Probably my worse one was explaining to a customer why I had postponed a visit a couple of weeks back (because my wife gave birth) and I told him "I was at present at the conception".
In my "defence" I was trying to think of a medical term for birth and for whatever reason that's what popped in my head.
Not a speaking one but a typo i was in Pittsburgh for work and at the time this big plastic yellow duck was going round the world at various locations and one morning I woke up and I could see it out of the hotel window My eldest daughter had just got a mobile phone so was about 8 or something and I thought I’d tell her about this duck so I messaged saying there’s a massive plastic yellow duck outside my window, typing an i instead of a u in duck… thankfully too young to really understand
Walked into a room at work once. Two colleagues were talking (one of them was a new guy called Daryl who had been with us for a couple of months) and looking a bit serious. I said "Cheer up Daryl, what happened - wife leave you or something?". Daryl, replied "Actually, mate, yes. I was just telling Adam here that she left me shortly before I started here, but I was too embarrassed to say".
Thought he was winding me up but, no, his wife really had recently left him and I had somehow, completely inadvertently, chosen the exact moment he was a starting to face up to it and 'go public' to crack a poor taste joke about it. Proper foot in mouth moment.
Walked into a room at work once. Two colleagues were talking (one of them was a new guy called Daryl who had been with us for a couple of months) and looking a bit serious. I said "Cheer up Daryl, what happened - wife leave you or something?". Daryl, replied "Actually, mate, yes. I was just telling Adam here that she left me shortly before I started here, but I was too embarrassed to say".
Thought he was winding me up but, no, his wife really had recently left him and I had somehow, completely inadvertently, chosen the exact moment he was a starting face up to it and 'go public' to crack a poor taste joke about it. Proper foot in mount moment.
My very first job was for The GLC as a clerical officer. Long before e mails where letters were the way to communicate. One of my colleagues without fail used to start the correspondence Dear Sir or Madman (not madam). Nobody ever seemed to notice.
Ditto...housing dept IB 2N
Reminds me of an internal handwritten memo from a personnel dept to wages dept " please adjust wages for t Smith he didn't take holiday on Wednesday he wanked instead" ...it was meant to say worked 😁
Three of us shared a small office back in the day when an attractive secretary came into the office. I was on the phone at the time and a few minutes later after putting the phone down with the secretary not in sight asked “ what did Sheila want - a good knobbing?” At that moment she re-appeared from behind a filing cabinet.
Walked into a room at work once. Two colleagues were talking (one of them was a new guy called Daryl who had been with us for a couple of months) and looking a bit serious. I said "Cheer up Daryl, what happened - wife leave you or something?". Daryl, replied "Actually, mate, yes. I was just telling Adam here that she left me shortly before I started here, but I was too embarrassed to say".
Thought he was winding me up but, no, his wife really had recently left him and I had somehow, completely inadvertently, chosen the exact moment he was a starting face up to it and 'go public' to crack a poor taste joke about it. Proper foot in mount moment.
Walked into a room at work once. Two colleagues were talking (one of them was a new guy called Daryl who had been with us for a couple of months) and looking a bit serious. I said "Cheer up Daryl, what happened - wife leave you or something?". Daryl, replied "Actually, mate, yes. I was just telling Adam here that she left me shortly before I started here, but I was too embarrassed to say".
Thought he was winding me up but, no, his wife really had recently left him and I had somehow, completely inadvertently, chosen the exact moment he was a starting to face up to it and 'go public' to crack a poor taste joke about it. Proper foot in mouth moment.
One of my colleagues walked into work one morning looking quite upset. "You don't look a happy bunny this morning", another colleague stated. "My pet rabbit's just died"! was the response.
Many years ago, (25 to be exact) right after I’d moved to London, I met a girl who shared her flat with other people. We had to sneak into the bathroom for some private time, and the next day, I sent her a cheeky email saying, ‘Thanks for a great time on the toilet,’ instead of ‘in the toilet.’”
My misspoken words are too painful to remember. However I liked Don Trumps recent one at a campaign meeting where he completely mangled 2 maybe 3 words together and followed it up with “ not many people know what that means” making the audience think he’s smarter than them
I once gave a presentation in front of a couple hundred people, id been speaking about 30mins when my mouth ran dry and id run out of water. I was meaning to say the word "can't".....................
Comments
In my "defence" I was trying to think of a medical term for birth and for whatever reason that's what popped in my head.
i was in Pittsburgh for work and at the time this big plastic yellow duck was going round the world at various locations and one morning I woke up and I could see it out of the hotel window
My eldest daughter had just got a mobile phone so was about 8 or something and I thought I’d tell her about this duck
so I messaged saying there’s a massive plastic yellow duck outside my window, typing an i instead of a u in duck…
thankfully too young to really understand
Thought he was winding me up but, no, his wife really had recently left him and I had somehow, completely inadvertently, chosen the exact moment he was a starting to face up to it and 'go public' to crack a poor taste joke about it. Proper foot in mouth moment.
"You don't look a happy bunny this morning", another colleague stated.
"My pet rabbit's just died"! was the response.