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Injuries in bed

Covered EndCovered End
edited April 2021 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
A couple of years ago I was having a nightmare and was being frightened by a crazed Ainsley Harriot.
I hit out at him and woke up with a painful hand where I had punched the bedside mini chest of drawers.

Last night I was Glen Hoddle in the 70's playing for England at Wembley.
I'd found myself in open space about 30 yards from goal.
I received a short pass and I ran forward stretching to reach the ball and hitting it first time.
A beautiful shot smashed into the top corner of the goal. Aaaarrrgghh.
I woke up having volleyed the chest of drawers underneath the bedroom window to the side of the bed.
Wow did my big toe hurt (still hurting now lol).

Comments

  • BaldybonceBaldybonce
    I often dream of Salma Hayek and think i've died and rigor mortice has set in.
  • EricBanternaEricBanterna
    I have dreamt i was playing football and leapt for a header and nutted the wall, claret everywhere and a story my mum and brother like to bring up.
  • BaldybonceBaldybonce
    DaveMehmet said:
    Collapsed rectal muscles.
    Bugger that  :/
  • CharltonKerryCharltonKerry
    Not a bad injury, but in my younger days I regularly took some great slip catches, after a vivid dream I woke up on the bedroom floor with bruised ribs and clutching the clock of the cabinet, always wondered if I took off and dived as graceful as a swallow or plummeted like a dying camel. 
  • bobmunrobobmunro
    I've managed to avoid injury - my wife uses the restraints.

    That said, I dreamed last night (true) that I had picked a fight with three spanners at London Bridge.
  • BaldybonceBaldybonce
    Just over a year ago i dropped my phone out of bed. Rolling over to reach it i tore the rotor cuff in my shoulder. Still sore now.
  • killerandflashkillerandflash
    Not an injury, but after a day visiting distilleries in Scotland I fell asleep on the train and was having this nice dream where a cat was rubbing her head against my arm

    Then I woke up and it had been the train guard letting me know we had reached the terminus!
  • DaveMehmetDaveMehmet
    Baldybonce said:
    Just over a year ago i dropped my phone out of bed. Rolling over to reach it i tore the rotor cuff in my shoulder. Still sore now.
    I’ve done mine recently, it fucking hurts. 
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  • ForeverAddicktedForeverAddickted
    I occasionally get cramp in the back of my leg especially at night which is extremely painful to try and deal with

    Only the other night it happened whilst I was recovering from a really bad back... So this cramp starts shooting down my leg (which usually results in me sitting up and trying to get out of bed to stretch it), only this time my back is stopping from sitting up properly so had to deal with the pain from both.
  • MrOneLungMrOneLung
    I once pulled a stunner 
  • Leroy AmbroseLeroy Ambrose
    bobmunro said:
    I've managed to avoid injury - my wife uses the restraints.

    That said, I dreamed last night (true) that I had picked a fight with three spanners at London Bridge.
    #niche
  • HuskarisHuskaris
    edited April 2021
    This thread wasn't what I thought it would be. It has a lot of potential though. I'll be back in a few hours. 
  • charltonbobcharltonbob
    Covered End said:
    A couple of years ago I was having a nightmare and was being frightened by a crazed Ainsley Harriot.
    I hit out at him and woke up with a painful hand where I had punched the bedside mini chest of drawers.

    Last night I was Glen Hoddle in the 70's playing for England at Wembley.
    I'd found myself in open space about 30 yards from goal.
    I received a short pass and I ran forward stretching to reach the ball and hitting it first time.
    A beautiful shot smashed into the top corner of the goal. Aaaarrrgghh.
    I woke up having volleyed the chest of drawers underneath the bedroom window to the side of the bed.
    Wow did my big toe hurt (still hurting now lol).
    So you fisted Ainsley Harriot in your dream ?  :D
  • shine166shine166
    Not with a toddler around unfortunately 
  • GoOnYouHaddocksGoOnYouHaddocks
    I had a dream where I was lying on a beach. All of a sudden the clouds started dropping out of the sky and I had to roll sideways to avoid them.

    I woke up on the bedroom floor with quite a lot of blood dripping from my chin. After a moment of panic, I found the tiniest cut imaginable and the bedside cabinet drawer-handle was broken off.
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  • AddicktedAddickted
    I got knocked out when the block and tackle broke off from the ceiling and hit me right on the bridge of my nose.
  • SoundAsa£SoundAsa£
    soapy_jones said:
    I dreamt one night that i was eating the worlds largest marshmellow.  I woke up the next morning and one of my pillows was missing...

    Spoiler alert:  Joke has been used at least three times before on CL by me, but i don't care.
    Old Tommy Cooper gag.😂
  • SoundAsa£SoundAsa£
    When I was in ICU I had some absolutely horrendous dreams, strangely I can remember them all.
  • HuskarisHuskaris
    Leroy Ambrose said:
    I used to have extremely vivid dreams, and talk and act out in my sleep. They've got far less dramatic over the years.

    I remember one - been married about three months and the wife (now ex wife) hadn't experienced any of this before. She'd hung a picture over the bed that day and it must have been on my mind, because I woke her up in the middle of the night whispering (for some reason) not to move because there was glass on her chest. Apparently I said it in such an urgent tone that she shat herself and lay there for 30 seconds before punching me awake and calling me a c***. I also once shouted out "FUCKING BARBECUE SAUCE, ON PIZZA?" totally at random, and sleepwalked out of my flat in Reigate, down the stairs and out into the communal gardens, when I 'woke up' I was standing in my pants in the middle of the grounds without a key to get back in. That was a fun 5 minutes ringing every buzzer at 3 in the morning... 
    Given both of you clearly had being such pottymouths in common, I can't imagine where it went wrong  :D
  • Leroy AmbroseLeroy Ambrose
    Huskaris said:
    Leroy Ambrose said:
    I used to have extremely vivid dreams, and talk and act out in my sleep. They've got far less dramatic over the years.

    I remember one - been married about three months and the wife (now ex wife) hadn't experienced any of this before. She'd hung a picture over the bed that day and it must have been on my mind, because I woke her up in the middle of the night whispering (for some reason) not to move because there was glass on her chest. Apparently I said it in such an urgent tone that she shat herself and lay there for 30 seconds before punching me awake and calling me a c***. I also once shouted out "FUCKING BARBECUE SAUCE, ON PIZZA?" totally at random, and sleepwalked out of my flat in Reigate, down the stairs and out into the communal gardens, when I 'woke up' I was standing in my pants in the middle of the grounds without a key to get back in. That was a fun 5 minutes ringing every buzzer at 3 in the morning... 
    Given both of you clearly had being such pottymouths in common, I can't imagine where it went wrong  :D
    Worse than that. She's Sicilian. So it was like getting verbally rinsed by a mid-level mobster. 
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