In a hospital serving victims of land mines, a little girl wakes up from surgery.
Little Girl: Doctor, something is wrong... I can't feel my legs!
Doctor: Yes, we've had to amputate both your arms.
------------------
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
--------------------
I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me...
Oi whats your disability?
I said "Tourettes! now fuck off you cunt!"
------------------------
Just been to my first Al Qaeda birthday party.
The musical chairs was a bit slow but
fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!!!
-------------------------
Doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains.
That's the least of your troubles, you've got cancer.
---------------------------
Why are Chavs like Slinkies?
They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of stairs.
0