me is that I don't take the agony into my life. Much as I hate RD I try not to let all of this negativity affect my life or work that much. When we won the game at Wembley, I got excited and felt buzzing for the entire week. I was brought down to earth by the difficult situation regarding players' contracts and then Bowyer's. If I were a local fan I would probably decide not to buy the season ticket. But I can't imagine not participating discussions on here. If everyone does nothing, just walks away, not even talks about the situation, gives zero pressure, then RD will win. We'll be seen as weak. I think we are much stronger than that. After all our fellow supporters even created a party to get the Valley back. Keep the faith.
I reckon
50% you post again today
64% you don't.
I think that's a fair swap : - )
P.S. It's good news this morning!!!
Edit - it's 'happyvalley' who does that - as you were
You're signed up to Charlton now.
Your contract says: "Charlton till I die".
There's no escape. You're one of us now. If we've got to suffer, so must you.
You'll even have to come to The Valley one day.
PS: When we visit, don't forget to organise the wine tasting!
I think if and when there’s a takeover it’ll be much better for everyone’s mental health.
There are signs of a type of mini mass hysteria taking over sometimes, and it’ll be much healthier when the intrigue is over, and we can concentrate on football again.
The last few weeks of the season were a joy, with most fans coming together, as it should be. We all seemed to get a real kick out of it.
Hopefully if and when you come to the Valley for the first time they’ll let you lead the teams out in to the pitch!