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The Forum Factory- An unflinching look back at the history of football forum aggro

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  • Read this morning and I'm still laughing at The Thesaurus! Absolute classic. 

    Brilliant stuff Rodney
  • "Wouldn’t have held their own when outnumbered on a “Best ground for pies” thread on Doncaster’s forum on a cold Tuesday night with a hundred angry Yorkshiremen ranting at them ."

    Best thing I've read this year.
  • Boom said:
    Good work Rodders. Reminds me a bit of this for those of a certain age...

    Whilst most supporters know about the hooligan violence that blighted
    football in the 70's and 80's, few people will be aware of the clashes
    that took place between rival children's TV gangs.

    This week sees the publication of 'Congratulations you've just met the
    RJF', the long awaited biography from children's TV favourites, Rod,
    Jane and Freddy. This explosive book brings readers face to face with the
    relentless violence of 80's kiddies TV.

    Beginnings

    Rod: In 1979 there were a lot of really useful firms operating out of ITV
    and "The Rainbow Boys" were one of the best in the business. The
    problem was, because we were new, we were always on the outside looking
    in. It was time to make a bit of a noise and show them we could handle
    ourselves.

    Freddy: We decided we were going to take Play School in their home pub,
    Chatters wine bar in Hampstead. On the face of it, it was a f*ckin
    ridiculous thing to do. They were pretty handy and had a big reputation,
    but that didn't mean nothing to us. We were ready to make our mark and
    didn't care how we did it.

    Jane: We got there early and just kept a low profile. Pretty soon the
    whole place was filling up. There were quite a few faces in there: Fred
    Harris, Derek Griffiths, Big Ted. I can't say it bothered me. All I was
    thinking was, "You're going to get it, you numpties!"

    Rod: I think it was Johnny Ball who clocked us. I can remember him saying
    something like "I can think of a number: the three wnkers stood over
    there" and it all kicked off. Even though they hit us with everything they
    had, we took it. All I can remember is Freddy screaming, "Hold the line,
    just hold the fckin line" and we did.

    Jane: I didn't think they could believe that three of us had taken about
    forty of them at their place. They just melted away, flicking the V's
    at us and looking like a total set of pussies. I saw Hamble with blood
    p!ssing from an open head wound. To be honest I was too wound up to care.

    Rod: We walked away from there with our heads held high. The Rainbow Boys would have to take notice now. Rod, Jane and Freddy had well and truly
    arrived.

    The Battle of Blue Peter

    Rod: There's been a whole heap of bullsh!t spoken about who vandalised the
    Blue Peter Garden. The truth is that place got torn up in one of the
    maddest, bloodiest children's television rucks I can ever remember.

    Jane: Blue Peter were always giving it some about how they were the best
    in the business. We were happy to let them think that. Our feeling was
    they'd got sloppy and hadn't fought anyone decent for about five years.
    Their shows always went out live, so the plan was to wait until the end of
    the live broadcast and pile in. The trouble was it didn't work out like that.

    Freddy: We'd gone over the wall and started heading towards them. It was
    Simon Groom and Janet Ellis and we could tell we'd taken them by
    surprise. Rod wades in and bang, bang, bang they both go down like a sack
    of sht. It was all a bit too easy and we couldn't work out why the camera
    crew were holding back. Then we realised, they'd been having some sort of past presenter's reunion. They all came pouring out of the studios: Noakes,
    Purves, Singleton; all ready to kick seven shades of sht out of us.

    Jane: As far as we were concerned there was only one thing to do. Stand
    our ground. Other firms would have run but we just thought, fck, this far
    and no further. It wasn't easy mind. They were tooled up with bottle tops
    from a bring and buy sale. Peter Duncan was just wading into us with a
    bicycle chain shouting, "Take that you c*nt !" I honestly didn't think
    we'd last much longer.

    Rod: Then we heard it. The best sound in the world; "Up above the streets
    and houses, Rainbow climbing high!" It was The Rainbow Boys battle cry
    the cavalry was coming. Zippy dropped the nut on Biddy Baxter and suddenly
    things were a bit more even. I swear on my mother's grave if security
    hadn't stepped in we'd have murdered the b*stards.

    Freddy: The garden was totally fcked. They covered it up and said it was
    the work of vandals. No it wasn't, it was the scene of our finest hour.
    That's brilliant too....for people of a certain age, which I am one hahaha!
  • Brilliant imagination 😜
  • Total genius writing.
    Awesome.
  • That is brilliant :smiley:
  • Absolutely fabulous 🤣
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