Didn’t see it personally but saw the radiographs. A full jar of pickled onions where the sun don’t shine. Hayward’s if you’re interested. Kings College Hospital
Didn’t see it personally but saw the radiographs. A full jar of pickled onions where the sun don’t shine. Hayward’s if you’re interested. Kings College Hospital
Didn’t see it personally but saw the radiographs. A full jar of pickled onions where the sun don’t shine. Hayward’s if you’re interested. Kings College Hospital
Didn’t see it personally but saw the radiographs. A full jar of pickled onions where the sun don’t shine. Hayward’s if you’re interested. Kings College Hospital
Which way up?
Surprisingly lid first.
Ah that's where they went wrong (speaking from a logical perspective rather than experience here) Upside down and you've got the lid to grip on to when it comes to removal time, although admittedly there is more of a risk of it coming off and you getting vinegar on various sensitive bits.
Work for the Ambulance Service which has resulted in me delivering 56 babies in 21 years Also allowed me to cover Charlton matches and also sit on the bench at a preseason game against Welling. I’ve done private work and been on set while of many films including Harry Potter and even had breakfast with Guy Ritchie
@cafckev I'm not going to ask about the gruesome stuff, cos that's not really fair, but what is the daftest accident someone's had that you've been called out to?
Didn’t see it personally but saw the radiographs. A full jar of pickled onions where the sun don’t shine. Hayward’s if you’re interested. Kings College Hospital
Which way up?
Surprisingly lid first.
Ah that's where they went wrong (speaking from a logical perspective rather than experience here) Upside down and you've got the lid to grip on to when it comes to removal time, although admittedly there is more of a risk of it coming off and you getting vinegar on various sensitive bits.
Maybe the patient was trying to get the lid off the jar, using their sphincta, when the accident occured?
Rarely boring being a radiographer. You certainly see both the best and worst of people under very often quite difficult circumstances. All of human life is here. I never get tired of seeing just what people ( both sexes) are prepared to shove up or insert and then can’t remove. Not a common occurrence but not that rare either.
Absolutely SHG, batteries, razors, needles, ball-point pens, sex toys, aerosol cans, inserted or ingested.
I recall a person who attended A&E with two pairs of scissors pushed through their forearm and out the other side. Whilst chatting to them, I burst out laughing when the medic came and told me that they needed to send him for an x-ray. I commented that we could see what was stuck in his arm FFS. Clearly they needed to check on any damage or risks of removing etc, but even the patient laughed when they saw the funny side.
The self injury stuff I've seen over the years would make a Tarantino/ Stallone/ Bruce Willis film, look like Sesame Street. Seeing over 100 sutures is not out of the ordinary.
I also remember a Christmas Day some years ago, when a patient who was a trained hypnotist, attempted to hypnotise me, during an assessment. At the point of him saying "you are feeling very sleepy" again I burst out laughing, and retorted "too bloody right mate, it's 4:30 in the morning!"
@cafckev I'm not going to ask about the gruesome stuff, cos that's not really fair, but what is the daftest accident someone's had that you've been called out to?
Accidents - I’d say it was actually my crewmate who was going out to the Ambulance for some kit and as he was walking out the door, put his foot in a fishing keep net in the lobby and fell out the front door, fell down 12 steps and broke his leg the day before he was due to fly off on holiday which he had to cancel The stupidest call was to go and clean someone’s house because his cleaner was in hospital so he felt it was our job in her place!
Didn’t see it personally but saw the radiographs. A full jar of pickled onions where the sun don’t shine. Hayward’s if you’re interested. Kings College Hospital
Which way up?
Surprisingly lid first.
Ah that's where they went wrong (speaking from a logical perspective rather than experience here) Upside down and you've got the lid to grip on to when it comes to removal time, although admittedly there is more of a risk of it coming off and you getting vinegar on various sensitive bits.
I think if someone is going to the lengths of sticking a fat jar up their arse it’s very unlikely the they’d abandon ship on the possibility of a lightly pickled gooch.
@cafckev I'm not going to ask about the
gruesome stuff, cos that's not really fair, but what is the daftest
accident someone's had that you've been called out to?
Accidents - I’d say it was actually my crewmate who was going out to the
Ambulance for some kit and as he was walking out the door, put his foot
in a fishing keep net in the lobby and fell out the front door, fell
down 12 steps and broke his leg the day before he was due to fly off on
holiday which he had to cancel The stupidest call was to go and clean
someone’s house because his cleaner was in hospital so he felt it was
our job in her place!
The veterinary industry as a whole has been through the ringer recently. Brexit causing mass supply drop in veterinary surgeons and nurses not earning enough so they quit the profession when furloughed. Then put the massive boom in new puppy owners and supply is nowhere near demand.
Actually working as a nurse in the profession is the ultimate range of emotions over a short period of time.
The one story I’ll give you all is this. It’s a bit long but bare with me.
Working for a corporate company gave me a good entry to achieve Registered Veterinary Nurse status. The only downside was we worked full time 43 hours a week which included an 8 hour day at our college which was based in North London.
One day in December 2017 I drove to college, leaving Bexley at 9am. Upon finishing college at 7pm I receive a phone call. I am on call and required to go straight to my regions out of hours hospital in the Bexley area. When I arrived I was informed the night nurse had gone home sick and as I was on call it was my responsibility to cover the full night.
To shorten it down. The night started with 18 inpatients requiring medications, walks, litter changes, fluid therapy set up etc. Then the first emergency arrives; a 12 year old Doberman with suspected gastric dilation and volvulus (stomach twist/bloat). The owner did not want to put him through surgery so euthanised. Shortly after, a young cat that had been hit by a car. Fortunately she was microchipped and after balancing screaming inpatients, phone calls and a grieving family, I managed to track down the owner and she agreed to treatment for a few leg fractures. Then finally at 4am things were settling down and as I’m about to tuck into my pot noodle the phone goes. “So my french bulldog has been in labour for 18 hours and contracting for the last 6 hours”. Obviously at 4am there are a lot of things I want to say but told her to come straight down.
It gets to 9am on the Wednesday. A full 24 hours after I left the house. 9 french bulldogs born via Caesarian later. I am dead.
Oh and I bumped into someone last year, who's directs porn movies. And no, I wasn't offered a part
I know a guy who got a job filming porn movies. He was really excited about the job before he started and quit after 2 weeks. When I asked why he quit he simply replied "when you watch porn, you can't smell porn!"
I was once told i should be a porn actor by a gay man who gave me a lift whilst I was hitch hiking.
I was once told I shouldn't be a porn actor. It was all going well in the audition till I dropped me under crackers, when the director started shouted "cut cut cut" and asked me to leave.
Didn’t see it personally but saw the radiographs. A full jar of pickled onions where the sun don’t shine. Hayward’s if you’re interested. Kings College Hospital
I’m partial to a pickled onion, but have a feeling I won’t be able to open a jar up now without thinking of this.
Didn’t see it personally but saw the radiographs. A full jar of pickled onions where the sun don’t shine. Hayward’s if you’re interested. Kings College Hospital
I’m partial to a pickled onion, but have a feeling I won’t be able to open a jar up now without thinking of this.
Didn’t see it personally but saw the radiographs. A full jar of pickled onions where the sun don’t shine. Hayward’s if you’re interested. Kings College Hospital
I’m partial to a pickled onion, but have a feeling I won’t be able to open a jar up now without thinking of this.
Oh and I bumped into someone last year, who's directs porn movies. And no, I wasn't offered a part
I know a guy who got a job filming porn movies. He was really excited about the job before he started and quit after 2 weeks. When I asked why he quit he simply replied "when you watch porn, you can't smell porn!"
I was once told i should be a porn actor by a gay man who gave me a lift whilst I was hitch hiking.
Strangely I was offered work as a male escort, by a bloke that ran an agency. I'm 5' 5" and 9st. Not exactly 50 Shades or Pride and Prejudice material, but I guess women paying for 'fun' may not be any more fussy that men......wait a minute!
On the job front, I work in acute mental health assessment/treatment. I can honestly say that my job is rarely boring. I've been threatened (more times than I can count, this year alone) spat at, strangled, attempted stabbing, even had someone try to hypnotise me. Sat in countless homes, hospitals, police stations, police cars, train stations, ambulances, assessing life's troubled souls.
This last year has been very surreal. Most of the world are trying to protect their lives, whilst a portion of others (as always) are intent on the opposite.
OP was wanting insight into some of the 'out there' jobs, well in my view, mine is up there as a relentless assault on the senses.
It's hard to stay grounded when your benchmark for health and wellbeing is the, at all times disturbed, and occasionally, insane.
Sadly my years in this work has affected my sensitivity to those near and dear to me, as I can be quite cold and dismissive of what I view as minor troubles. It pains me to say that I've not always been respectful.
So often I am told, "I couldn't do your job", even by health professional colleagues, but it's just a job, like anyone elses, but one I see as a privilege
I am in the same line of work as @cafckev (indeed worked at the same station in my formative ambulance years).
Frontline ambulance work is a strange thing. You do some gross and strange things. Will gloss over the messy stuff but will provide a few anonymised stories:
1. I once had to deal with someone who thought they had been stung by a jellyfish. They were nowhere near any water. Eventually came to the conclusion they were ‘allergic’ to WiFi. That kicked in when they entered a particular platform at a mainline London train station. My plan was to tell them to get off the train one stop early and see if that helped. Patient seemed happy. My crewmate left the ambulance because she couldn’t stop laughing.
2. one morning I was called to a bus with two patients passed out on it. Woke up two youngish people. Got them on the ambulance and they were clearly off their face on a lot of drugs. Not that unusual but one of them refused to give their name and stormed off. I was standing outside the vehicle a few minutes later when they came back and tried to fight me. A little fracas ensued and the woman with them dragged them off. My Crewmate revealed that the idiot was a quite well known actor on a Netflix show (I don’t watch it and had no idea who they were). My family watch it and I refuse as they are clearly a dick. I am just waiting for them to win an Oscar so I can sell my story.
3. final one. We were carrying a large gent out to the ambulance when crewmate let out a loud fart. Patient said ‘I heard that’ cue a lot of laughter. For some reason we all ended up laughing loads at this and this led to me dropping them as we came out the front door. Ended up lying on the ground with 18 stone of cardiac patient on top of me with us all laughing (including the patient). Bloke was so heavy we had to get a neighbour to help pull the chair off of me. Laughing all the way. Proves that laughter is the best medicine as they ended up not having a heart attack after all.
I used to work in recruitment ..that in itself isn't that unusual but could write a book about incidents that involved people losing their jobs .did this for nigh on 40 years, expect @bobmunro has some beauties.
Vetting temp staff is quite onerous these days..back in the day it wasn't ( not that the former prevents human weaknesses)
My client an Italian Bank phoned me to explain that they would have to let a temp go.
The story unfolds The General manager goes into Hr and complains that he has discovered what looks like ,let's call it DNA on this marvellous upmarket leather Chesterfield..it definitely wasn't wallpaper paste ( no decorating going on )
Everybody seems clueless about sofagate. However tongues start to wag about 2 temps in the back office..One we nicknamed brutus after the popeye cartoon and the other dodgy minces ( as she had a squint..yes I know its unkind) .
CCTV emerges of them entering GMs office at 5.30 in the evening and after a bit of nervous fidgeting they admit to being the culprits...they asked for previous offences to be taken into consideration.
The GM didn't didn't actually object to them rutting in his office..he didn't ask the girl to leave but let the bloke go as he was so outraged at the thought of him defiling his precious sofa with bodily fluids
I was a bit of a bully at school - in the changing rooms after PE, we used to wait until the weaker kids were getting in the showers, twist our towels up and flick them with them - I thought it was great fun.
Unfortunately, one day I got caught, and that was the end of my teaching career.
Oh and I bumped into someone last year, who's directs porn movies. And no, I wasn't offered a part
I know a guy who got a job filming porn movies. He was really excited about the job before he started and quit after 2 weeks. When I asked why he quit he simply replied "when you watch porn, you can't smell porn!"
I was once told i should be a porn actor by a gay man who gave me a lift whilst I was hitch hiking.
Strangely I was offered work as a male escort, by a bloke that ran an agency. I'm 5' 5" and 9st. Not exactly 50 Shades or Pride and Prejudice material, but I guess women paying for 'fun' may not be any more fussy that men......wait a minute!
On the job front, I work in acute mental health assessment/treatment. I can honestly say that my job is rarely boring. I've been threatened (more times than I can count, this year alone) spat at, strangled, attempted stabbing, even had someone try to hypnotise me. Sat in countless homes, hospitals, police stations, police cars, train stations, ambulances, assessing life's troubled souls.
This last year has been very surreal. Most of the world are trying to protect their lives, whilst a portion of others (as always) are intent on the opposite.
OP was wanting insight into some of the 'out there' jobs, well in my view, mine is up there as a relentless assault on the senses.
It's hard to stay grounded when your benchmark for health and wellbeing is the, at all times disturbed, and occasionally, insane.
Sadly my years in this work has affected my sensitivity to those near and dear to me, as I can be quite cold and dismissive of what I view as minor troubles. It pains me to say that I've not always been respectful.
So often I am told, "I couldn't do your job", even by health professional colleagues, but it's just a job, like anyone elses, but one I see as a privilege
Probably because you are 5’5 and 9 stone 😂
Lol, actually my intimidating physical form has been a benefit in many challenging situations as people don't tent to want to fight a small person.
I was working in a secure facility over 20 years ago, when I'd been allocated 1-1 duties with a lad for the entire 12 hours day shift. It'd been an ordeal as the lad was due in court next day and the likelihood of him going on a diet of porridge was extremely high. The 6' 3" streak of piss had been verbally abusing me all day long saying things like, " I know where you live", "I'm gonna come round you're house and burn your house down with you and you're kids in it", "I'm gonna fucking do you", basically anything to get a rise (he didn't know me from Adam). I kept things under control for the shift and handed over to the night worker, who sadly would have more of the same, but no more, or so I hoped. As it happens night worker was more than a physical match for the lad in stature, but with the lad having a 'what have I got to lose' attitude, he had continued to push with his behaviour, and an altercation occured whereby the worker was stabbed in the eye with a ball-point pen, losing his eye in the process. I never forget that incident as despite my own safe return home, the next worker wasn't so lucky. That's the way I see it, much of our fate in these situations, involves skill, tenacity, but most importantly, luck.
I did some years in the army and although some of the stories would not be believable & mostly involving alcohol and out of uniform. However, during this period, I did 3 weeks as a fire fighter in the suburbs of Edinburgh over Xmas and new year during the fire fighters strike, it was an absolute blast. The Edinburgh police escorted us everywhere and gawd did they like a good time. We were camped in an old scouts hut and Christmas Day they turned up with strippers for us in between starters main meal & pudding we were given a live show and 1 lucky squaddie, not me, got lucky. It was 24 hrs on call 24 hours rest being taken to shadowy places by our new mates in the Police. Great times as a young man and we even got to put out a few fires, ironically the 1st one was a chimney fire, an old lady who’s son was a striking fireman, unfortunately we unintentionally made a mess of her front room carpet. We learnt on each call out as our training was a mere 2 hours long hours on how to roll the hoses out, turn the pumps on etc… upon arriving & taking over from lads already there. Ended up in hospital after one call, we went to a barn that was alight and I was tasked to get the cattle out, bloody cows decided to stampede & who can blame them, I was knocked over and overcome by smoke, could have been very nasty but back on duty the next morning. Great three 3 weeks of my life, cherished memories. Revisited the place 12 months later as one of our lads met a local lass in the Bonnyrigg miners club and ended up marrying her.
Those Green Goddesses were bloody dangerous our driver nearly rolled it over on one callout, having only a 1/2 full tank was treacherous. Made me realise how good & professional fire fighters are.
Other than that I did door to door delivery of raffle/lottery tickets throughout Welling for Bexley United mid 70’s as a teenager prior to them folding and Welling Utd moving into Park View road.
I was a bit of a bully at school - in the changing rooms after PE, we used to wait until the weaker kids were getting in the showers, twist our towels up and flick them with them - I thought it was great fun.
Unfortunately, one day I got caught, and that was the end of my teaching career.
I did some years in the army and although some of the stories would not be believable & mostly involving alcohol and out of uniform. However, during this period, I did 3 weeks as a fire fighter in the suburbs of Edinburgh over Xmas and new year during the fire fighters strike, it was an absolute blast. The Edinburgh police escorted us everywhere and gawd did they like a good time. We were camped in an old scouts hut and Christmas Day they turned up with strippers for us in between starters main meal & pudding we were given a live show and 1 lucky squaddie, not me, got lucky. It was 24 hrs on call 24 hours rest being taken to shadowy places by our new mates in the Police. Great times as a young man and we even got to put out a few fires, ironically the 1st one was a chimney fire, an old lady who’s son was a striking fireman, unfortunately we unintentionally made a mess of her front room carpet. We learnt on each call out as our training was a mere 2 hours long hours on how to roll the hoses out, turn the pumps on etc… upon arriving & taking over from lads already there. Ended up in hospital after one call, we went to a barn that was alight and I was tasked to get the cattle out, bloody cows decided to stampede & who can blame them, I was knocked over and overcome by smoke, could have been very nasty but back on duty the next morning. Great three 3 weeks of my life, cherished memories. Revisited the place 12 months later as one of our lads met a local lass in the Bonnyrigg miners club and ended up marrying her.
Those Green Goddesses were bloody dangerous our driver nearly rolled it over on one callout, having only a 1/2 full tank was treacherous. Made me realise how good & professional fire fighters are.
Other than that I did door to door delivery of raffle/lottery tickets throughout Welling for Bexley United mid 70’s as a teenager prior to them folding and Welling Utd moving into Park View road.
I recall doing a few calls with the army covering the firefighters. One was in a tower block in plumstead on the 8th floor. They weren’t sure how to use the risers, so run the hoses up the stairwell. By the time the water reached the top, it was like a garden hose although you got abs soaked at the bottom as the hose had so many holes in, it was like having a shower!
I also do cover at the Royal International Air Tattoo and as volunteers, after the last day, we are given a thank you hanger party. My first year, I saw a yank so plastered he couldn’t stand up (in fact I have never seen anyone so drunk in my life). I was speaking so another American who told me that believe it or not he was a Major in the USAF was was due to fly the largest aircraft at 5he show back to the US in 5 hours time. They weren’t worried though because all they would do was give him some oxygen before he was due to start the engines, and he’d be ok!
Right most stuff I have been to is not that nice or probably not that interesting, but just before 10pm last night we were called to a pub in the next village over. A 40 year old woman who had taken on considerable refreshment had got herself stuck in a highchair.
Comments
Also allowed me to cover Charlton matches and also sit on the bench at a preseason game against Welling.
I’ve done private work and been on set while of many films including Harry Potter and even had breakfast with Guy Ritchie
I recall a person who attended A&E with two pairs of scissors pushed through their forearm and out the other side. Whilst chatting to them, I burst out laughing when the medic came and told me that they needed to send him for an x-ray. I commented that we could see what was stuck in his arm FFS. Clearly they needed to check on any damage or risks of removing etc, but even the patient laughed when they saw the funny side.
The self injury stuff I've seen over the years would make a Tarantino/ Stallone/ Bruce Willis film, look like Sesame Street. Seeing over 100 sutures is not out of the ordinary.
I also remember a Christmas Day some years ago, when a patient who was a trained hypnotist, attempted to hypnotise me, during an assessment. At the point of him saying "you are feeling very sleepy" again I burst out laughing, and retorted "too bloody right mate, it's 4:30 in the morning!"
The stupidest call was to go and clean someone’s house because his cleaner was in hospital so he felt it was our job in her place!
*edit seen same gag came just before me.
I’m sure you’ve witnessed a few fights between neighbours at appeal meetings which might make more interesting reading.
1. I once had to deal with someone who thought they had been stung by a jellyfish. They were nowhere near any water. Eventually came to the conclusion they were ‘allergic’ to WiFi. That kicked in when they entered a particular platform at a mainline London train station. My plan was to tell them to get off the train one stop early and see if that helped. Patient seemed happy. My crewmate left the ambulance because she couldn’t stop laughing.
2. one morning I was called to a bus with two patients passed out on it. Woke up two youngish people. Got them on the ambulance and they were clearly off their face on a lot of drugs. Not that unusual but one of them refused to give their name and stormed off. I was standing outside the vehicle a few minutes later when they came back and tried to fight me. A little fracas ensued and the woman with them dragged them off. My Crewmate revealed that the idiot was a quite well known actor on a Netflix show (I don’t watch it and had no idea who they were). My family watch it and I refuse as they are clearly a dick. I am just waiting for them to win an Oscar so I can sell my story.
3. final one. We were carrying a large gent out to the ambulance when crewmate let out a loud fart. Patient said ‘I heard that’ cue a lot of laughter. For some reason we all ended up laughing loads at this and this led to me dropping them as we came out the front door. Ended up lying on the ground with 18 stone of cardiac patient on top of me with us all
laughing (including the patient). Bloke was so heavy we had to get a neighbour to help pull the chair off of me. Laughing all the way. Proves that laughter is the best medicine as they ended up not having a heart attack after all.
Vetting temp staff is quite onerous these days..back in the day it wasn't ( not that the former prevents human weaknesses)
My client an Italian Bank phoned me to explain that they would have to let a temp go.
The story unfolds
The General manager goes into Hr and complains that he has discovered what looks like ,let's call it DNA on this marvellous upmarket leather Chesterfield..it definitely wasn't wallpaper paste ( no decorating going on )
Everybody seems clueless about sofagate.
However tongues start to wag about 2 temps in the back office..One we nicknamed brutus after the popeye cartoon and the other dodgy minces ( as she had a squint..yes I know its unkind) .
CCTV emerges of them entering GMs office at 5.30 in the evening and after a bit of nervous fidgeting they admit to being the culprits...they asked for previous offences to be taken into consideration.
The GM didn't didn't actually object to them rutting in his office..he didn't ask the girl to leave but let the bloke go as he was so outraged at the thought of him defiling his precious sofa with bodily fluids
This is a true story
Ex-spy.
Unfortunately, one day I got caught, and that was the end of my teaching career.
I was working in a secure facility over 20 years ago, when I'd been allocated 1-1 duties with a lad for the entire 12 hours day shift. It'd been an ordeal as the lad was due in court next day and the likelihood of him going on a diet of porridge was extremely high. The 6' 3" streak of piss had been verbally abusing me all day long saying things like, " I know where you live", "I'm gonna come round you're house and burn your house down with you and you're kids in it", "I'm gonna fucking do you", basically anything to get a rise (he didn't know me from Adam). I kept things under control for the shift and handed over to the night worker, who sadly would have more of the same, but no more, or so I hoped. As it happens night worker was more than a physical match for the lad in stature, but with the lad having a 'what have I got to lose' attitude, he had continued to push with his behaviour, and an altercation occured whereby the worker was stabbed in the eye with a ball-point pen, losing his eye in the process. I never forget that incident as despite my own safe return home, the next worker wasn't so lucky. That's the way I see it, much of our fate in these situations, involves skill, tenacity, but most importantly, luck.
Other than that I did door to door delivery of raffle/lottery tickets throughout Welling for Bexley United mid 70’s as a teenager prior to them folding and Welling Utd moving into Park View road.
I personally cant see any veterinary practices taking me on now.
I also do cover at the Royal International Air Tattoo and as volunteers, after the last day, we are given a thank you hanger party. My first year, I saw a yank so plastered he couldn’t stand up (in fact I have never seen anyone so drunk in my life). I was speaking so another American who told me that believe it or not he was a Major in the USAF was was due to fly the largest aircraft at 5he show back to the US in 5 hours time. They weren’t worried though because all they would do was give him some oxygen before he was due to start the engines, and he’d be ok!
It made us laugh.