Years ago I had to strip wood chip paper off in the hallway. it was a right pain in the arse, so I had the bright idea to put wall paper stripping solution into a wallpaper steamer. Mrs GA was expecting and was out shopping with her mum.
So after working on Saturday morning, I went home to start the job. I put the steamer on as well as the kettle and made myself a cup of tea, as I was walking into the front room, the steamer began to boil over, so with a cup of tea in one hand, I unscrewed the cap of the steamer, which resulted in Old Faithful in the hallway, burning all of my left arm & face.
ALL I said was FUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKK which everyone in the street heard. Phoned Mrs GA and left a message for her to come home. Spent the 45 minutes waiting for her under a cold shower. When she returned she took me to Greenwich A&E, straight in, no waiting, bypassing everyone where they dressed my wounds with a very loose bandage and told me to return the next day. The following day, my arm had swollen up and I had a blister the size of a carry bag full of what looked like piss. I was off work for a couple of months and the scar isn't too bad considering, however I do have to to sun block even if I'm in the sun for 5 minutes.
Looking back I can't believe I was so stupid, just didn't think and I also know how lucky I was.
After playing football Sunday morning, I proceeded to go the house to do some work as we were renovating it. Cue me missing the joist and going through the brand new plastered kitchen ceiling catching my bollocks on the joists.
Shouted fuck this and went to the pub.
I’ve done exactly the same was around 43 years ago we had just moved in our very first house and to say it was a dump would be understatement, I went off to cricket, future wife said my handy work had made an improvement, to be fair on inspection she was right. Still living there, must be on our 5th ceiling and bathroom.
I moved out of mine and now on my second wife
Think I must have done things wrong, still in got the first house and wife😀.
After playing football Sunday morning, I proceeded to go the house to do some work as we were renovating it. Cue me missing the joist and going through the brand new plastered kitchen ceiling catching my bollocks on the joists.
Shouted fuck this and went to the pub.
I’ve done exactly the same was around 43 years ago we had just moved in our very first house and to say it was a dump would be understatement, I went off to cricket, future wife said my handy work had made an improvement, to be fair on inspection she was right. Still living there, must be on our 5th ceiling and bathroom.
I moved out of mine and now on my second wife
Think I must have done things wrong, still in got the first house and wife😀.
Wait till she goes on at you for needing an extension.
If you do a fair bit of diy you are bound to have a few rickets now and again. A few years back I was doing quite work on my house. I had completed a bathroom and was putting in a doorframe in another room. Drilling the frame fixing I went straight through the wall into the shower area knocking off a tile into the tray. Obviously not the end of the world and easily fixed just a bit frustrating and expensive. I don’t mind telling friends about my mistakes, we’ve all had a few, but telling the wife is the a very bad experience. I’d rather have root canal.
I hate DIY, I've done loads of it too and pretty much all my spare time throughout lockdown has been spent doing something I'd be much happier paying someone else to do
I'm genuinely in awe of my dads generation who would take a week off and just fit a bathroom, everything as if it was normal or when asked what they were doing at the weekend "laying a new floor" almost with glee. Dont get me wrong, I've fitted a kitchen and a bathroom, decorated countless rooms, done my share of electrical work but hated, I mean detested every second of it. Puts me in a really foul mood and makes me so resentful at how reliant we are on cheap shitty steel from China in fact everything from China, fittings, wood, slabs, tools. So much shite sold in B&Q that some poor prick like me has to fart about with and put up, hang, install, erect knowing it is shit quality high margin shite
My old man was exactly like this and so were our neighbours. They were always helping each other with fairly big projects.
It was done through necessity as we just didn’t have the money to spend on professionals.
We’re just about to have a couple of patios laid in out garden and my mate who’s in his 60’s said to me “don’t get anyone in Russ, we can do this”. I just looked at him and told him to fuck off. I’m fairly handy when it comes to general DIY & mechanics but dread to think the mess I’d make of levelling and laying patios.
Yeah I hear you, although in particular patios are something I could do without too much drama the issue will always be time and money and how I want it to look. See already I'm thinking about what I'm going to do with all the spoil/earth I'll create by digging out and levelling the ground, the cost of hiring a whacker and mixer, the recovery time for my knees and back moving, lifting, laying and levelling the slabs and then the genuine horror of being asked by someone to do them a favour and help them do theirs (do it for them as a favour for a few cans of Stella) as they saw mine and my loudmouth wife will have told everyone I did it as opposed to paying someone to come in and do it
There is a lot to be said for the pride of completing projects yourself and the money saved on labour but like with decorating, seeing my work which I think is OK up against that of a professionals always tells me to be a bit creative and make extra money to pay said professional than do it myself
I have a few 🤦🏻♂️ but 2 stand out. Back in the day when you could re wire a house without being a qualified electrician, I spent 2 weeks in between working to steadily replace all the cabling in the house. Switched it all on. Worked perfectly. Felt ridiculously proud of myself. A week or so later, I decided one newly installed socket could do with a little straightening, so I turned off the power, and set to work. Only to get 240 volts of the hot stuff when I touched the negative wire. Turned out on the final job to do I’d attached the incoming cables on the new fuse box round the wrong way. 😞 The other epic fail was when I had just fitted a new kitchen, newly tiled the floor etc done the lot. Stood back and admired my handiwork. Job done. I had bought some expanding foam to fill a small hole, and when finished, I’d just stood the canister on a work top for a moment. I then accidentally knocked it and it fell on the floor. It must have hit the floor at a funny angle, because the effing thing exploded, sending jets of expanding foam all over the new wooden doors, all over the tiles. Basically ALL OVER the new kitchen. And as I desperately tried to get the expanding shite off my precious handiwork, it just made it 10 times worse. What made the situation infinitely more ‘tense’ was that my mum was there, and as I was shouting ‘ YOU BASTARD!’ at this can of foam, she kept telling me not to swear! 😞🙄 I can honestly say I have never hated an inanimate object more than that bleeding can of expanding shitty foam.....
I’ve recently gutted my bathroom and put a new one in by myself. The tiling looks great, the new vanity unit and tap are looking good and toilet fitted like a glove, the shower went in smoothly.... but the £ucking light! Stupidly I didn’t bother to take pictures of the wiring when I took the old light out. This bastard light is on the same circuit as the extractor fan. Ive spent the best part of a day up a ladder, and tried so many combinations that’s it’s untrue. Thought I’d cracked it, turned the light on - it worked. Would it switch off? Absolutely not. Even worse I’ve managed to stop the light in my daughters bedroom from working. 3 weeks later I still have a shiny new bathroom with a temporary light running in through the door. Can’t even have a dump in peace at the moment.
This might sound stupid as you already know the fan runs AFTER you turn the light off. The fan does not need 240v to run, it has a built in capacitor that runs the fan. If you can trace the wire back to the fan, leave it disconnected, get the light working then worry about the fan.
If it's a four core cable, you will a switched live (light)and a permanent live (fan).
It is indeed a four core cable. There is an electrician down the road who could easily sort it - thing is I can’t stand him. Plus the stench I give off after being on the throne is passing Mrs Otto off - i see no need to resolve the issue.
You're passing Mrs Otto off? If she's any good at dusting and hoovering, I'll take her off your hands.
I’ve recently gutted my bathroom and put a new one in by myself. The tiling looks great, the new vanity unit and tap are looking good and toilet fitted like a glove, the shower went in smoothly.... but the £ucking light! Stupidly I didn’t bother to take pictures of the wiring when I took the old light out. This bastard light is on the same circuit as the extractor fan. Ive spent the best part of a day up a ladder, and tried so many combinations that’s it’s untrue. Thought I’d cracked it, turned the light on - it worked. Would it switch off? Absolutely not. Even worse I’ve managed to stop the light in my daughters bedroom from working. 3 weeks later I still have a shiny new bathroom with a temporary light running in through the door. Can’t even have a dump in peace at the moment.
This might sound stupid as you already know the fan runs AFTER you turn the light off. The fan does not need 240v to run, it has a built in capacitor that runs the fan. If you can trace the wire back to the fan, leave it disconnected, get the light working then worry about the fan.
If it's a four core cable, you will a switched live (light)and a permanent live (fan).
It is indeed a four core cable. There is an electrician down the road who could easily sort it - thing is I can’t stand him. Plus the stench I give off after being on the throne is passing Mrs Otto off - i see no need to resolve the issue.
You're passing Mrs Otto off? If she's any good at dusting and hoovering, I'll take her off your hands.
Unfortunately she doesn’t fall in to the category of “Domestic Goddess”. I would pass her off but I do need her to look after the kids.
My Dad had the right idea - DIY? Leave it to the professionals.
My first Father-In-Law however was a DIY nut who did EVERYTHING himself including kit cars, sailing dinghies and every possible 'upgrade' to his house. It ran in the family as his brother built a six bedroom detached house in Launceston on a greenfield site within 18 months whilst still working full time.
When we purchased out second house, it had obvious potential but required a complete renovation. Heating and hot water, rewiring, new bathroom, kitchen, windows the works. He was in heaven. 7.00am every Saturday morning he'd turn up, bright and breezy, with his car half full of tools, raring to go, with an extremely reluctant apprentice just wanting to sleep a little bit longer
Over two years the majority of the works we completed, with me hating every minute of it, completely knackered and never happy with the finished product - mainly because I'm cack handed and very, very rarely get any kind of DIY job right first time. I think my favourite expression at the time was 'doofa'.
He did however make one fatal flaw that I never let him forget. The old metal crittal windows needed replacing. "Made to measure hardwood double glazing is what you need" Ok says I and proceeded to carefully measure every window in the house three times to ensure we got our spanking new windows the correct size.
He copies down my measurements and orders the windows from 'one of my contacts' - for some reason they were from Durham. After three weeks, the new windows turn up and the main bedroom window to the front of the house is 100mm too short. On checking, he had reversed two numbers when copying down my measurements. We had to add 50mm of hardwood filler to either side of the window to ensure it fitted the opening and to this day, every time I drive passed the house I giggle to myself at what is to me an obvious cock up.
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I don’t mind telling friends about my mistakes, we’ve all had a few, but telling the wife is the a very bad experience. I’d rather have root canal.
There is a lot to be said for the pride of completing projects yourself and the money saved on labour but like with decorating, seeing my work which I think is OK up against that of a professionals always tells me to be a bit creative and make extra money to pay said professional than do it myself
Back in the day when you could re wire a house without being a qualified electrician, I spent 2 weeks in between working to steadily replace all the cabling in the house. Switched it all on. Worked perfectly. Felt ridiculously proud of myself. A week or so later, I decided one newly installed socket could do with a little straightening, so I turned off the power, and set to work. Only to get 240 volts of the hot stuff when I touched the negative wire.
Turned out on the final job to do I’d attached the incoming cables on the new fuse box round the wrong way. 😞
The other epic fail was when I had just fitted a new kitchen, newly tiled the floor etc done the lot. Stood back and admired my handiwork. Job done.
I had bought some expanding foam to fill a small hole, and when finished, I’d just stood the canister on a work top for a moment. I then accidentally knocked it and it fell on the floor.
It must have hit the floor at a funny angle, because the effing thing exploded, sending jets of expanding foam all over the new wooden doors, all over the tiles. Basically ALL OVER the new kitchen.
And as I desperately tried to get the expanding shite off my precious handiwork, it just made it 10 times worse.
What made the situation infinitely more ‘tense’ was that my mum was there, and as I was shouting ‘ YOU BASTARD!’ at this can of foam, she kept telling me not to swear! 😞🙄
I can honestly say I have never hated an inanimate object more than that bleeding can of expanding shitty foam.....
My first Father-In-Law however was a DIY nut who did EVERYTHING himself including kit cars, sailing dinghies and every possible 'upgrade' to his house. It ran in the family as his brother built a six bedroom detached house in Launceston on a greenfield site within 18 months whilst still working full time.
When we purchased out second house, it had obvious potential but required a complete renovation. Heating and hot water, rewiring, new bathroom, kitchen, windows the works. He was in heaven. 7.00am every Saturday morning he'd turn up, bright and breezy, with his car half full of tools, raring to go, with an extremely reluctant apprentice just wanting to sleep a little bit longer
Over two years the majority of the works we completed, with me hating every minute of it, completely knackered and never happy with the finished product - mainly because I'm cack handed and very, very rarely get any kind of DIY job right first time. I think my favourite expression at the time was 'doofa'.
He did however make one fatal flaw that I never let him forget. The old metal crittal windows needed replacing. "Made to measure hardwood double glazing is what you need" Ok says I and proceeded to carefully measure every window in the house three times to ensure we got our spanking new windows the correct size.
He copies down my measurements and orders the windows from 'one of my contacts' - for some reason they were from Durham. After three weeks, the new windows turn up and the main bedroom window to the front of the house is 100mm too short. On checking, he had reversed two numbers when copying down my measurements. We had to add 50mm of hardwood filler to either side of the window to ensure it fitted the opening and to this day, every time I drive passed the house I giggle to myself at what is to me an obvious cock up.