Good evening everyone,
It has been a while since i have posted on here, but i have been keeping up to date on most chats on here.
This week just passed our beautiful son BEN JAY should have turned 18 (but will forever be 17). We released loads of balloons for him to read all of the messages up there.
We are lucky enough to have places to go to lay flowers in memory of him. We have the memorial garden at the Valley, a plaque in the peace garden at Charlton house (where Sharon works) & the goalkeeping sign at Long Lane fc where Ben did most of his goalkeepers training.
Jean Huelin kindly organised some butterfly larvae so that we could watch them grow into beautiful peacock butterflies & released them in our own peace garden on his birthday.
We are always eternally grateful for the memories you helped us create for him up until the end & in his place i have been attending as many games as i can, only missing Cambridge at home & Sheff Weds & Fleetwood away. It has not been pretty lol but will still keep going in his honour.
Thank you all again,
Much love
Garry & Sharon
Comments
So sad Ben was taken so young.
Take care.
What a lovely way to remember/celebrate.
Thank you so much for sharing how your family & friends were able to mark the special day of "our" Ben's 18th Birthday.
As always, you have done him proud and have the memories & beautiful photos to commemorate that day.
Just a brief word about the butterfly larvae which I saw advertised for free by a breeder local to me in Tunbridge Wells.
At the end of last season, we were privileged to be invited to attend a small family service at The Valley Memorial Garden, conducted by Matt Baker and were able to drink a toast to Ben afterwards, together with Tracey. It was then that Sharon mentioned that whenever she sees a butterfly, she knows that her beloved son is near, which was very poignant and something I won't forget.
This conversation popped into my mind when I saw the piece on a local site and I immediately emailed Garry & Sharon to ask if they'd be interested in helping to "launch" the final batch of larvae for 2022 and the response was a resounding yes.
Andy Harper kindly arranged the delivery of 20 Peacock butterfly larvae to SE London together with a detailed fact sheet & his email address for contact should there be any questions. I'm sure that this lovely guy won't mind me forwarding his thoughts when I first made contact ...something which I'll long remember .
He wrote that he lost his best friend when they were both 18 & he kept in touch with the lad's parents, remembering his sadness at everything they went through. He continued " Nothing is more precious than life itself. When I was a young boy I remember grappling with the thought of mortality & one day losing a loved one or indeed, dying myself. The one thing that helped me understand life & deal with that concern was butterflies. For me it puts life & the cycle it takes in its simplest & most beautiful perspective. It brought a calmness & faith into my life & the people I loved around me that we are all part of nature, the circle of life if you will, and it's nothing to be afraid of. To this day, I stand by the same faith ".
Garry shared that 20 beautiful butterflies were set free next to Ben's Memorial Garden at the school where he works and lots of the children in the playground there were able to watch this amazing sight. He and Sharon are keen to be involved again next Spring when Andy will have lots more larvae to donate to the community.
Please forgive me for hijacking this thread, Garry, but I felt that an explanation around the butterflies would be of great interest to all our fantastic Lifers who will always have Ben in their hearts.
And that Andy's words might resonate with others in their time of loss.
Take care, dear friends.