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Your Letters of Last Resort
Comments
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Id have thought the wolf from The Three Little Pigs could take care of selhurst easily enough1
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Retaliate.....needs someone to make a decision without dithering on it, or telling blatant lies.1
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Rather right leaning execution list there.Bournemouth Addick said:Dear Madam Submarine Commander,
In the event of nuclear apocalypse you and your crew are instructed to proceed to the most remote island still habitable and start all over again. Do not fuck it up this time.
However, this Order is caveated that before proceeding to the aforementioned island you must, be whatever means necessary, confirm the deaths of the following and, if not, complete the task of removing them from any potential future gene pool:
Nigel Farage
Donald Trump
Vladimir Putin
Anyone else called Trump or Putin
Boris Johnson
Stanley Johnson
Jacob Rees-Mogg
Any other surviving member of the British Cabinet 2010-2024
Rupert Murdoch
Anyone else called Murdoch
Julia Hartley-Brewer
Tommy Robinson
Piers Morgan
Kelvin Mackenzie
Anyone who's ever liked anything written by the above
That bloke behind Mrs Brown's Boys
Roland Duchâtelet
Kevin Muscat
Pepe
Michael McIntyre
[See also Appendices A - M for full list of targets]
Have fun.
Yours in hope,
PM Bournemouth Addick.
For balance I'd add.....
Xi Jinping
Kim Jong Un
Jeremy Corbyn
Mick Lynch
Tony Blair
Gordon Brown
Alistair Campbell
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Add TTK, sadiq Khan and JOB to that list.golfaddick said:
Rather right leaning execution list there.Bournemouth Addick said:Dear Madam Submarine Commander,
In the event of nuclear apocalypse you and your crew are instructed to proceed to the most remote island still habitable and start all over again. Do not fuck it up this time.
However, this Order is caveated that before proceeding to the aforementioned island you must, be whatever means necessary, confirm the deaths of the following and, if not, complete the task of removing them from any potential future gene pool:
Nigel Farage
Donald Trump
Vladimir Putin
Anyone else called Trump or Putin
Boris Johnson
Stanley Johnson
Jacob Rees-Mogg
Any other surviving member of the British Cabinet 2010-2024
Rupert Murdoch
Anyone else called Murdoch
Julia Hartley-Brewer
Tommy Robinson
Piers Morgan
Kelvin Mackenzie
Anyone who's ever liked anything written by the above
That bloke behind Mrs Brown's Boys
Roland Duchâtelet
Kevin Muscat
Pepe
Michael McIntyre
[See also Appendices A - M for full list of targets]
Have fun.
Yours in hope,
PM Bournemouth Addick.
For balance I'd add.....
Xi Jinping
Kim Jong Un
Jeremy Corbyn
Mick Lynch
Tony Blair
Gordon Brown
Alistair Campbell2 -
What are the chances of Xi Jinping and Kim Jong Un being on holiday in the UK when the strike happened?golfaddick said:
Rather right leaning execution list there.Bournemouth Addick said:Dear Madam Submarine Commander,
In the event of nuclear apocalypse you and your crew are instructed to proceed to the most remote island still habitable and start all over again. Do not fuck it up this time.
However, this Order is caveated that before proceeding to the aforementioned island you must, be whatever means necessary, confirm the deaths of the following and, if not, complete the task of removing them from any potential future gene pool:
Nigel Farage
Donald Trump
Vladimir Putin
Anyone else called Trump or Putin
Boris Johnson
Stanley Johnson
Jacob Rees-Mogg
Any other surviving member of the British Cabinet 2010-2024
Rupert Murdoch
Anyone else called Murdoch
Julia Hartley-Brewer
Tommy Robinson
Piers Morgan
Kelvin Mackenzie
Anyone who's ever liked anything written by the above
That bloke behind Mrs Brown's Boys
Roland Duchâtelet
Kevin Muscat
Pepe
Michael McIntyre
[See also Appendices A - M for full list of targets]
Have fun.
Yours in hope,
PM Bournemouth Addick.
For balance I'd add.....
Xi Jinping
Kim Jong Un
Jeremy Corbyn
Mick Lynch
Tony Blair
Gordon Brown
Alistair Campbell
I'd also add Diane Abbot, Richard Burgon, Clive Lewis, Stewart Lee, Owen Jones, Grace Blakely and Tommy Robinson so that none of them could have any influence in a post apocalyptic Britain.1 -
They're held on the submarines. The idea is to prevent a hostile power calculating that if they take out Westminster in a surprise attack we'll be unable to retaliate because we'll have no-one left to give the order.stonemuse said:If the Government has been destroyed, who holds the letters? Who sends them?
Furthermore, it is likely that all communication methods would be down, so how are they sent?Or are they already with the submarines? Big risk if the subs are damaged or captured.
I'm not sure it matters too much what the instructions actually say, as long as no-one knows, so an enemy knows there's a chance that the instruction will be to blow their capital city to bits in retaliation. Which is intended to discourage them from attacking.
I've never been in favour of nuclear weapons, but I've been thinking again in the last couple of years given that the only country we know of that has had nuclear weapons and has voluntarily decommissioned them is Ukraine. And look what's happened to them.1 -
I'd retaliate just so the rest of the world doesn't have to deal with whatever pariah state fired them at us.0
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Retaliate against who?
If the subs are isolated and the chain of command above them has been wiped out, how do they know who to launch against?0 -
Fire all the nukes at the Arctic and Antarctica so we will take everyone else down with us.
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I am waiting to be accused of politicising this thread.0
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Me! Me! Me!
Here I am.
Me! Me! Poor misunderstood Me!9 -
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Thanks for the bump. Its creeping ever closer to a million views now.seth plum said:1 -
Reminds of the film War Games that come out mid 80's.
A computer took over from the military in missile silos as the men pushing the button couldn't be trusted to do the job when the time came.
Computer had dozens & dozens of "war games" programmed in but once again when the time came the computer wouldn't launch the missiles either because after it ran the games over & over it realised that everyone would nuke everyone else until there was total destruction.0 -
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The main question you have to consider when thinking about what to write is this: under what circumstances is it better to fire nuclear-powered weapons of mass destruction than not to do so?
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“Can I have two extra pints of semi skimmed on Monday please” meanwhile her milkman received instructions to nuke the rest of the world..se9addick said:Can you imagine what Liz Truss’ letter said …!3 -
If there's any doubt nuke the French.Off_it said:Retaliate against who?
If the subs are isolated and the chain of command above them has been wiped out, how do they know who to launch against?1 - Sponsored links:
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Even if theres doubt, nuke the French. Some of theirs are probably pointing at us.SantaClaus said:
If there's any doubt nuke the French.Off_it said:Retaliate against who?
If the subs are isolated and the chain of command above them has been wiped out, how do they know who to launch against?0 -
"...oh, and one last thing. Don't look at your pager"0
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Wear sunscreen0
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Diane Abbott said that if Russia dropped 2 Nukes, and the Yanks also dropped 2, The UK would drop its own to make it 6 dropped in total0
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I would add Netanyahu.....because the fcuker will keep bombing even though there is nothing left to bombgolfaddick said:
Rather right leaning execution list there.Bournemouth Addick said:Dear Madam Submarine Commander,
In the event of nuclear apocalypse you and your crew are instructed to proceed to the most remote island still habitable and start all over again. Do not fuck it up this time.
However, this Order is caveated that before proceeding to the aforementioned island you must, be whatever means necessary, confirm the deaths of the following and, if not, complete the task of removing them from any potential future gene pool:
Nigel Farage
Donald Trump
Vladimir Putin
Anyone else called Trump or Putin
Boris Johnson
Stanley Johnson
Jacob Rees-Mogg
Any other surviving member of the British Cabinet 2010-2024
Rupert Murdoch
Anyone else called Murdoch
Julia Hartley-Brewer
Tommy Robinson
Piers Morgan
Kelvin Mackenzie
Anyone who's ever liked anything written by the above
That bloke behind Mrs Brown's Boys
Roland Duchâtelet
Kevin Muscat
Pepe
Michael McIntyre
[See also Appendices A - M for full list of targets]
Have fun.
Yours in hope,
PM Bournemouth Addick.
For balance I'd add.....
Xi Jinping
Kim Jong Un
Jeremy Corbyn
Mick Lynch
Tony Blair
Gordon Brown
Alistair Campbell0 -
Pause my Strava0
