Not the worst flight but interesting. My previous post's described some of my helicopter flights in the North sea. I was flying back to Sumburgh in the Shetlands after some time on a oil platform way up in the north sea. The journey in the Sikorsky 61 helicopter usually took about one and a half hours. We were about half way when the pilot announced through our head phones to me and my fellow 19 passengers that we would be taking a short diversion. Soon we saw below a Russian war ship being refueled by a smaller boat. Our helicopter descended alongside and circled the ships. We all crammed to the helicopters windows to get a better view as the ships crew looked on. The deck hands all stopped their tasks staring at us as we circled. After several circuits we ascended and continued on our way. The pilot announced that a Nato exercise was being carried out in the area and the Russian ships were shadowing and "We like to show them that we know they are there". Interesting diversion.
Think my poor wife's experience last 24hrs has been up there for biggest shambles.
She's been in Dallas for work but there was no direct flights available for the return so she had to go via JFK at NY on the way back.
Fort Worth to JFK was on a 737, in a 3-3 seating formation and was only supposed to be a 3hr flight but she has a 1hr connection and then she was flying back business.
So at FW, she boards. Sitting on the aisle seat of 3. Middle seat empty. Plane was waiting for one passenger, the one sitting next to her. She eventually turns up. In my wife's words 'f*ck me, I've never seen any woman so f*cking huge!'. She just about managed to wedge herself in that middle seat but she was half hanging over my wife's seat. Cant complain, cant move seats as plane is full, suck it up, its only 3hrs.
Plane gets delayed 45 mins for 'no reason given'. They eventually take off. Its was about 11:30pm uk time when I last spoke to her last night but it was already clear it was touch and go to make the connection.
I wake up at 4am to see a message to say the weather is biblical in NY so they circled for ages and ended up being diverted to Buffalo, 75 mins away to refuel. A 3hr flight had become 8hrs. With a fat American woman half sitting on her.
Mrs D eventually lands at JFK around 1am local time. Missed her connecting flight by 4hrs or so.
Now bearing in mind on a 3hr internal flight there are no food/drinks. Terminal 8 at JFK at 1am is a ghost town until 5am earliest.
By a miracle, she managed to get the last seat on a plane for 9:30am local time so she gets back to Heathrow at 10pm tonight but she's flying economy otherwise she would have been getting back Tuesday morning.
American Airlines customer services have been next to useless and have fucked over 150 people on her flight who all missed connections. Mrs D has been one of the luckier ones. But no food or water available for best part of 12hrs is ridiculous.
Think my poor wife's experience last 24hrs has been up there for biggest shambles.
She's been in Dallas for work but there was no direct flights available for the return so she had to go via JFK at NY on the way back.
Fort Worth to JFK was on a 737, in a 3-3 seating formation and was only supposed to be a 3hr flight but she has a 1hr connection and then she was flying back business.
So at FW, she boards. Sitting on the aisle seat of 3. Middle seat empty. Plane was waiting for one passenger, the one sitting next to her. She eventually turns up. In my wife's words 'f*ck me, I've never seen any woman so f*cking huge!'. She just about managed to wedge herself in that middle seat but she was half hanging over my wife's seat. Cant complain, cant move seats as plane is full, suck it up, its only 3hrs.
Plane gets delayed 45 mins for 'no reason given'. They eventually take off. Its was about 11:30pm uk time when I last spoke to her last night but it was already clear it was touch and go to make the connection.
I wake up at 4am to see a message to say the weather is biblical in NY so they circled for ages and ended up being diverted to Buffalo, 75 mins away to refuel. A 3hr flight had become 8hrs. With a fat American woman half sitting on her.
Mrs D eventually lands at JFK around 1am local time. Missed her connecting flight by 4hrs or so.
Now bearing in mind on a 3hr internal flight there are no food/drinks. Terminal 8 at JFK at 1am is a ghost town until 5am earliest.
By a miracle, she managed to get the last seat on a plane for 9:30am local time so she gets back to Heathrow at 10pm tonight but she's flying economy otherwise she would have been getting back Monday morning.
American Airlines customer services have been next to useless and have fucked over 150 people on her flight who all missed connections. Mrs D has been one of the luckier ones. But no food or water available for best part of 12hrs is ridiculous.
That's absolutely horrendous. The stress of trying to get a connection on flights in the US is horrible, from personal experience. But, add that to the cramped conditions, the weather and then landing at the wrong airport, it must have been terrible.
The poor thing then having to wait hours for something to eat and then being effectively downgraded for the last chunk of the journey. Make sure you get everything you can in terms of compensation from American.
But, also make sure you've got plenty of food in, because it would be terrible if she hasn't got everything she needs to cook your dinner when she gets in tonight.
Think my poor wife's experience last 24hrs has been up there for biggest shambles.
She's been in Dallas for work but there was no direct flights available for the return so she had to go via JFK at NY on the way back.
Fort Worth to JFK was on a 737, in a 3-3 seating formation and was only supposed to be a 3hr flight but she has a 1hr connection and then she was flying back business.
So at FW, she boards. Sitting on the aisle seat of 3. Middle seat empty. Plane was waiting for one passenger, the one sitting next to her. She eventually turns up. In my wife's words 'f*ck me, I've never seen any woman so f*cking huge!'. She just about managed to wedge herself in that middle seat but she was half hanging over my wife's seat. Cant complain, cant move seats as plane is full, suck it up, its only 3hrs.
Plane gets delayed 45 mins for 'no reason given'. They eventually take off. Its was about 11:30pm uk time when I last spoke to her last night but it was already clear it was touch and go to make the connection.
I wake up at 4am to see a message to say the weather is biblical in NY so they circled for ages and ended up being diverted to Buffalo, 75 mins away to refuel. A 3hr flight had become 8hrs. With a fat American woman half sitting on her.
Mrs D eventually lands at JFK around 1am local time. Missed her connecting flight by 4hrs or so.
Now bearing in mind on a 3hr internal flight there are no food/drinks. Terminal 8 at JFK at 1am is a ghost town until 5am earliest.
By a miracle, she managed to get the last seat on a plane for 9:30am local time so she gets back to Heathrow at 10pm tonight but she's flying economy otherwise she would have been getting back Monday morning.
American Airlines customer services have been next to useless and have fucked over 150 people on her flight who all missed connections. Mrs D has been one of the luckier ones. But no food or water available for best part of 12hrs is ridiculous.
That's absolutely horrendous. The stress of trying to get a connection on flights in the US is horrible, from personal experience. But, add that to the cramped conditions, the weather and then landing at the wrong airport, it must have been terrible.
The poor thing then having to wait hours for something to eat and then being effectively downgraded for the last chunk of the journey. Make sure you get everything you can in terms of compensation from American.
But, also make sure you've got plenty of food in, because it would be terrible if she hasn't got everything she needs to cook your dinner when she gets in tonight.
haha 'oh glad you're home princess, put the kettle on now will you!' I'd better book my ambulance now.
Ah, you've enjoyed the unique experience of Balkan Bulgarian Airlines Did they still have the smoking zone on, er, the right hand side of the plane..the whole plane...? I always regarded those Tupolev 154's with trepidation but some pilots on theat forum argued that they were basically solid and rugged planes and if they fell out of the sky it was usually down to maintenance in Soviet Russia. I was still very happy to find in 1991 that I was on one of the first flights of their brand new Airbus 319, rebranded Balkan Air, no smoking at all, if I recall, and all the crew generally showing off like they were driving a flash Merc cabriolet down the Kings Road.
Flew with them back in 1993 to Plovdiv lovely stewardesses.
Ah, you've enjoyed the unique experience of Balkan Bulgarian Airlines Did they still have the smoking zone on, er, the right hand side of the plane..the whole plane...? I always regarded those Tupolev 154's with trepidation but some pilots on theat forum argued that they were basically solid and rugged planes and if they fell out of the sky it was usually down to maintenance in Soviet Russia. I was still very happy to find in 1991 that I was on one of the first flights of their brand new Airbus 319, rebranded Balkan Air, no smoking at all, if I recall, and all the crew generally showing off like they were driving a flash Merc cabriolet down the Kings Road.
Flew with them back in 1993 to Plovdiv lovely stewardesses.
Plovdiv. Sounds like the new Spurs manager in waiting!
Ah, you've enjoyed the unique experience of Balkan Bulgarian Airlines Did they still have the smoking zone on, er, the right hand side of the plane..the whole plane...? I always regarded those Tupolev 154's with trepidation but some pilots on theat forum argued that they were basically solid and rugged planes and if they fell out of the sky it was usually down to maintenance in Soviet Russia. I was still very happy to find in 1991 that I was on one of the first flights of their brand new Airbus 319, rebranded Balkan Air, no smoking at all, if I recall, and all the crew generally showing off like they were driving a flash Merc cabriolet down the Kings Road.
Flew with them back in 1993 to Plovdiv lovely stewardesses.
Plovdiv. Sounds like the new Spurs manager in waiting!
Ah, you've enjoyed the unique experience of Balkan Bulgarian Airlines Did they still have the smoking zone on, er, the right hand side of the plane..the whole plane...? I always regarded those Tupolev 154's with trepidation but some pilots on theat forum argued that they were basically solid and rugged planes and if they fell out of the sky it was usually down to maintenance in Soviet Russia. I was still very happy to find in 1991 that I was on one of the first flights of their brand new Airbus 319, rebranded Balkan Air, no smoking at all, if I recall, and all the crew generally showing off like they were driving a flash Merc cabriolet down the Kings Road.
Flew with them back in 1993 to Plovdiv lovely stewardesses.
Plovdiv. Sounds like the new Spurs manager in waiting!
We went skiing there.
Going downhill quickly?
Still sounds like the new Spurs manager in waiting.
Seeing this thread pop up, I can tell the recent tale of my mate who as a global CEO of a company you’ve never heard of, flies around a lot from his Scandi base. We have a running banter about how he is burning the planet with flights when he could get it all done on Teams.
Thought karma finally had him last month. He texted me that his direct flight from Copenhagen to Toronto had been cancelled so he had been re-routed via…..San Francisco.
Of course for banter purposes he claims it was all fine beause they put him in First, and he got a huge haul of flyer points. And it’s true he’s one of the lucky few he easily sleep well on a plane.
But I’m seeing him next month and he ain’t getting off that lightly.😉
flying back from oz via shanghai, on the flight from sydney to shanghai some of the worst consistent turbulence, about 2-3 hours of feeling like i was on a country road with no suspension, some how didn't lose my mind - Experiencing that knowing you have another 8-9 hours to go is a form of torture.
On the flight out we hit a pocket of turbulence over mongolia that for a few seconds made us go at about 45 degrees and feel like we were falling out of the sky, only time i've heard screams on a flight - my only thought was "huh, now i'm going to find out what it's like to die in a plane crash". Since then my fear of flying has got a lot better.
She did thanks, just gone 1am this morning. 38hrs travelling time. She's flown London to Sydney in less time that that. JFK to LHR was delayed by 90 mins. 11 booked on the plane didn't turn up. 23 bags had to be removed on the tarmac (What's that all about FFS, buts the creepers into you!)
Oh our house was such a joyous place for different reasons <facepalm>
C130 Hercules from Gibraltar to RAF Brize Norton. Handcuffed in the back in green coveralls no bootlaces and a shaved head flanked by 2 guards. Funny bit is; RAF Brize Norton has customs checks. I was honestly asked if I had anything to declare.
C130 Hercules from Gibraltar to RAF Brize Norton. Handcuffed in the back in green coveralls no bootlaces and a shaved head flanked by 2 guards. Funny bit is; RAF Brize Norton has customs checks. I was honestly asked if I had anything to declare.
C130 Hercules from Gibraltar to RAF Brize Norton. Handcuffed in the back in green coveralls no bootlaces and a shaved head flanked by 2 guards. Funny bit is; RAF Brize Norton has customs checks. I was honestly asked if I had anything to declare.
Were you the most dangerous skinhead in Gibraltar or did you give the Brigadier's wife a damn good seeing to?
Now it wasn’t a flight I took, or even booked, but last week I almost booked the most ridiculous flight possible.
Im going to to a music festival in Hoi An next week and for 3 days my BEST option was a 24 hours flight, setting off from Kunming, flying north to Chengdu, then way too far south to Saigon, only to get another plane back to Danang.
Pre covid it would have been a 90min direct flight to Hanoi and then a bus.
C130 Hercules from Gibraltar to RAF Brize Norton. Handcuffed in the back in green coveralls no bootlaces and a shaved head flanked by 2 guards. Funny bit is; RAF Brize Norton has customs checks. I was honestly asked if I had anything to declare.
There is soooo much more information we need about this flight……..
C130 Hercules from Gibraltar to RAF Brize Norton. Handcuffed in the back in green coveralls no bootlaces and a shaved head flanked by 2 guards. Funny bit is; RAF Brize Norton has customs checks. I was honestly asked if I had anything to declare.
Hope you said "I have nothing to declare except my genius" Failing that you could have tried "It's a set up, I'm innocent"
Sleeping before take off, and getting woken up for landing on a £6000 business class flight from Saudi Arabia because I was entering the peak days of unknowingly catching covid.
Comments
My previous post's described some of my helicopter flights in the North sea.
I was flying back to Sumburgh in the Shetlands after some time on a oil platform way up in the north sea.
The journey in the Sikorsky 61 helicopter usually took about one and a half hours.
We were about half way when the pilot announced through our head phones to me and my fellow 19 passengers that we would be taking a short diversion.
Soon we saw below a Russian war ship being refueled by a smaller boat.
Our helicopter descended alongside and circled the ships.
We all crammed to the helicopters windows to get a better view as the ships crew looked on.
The deck hands all stopped their tasks staring at us as we circled.
After several circuits we ascended and continued on our way.
The pilot announced that a Nato exercise was being carried out in the area and the Russian ships were shadowing and "We like to show them that we know they are there".
Interesting diversion.
The good was I had a very attractive girl work for me who demanded I held her hand all the way back! It would have been rude to say no.
Yes I am easily pleased
She's been in Dallas for work but there was no direct flights available for the return so she had to go via JFK at NY on the way back.
Fort Worth to JFK was on a 737, in a 3-3 seating formation and was only supposed to be a 3hr flight but she has a 1hr connection and then she was flying back business.
So at FW, she boards. Sitting on the aisle seat of 3. Middle seat empty. Plane was waiting for one passenger, the one sitting next to her. She eventually turns up. In my wife's words 'f*ck me, I've never seen any woman so f*cking huge!'. She just about managed to wedge herself in that middle seat but she was half hanging over my wife's seat. Cant complain, cant move seats as plane is full, suck it up, its only 3hrs.
Plane gets delayed 45 mins for 'no reason given'. They eventually take off. Its was about 11:30pm uk time when I last spoke to her last night but it was already clear it was touch and go to make the connection.
I wake up at 4am to see a message to say the weather is biblical in NY so they circled for ages and ended up being diverted to Buffalo, 75 mins away to refuel. A 3hr flight had become 8hrs. With a fat American woman half sitting on her.
Mrs D eventually lands at JFK around 1am local time. Missed her connecting flight by 4hrs or so.
Now bearing in mind on a 3hr internal flight there are no food/drinks. Terminal 8 at JFK at 1am is a ghost town until 5am earliest.
By a miracle, she managed to get the last seat on a plane for 9:30am local time so she gets back to Heathrow at 10pm tonight but she's flying economy otherwise she would have been getting back
Tuesday morning.
American Airlines customer services have been next to useless and have fucked over 150 people on her flight who all missed connections. Mrs D has been one of the luckier ones. But no food or water available for best part of 12hrs is ridiculous.
The poor thing then having to wait hours for something to eat and then being effectively downgraded for the last chunk of the journey. Make sure you get everything you can in terms of compensation from American.
But, also make sure you've got plenty of food in, because it would be terrible if she hasn't got everything she needs to cook your dinner when she gets in tonight.
Come to think of it, after almost 6 days with the kids, I'd love the peace and quiet of Terminal 8 at JFK. She doesnt know how lucky she is! 😂😂😂
Still sounds like the new Spurs manager in waiting.
But I’m seeing him next month and he ain’t getting off that lightly.😉
On the flight out we hit a pocket of turbulence over mongolia that for a few seconds made us go at about 45 degrees and feel like we were falling out of the sky, only time i've heard screams on a flight - my only thought was "huh, now i'm going to find out what it's like to die in a plane crash". Since then my fear of flying has got a lot better.
JFK to LHR was delayed by 90 mins. 11 booked on the plane didn't turn up. 23 bags had to be removed on the tarmac (What's that all about FFS, buts the creepers into you!)
Oh our house was such a joyous place for different reasons <facepalm>
Im going to to a music festival in Hoi An next week and for 3 days my BEST option was a 24 hours flight, setting off from Kunming, flying north to Chengdu, then way too far south to Saigon, only to get another plane back to Danang.
Terrifying moment plane door opens mid-air after ‘passenger pulls emergency exit lever’