Childs football rhyme help

stockportaddick

A ditty from my childhood popped in to my head from nowhere the other day but I cannot for the life of me remember the start, can any lifers help, it is driving me nuts?

Problem is though, this could be a made up song between mates from my school days at St Thomas a Beckett in the late 60´s and has never been heard outside of that playground. I am hoping it was known in wider circles!

To the tune of my old mans a dustman, this is where I remember the song from, does anyone know how it starts off?

Fatty passed to skinny, skinny passed it back
Fatty took a rotten shot and knocked the goalie flat
Where was the goalie when the ball was in the net
Flying to Australia on a supersonic jet

Here's hoping! 

SuedeAdidas

Was that before or after they went up in a rocket?

iaitch

My Old Man's a Dustman (Variation)

 
O, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He bought two thousand tickets
To see a football match

Oh, Fatty passed to Skinny
And Skinny passed it back
Fatty took a rotten shot
And knocked the goalie flat, OOH!

Where was the goalie
When the ball went in the net?
Halfway up the goalpost
With his trousers round his neck, singing

Oompah, oompah
Stick it up you jumper
Rule Britannia, marmalde and jam
We threw sausages at our old man

They put him on a stetcher
They put him on a bed
They rubbed his belly
With a five pound jelly
But the poor old soul was dead

Solidgone

They don’t make em like that anymore 🤓

stockportaddick

iaitch said:

My Old Man's a Dustman (Variation)

 
O, my old man's a dustman
He wears a dustman's hat
He bought two thousand tickets
To see a football match

Oh, Fatty passed to Skinny
And Skinny passed it back
Fatty took a rotten shot
And knocked the goalie flat, OOH!

Where was the goalie
When the ball went in the net?
Halfway up the goalpost
With his trousers round his neck, singing

Oompah, oompah
Stick it up you jumper
Rule Britannia, marmalde and jam
We threw sausages at our old man

They put him on a stetcher
They put him on a bed
They rubbed his belly
With a five pound jelly
But the poor old soul was dead

Cheers for that @iaitch
As soon as I read your post I remembered it with those words, us kids obviously tinkered with the original!