Such a sad reflection on today’s society that the questions even has to be asked, and I can fully understand why it has been. I would just say hello, and take it from there.
So different from when I was a and no doubt many of you were young, my dad worked Saturday’s, therefore never had the opportunity to take me to football, when I was 5 me and my big brother was 8 we decided we wanted to see some proper football, so we went round the local off license and I was helped over the wall to collect 12 empty bottles, I then climbed back out and we walked into the off license and handed them over and got the 1d each for returning them. We then walked down the town, hopped on the train and went to Charlton, it was 1958. Many gentleman helped us on our adventure, they saw us across the road, they helped me onto the train especially after the game when I could have so easily been crushed. Those gents all long gone, started my 62 year long love affair with football and with Charlton, it was halcyon days but even then there were strange people about, but the vast majority were good and kind, they did look after you, they made sure you were safe, just as you will do baldybounce. Without those kind people my whole life would have been changed, I would have missed out on so much pleasure, agony, friendships and the greatest day of my life the 98 play off final.
I've been that kid with no one to go with at times...
Just ask him if he's ok, maybe make a comment about how a player is playing or just something small, then let the kid take the lead, he might want someone to speak to (unless you're in the West stand, most people don't want to sit in silence for 90 minutes). See how it goes, I know me and my brother and I both made very good friends with an older gentleman who sat by us, to be fair at the time I was 19, but my brother was 10.
Sat by him for years. Unfortunately he has left in the period we have been boycotting, was hoping to see him again when I got my half season ticket.
Such a sad reflection on today’s society that the questions even has to be asked, and I can fully understand why it has been. I would just say hello, and take it from there.
So different from when I was a and no doubt many of you were young, my dad worked Saturday’s, therefore never had the opportunity to take me to football, when I was 5 me and my big brother was 8 we decided we wanted to see some proper football, so we went round the local off license and I was helped over the wall to collect 12 empty bottles, I then climbed back out and we walked into the off license and handed them over and got the 1d each for returning them. We then walked down the town, hopped on the train and went to Charlton, it was 1958. Many gentleman helped us on our adventure, they saw us across the road, they helped me onto the train especially after the game when I could have so easily been crushed. Those gents all long gone, started my 62 year long love affair with football and with Charlton, it was halcyon days but even then there were strange people about, but the vast majority were good and kind, they did look after you, they made sure you were safe, just as you will do baldybounce. Without those kind people my whole life would have been changed, I would have missed out on so much pleasure, agony, friendships and the greatest day of my life the 98 play off final.
Totally agree, had virtually the same thing written down but changed it.
Just be normal. What would you do if it was a 20 yr old?
That would be no problem at all but I'm 62, he's about 11. If he goes home and tells his dad the old man in the next seat talks to him.. you get my drift.
Maybe his family is expecting someone to "take him under their wing" while he's at games.
I've got a bit of an anecdote for you - When I went to my last yearly check up, there were 4 patients in the same room. The lady sitting opposite me had her daughter with her and, while the mother was taken off for scans, the girl, in her early teens I reckon, started talking to me and the old boy sitting in the other corner. She and her mum were from Chad and she was saying how they ended up in France. She then asked me where I lived and where I was from, when I said England, her eyes lit it up, and we were talking for a good solid 20 minutes, in English, about England and that she wanted to go to Cambridge Uni etc. At the end of my tests, the nurse said I could go home. As I left the room, the Girl was standing in the corridor and asked for my number and email address so we could talk in English? Straight away, without a second thought, I gave it to her and I remember saying that my Mrs would be happy to talk with her too.
It weren't till I was driving home that I realised what a idiot I'd been and I was genuinely paranoid till I spoke to my Mrs. An innocent act, that come from a completely good place gave me anxiety for the following few days.
Have you heard from her since?
Yeah she got back in touch and asked for his date of birth and mother's maiden name.
Are u sure he’s only 11? Not being funny I’m awful with guessing ages. We had a lad start at our place last week. Looks about 12/13 to me. Gave me a copy of his passport for his HR file and he’s 18 in May.
A friend of mine looks very fresh faced and could easily pass for being 10, maybe even 20 years younger than he is. He once started a new job as an office manager and all his team thought he was the school experience boy who was starting on the same day. Having a great sense of humour, he played along with it before he had to reveal himself as the new boss when the real school kid turned up.
Are u sure he’s only 11? Not being funny I’m awful with guessing ages. We had a lad start at our place last week. Looks about 12/13 to me. Gave me a copy of his passport for his HR file and he’s 18 in May.
A friend of mine looks very fresh faced and could easily pass for being 10, maybe even 20 years younger than he is. He once started a new job as an office manager and all his team thought he was the school experience boy who was starting on the same day. Having a great sense of humour, he played along with it before he had to reveal himself as the new boss when the real school kid turned up.
I think it’s sad that this is even a debate. I would definitely say hello and ask him how he is, particularly if I was saying hello to the other regulars. Just make him feel welcome.
He must feel nervous surrounded by adult strangers. Introduce him to the other guys as well, then it’s not just “old man talking to young boy”.
As a Welshman living here it is really noticeable how people are far less likely to strike up a conversation in London than elsewhere. It’s quite sad. You ask most visitors from the “country” and they all say London is not a friendly place. When you get to know people that isn’t the case, but Londoners are far less likely to talk to strangers, I guess because there are so many more of them!!!
Baldybonce is a nice chap - when he sprung a hello on Charlton Aesthetic and I outside MK Pizza Express it was very natural and welcome! On that basis I'm sure it'll go well, although I only act 11
Just be normal. What would you do if it was a 20 yr old?
That would be no problem at all but I'm 62, he's about 11. If he goes home and tells his dad the old man in the next seat talks to him.. you get my drift.
Just say hello, make an occasional remark about the game & leave it at that, no need for conversation as such. It is an awkward situation I guess but just talking about the game is quite normal I would have thought. We all do it but understand your concern.
You’re a good bloke Baldy, don’t over think it mate. Start a general conversation during the game when we have a chance, goal etc and then ask him who he’s here with, which one or other will make the situation clearer.
Next time we score both of you will no doubt stand up........so, turn to him and offer him a high five. Seems like a great friendly and inoffensive way to break the ice a little.
Next time we score both of you will no doubt stand up........so, turn to him and offer him a high five. Seems like a great friendly and inoffensive way to break the ice a little.
Sadly doing what I do with my Therapy dogs I fully understand why we have to be so guarded against what we say or how we approach youngsters. I often get asked to help children where I live and get told they don’t live far from the beach where I live, so the child can make their own way there to meet me. I just have to say no, sadly our conversation can get misunderstood or even maliciously misinterpretated to mean something else. Sadly comments like that by @Indianaaddick above certainly don’t help and while a simple “hello are you ok” would be deemed as polite conversation I would tend to keep myself to myself unless in the company of other fans.
I think it’s sad that this is even a debate. I would definitely say hello and ask him how he is, particularly if I was saying hello to the other regulars. Just make him feel welcome.
He must feel nervous surrounded by adult strangers. Introduce him to the other guys as well, then it’s not just “old man talking to young boy”.
As a Welshman living here it is really noticeable how people are far less likely to strike up a conversation in London than elsewhere. It’s quite sad. You ask most visitors from the “country” and they all say London is not a friendly place. When you get to know people that isn’t the case, but Londoners are far less likely to talk to strangers, I guess because there are so many more of them!!!
This is so true. Born in Charlton & grew up in Orpington, it was quite a revelation when I went to other parts of the UK and found people spoke to strangers! One of the things I love about the North West, apart from the wonderful countryside, is how friendly people are. Weeding Mum's front garden always takes twice as long as it should because nearly every dog-walker stops to pass the time of day.
I understand your reservations @Baldybonce, but being there with Jnr should help bridge any awkwardness. There have always been Wrong'uns about - and caring parents have always warned their kids about talking to strangers - but the fact that you are alert to the dangers of misinterpretation means you are unlikely to do or say anything which could be misunderstood.
I was always encouraged to be independent, and from age 11 was allowed to take the train alone to London to meet a friend (she lived on a different train line) for shopping trips, etc. At 13 I travelled alone by train & boat from London to Munich to stay with a penfriend. I was always grateful for the occasional kind word from strangers - and certainly recognised the difference between that & the young man who approached a carol-singing trio of us 12-year old girls, with the invite to come with him to some local waste ground to "see some baby rabbits" (Baby rabbits in December ffs? Did he think we were born yesterday?!)
Plenty of excellent suggestions here how you might open communications - and then see whether he wants to reciprocate, either that game or the next. If a dangerous crowd situation should arise, you will probably act instinctively and in a way you would wish another man to have behaved when your lad was 11, if you had not been at his side at the time.
Remember going when I was a kid and sat next to this right old boring bastard. Used to always try and strike up chats even after I told him I didn't want to talk, running commentary on every game etc.
Let him buy me a hot dog once and after that, christ he wouldn't pipe down....asking me about how I was getting on at school, moaning about his marriage and giving me life tips.
Even asked me what I wanted for Christmas.
In the end I got sick of it and told dad to shut the fuck up for 5 minutes.
Bloody hell Rodders that punchline was easier to see coming than Stormy Daniels. Still laughed though.
Well that was awkward. We’ve introduced ourselves and his dad and siblings are elsewhere in the Covered end. My boy is still insistant that i should’nt speak fo him as it could be mis- interpreted.
Comments
Just ask him if he's ok, maybe make a comment about how a player is playing or just something small, then let the kid take the lead, he might want someone to speak to (unless you're in the West stand, most people don't want to sit in silence for 90 minutes). See how it goes, I know me and my brother and I both made very good friends with an older gentleman who sat by us, to be fair at the time I was 19, but my brother was 10.
Sat by him for years. Unfortunately he has left in the period we have been boycotting, was hoping to see him again when I got my half season ticket.
I'm going to shake him by the hand, introduce myself and Jnr, ask him where his dad is, if his dad is nearby i'll introduce myself to him.
Seems like a great friendly and inoffensive way to break the ice a little.
I understand your reservations @Baldybonce, but being there with Jnr should help bridge any awkwardness. There have always been Wrong'uns about - and caring parents have always warned their kids about talking to strangers - but the fact that you are alert to the dangers of misinterpretation means you are unlikely to do or say anything which could be misunderstood.
I was always encouraged to be independent, and from age 11 was allowed to take the train alone to London to meet a friend (she lived on a different train line) for shopping trips, etc. At 13 I travelled alone by train & boat from London to Munich to stay with a penfriend. I was always grateful for the occasional kind word from strangers - and certainly recognised the difference between that & the young man who approached a carol-singing trio of us 12-year old girls, with the invite to come with him to some local waste ground to "see some baby rabbits" (Baby rabbits in December ffs? Did he think we were born yesterday?!)
Plenty of excellent suggestions here how you might open communications - and then see whether he wants to reciprocate, either that game or the next. If a dangerous crowd situation should arise, you will probably act instinctively and in a way you would wish another man to have behaved when your lad was 11, if you had not been at his side at the time.
We’ve introduced ourselves and his dad and siblings are elsewhere in the Covered end.
My boy is still insistant that i should’nt speak fo him as it could be mis- interpreted.