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Silly Things People Say!

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  • Miserableoldgit
    Miserableoldgit Posts: 21,458

    "It's not you, it's me"

    To be perfectly honest, it normally is You.

  • DA9
    DA9 Posts: 11,091

    I was given a couple of ties for Christmas by, shall we say 'an in-law'.
    Put one of them on for lunch on Boxing Day to be greeted with,

    'Didn't you like the other one then'?

    Female logic shown in all its glory...pmsl
  • JWADDICK
    JWADDICK Posts: 846
    DA9 said:

    I was given a couple of ties for Christmas by, shall we say 'an in-law'.
    Put one of them on for lunch on Boxing Day to be greeted with,

    'Didn't you like the other one then'?

    Female logic shown in all its glory...pmsl
    Female logic is an oxymoron
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,862
    Women, cant live with them , cant shoot them...
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    Robbo that's the best video ever
  • Ormiston_Addick
    Ormiston_Addick Posts: 8,810

    Not too sure what this one said, but the old boy wasn't happy with her public exhibition.

    25.media.tumblr.com/bced16f6c9546149210e2e7e37b49e20/tumblr_mkxej6pNwA1rthazvo1_400.gif

    What on earth is all that about?

  • SilentAddick
    SilentAddick Posts: 1,603
    Looks like she took a sprinkle that infuriated the old guy...
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274

    Not too sure what this one said, but the old boy wasn't happy with her public exhibition.

    25.media.tumblr.com/bced16f6c9546149210e2e7e37b49e20/tumblr_mkxej6pNwA1rthazvo1_400.gif

    What on earth is all that about?




    Public nudity and public pissing, but the old boy weren't too keen. Unless he just wanted his shoe brushing....


  • Gammysnr
    Gammysnr Posts: 540
    Once was asked for 'One of those George Formby grills'. Also ordered an 'alcoholic hush puppy' in a pub.
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    Gammysnr said:

    Once was asked for 'One of those George Formby grills'. Also ordered an 'alcoholic hush puppy' in a pub.

    Was the alcoholic slush puppy from the Horse And Groom by any chance? Big Pete had em in there for a while
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  • Gammysnr
    Gammysnr Posts: 540
    BIG_ROB said:

    Gammysnr said:

    Once was asked for 'One of those George Formby grills'. Also ordered an 'alcoholic hush puppy' in a pub.

    Was the alcoholic slush puppy from the Horse And Groom by any chance? Big Pete had em in there for a while
    It was a long time ago, but was in a pub in Blackheath from memory. Blueberry flavour as her tongue went blue.
  • Loco
    Loco Posts: 1,037
    My wife was in the pub the other night and six Russian sailors came in and started beating her with iron bars, my neighbour said to me are you going to help? I said no six of them should be enough.
  • Loco
    Loco Posts: 1,037
    The wife was ill last week, I said to her don't worry love if your at deaths door I'll pull you through.
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    Close then @Loco, you and the wife?

    ; )
  • JaShea99
    JaShea99 Posts: 5,461

    BIG_ROB said:

    This is another one
    Her "Do you think.I should dye my hair brunette?"
    Me "Yeah, why not, I think it would look nice."
    Her "So you don't like it blonde then?"

    Ffs!


    on the way to R and N's wedding we drove past leeds castle and my mrs turned to me

    her "bloody hell, we got here quick"
    me "where"
    her "leeds"
    Technically correct as the place Leeds Castle is in is called Leeds.
  • Loco
    Loco Posts: 1,037
    BIG_ROB said:

    Close then @Loco, you and the wife?

    ; )

    I haven't spoken to her in two years, we haven't quarrelled or anything, I just don't like to interrupt her.

    The old time jokes are the best :)
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    Loco said:

    BIG_ROB said:

    Close then @Loco, you and the wife?

    ; )

    I haven't spoken to her in two years, we haven't quarrelled or anything, I just don't like to interrupt her.

    The old time jokes are the best :)
    pmsl nutter
  • golfaddick
    golfaddick Posts: 33,641
    wrong thread Loco - there is a jokes thread if you want to post a few "crackers"
  • O-Randy-Hunt
    O-Randy-Hunt Posts: 10,666
    Stig said:

    Mother in law playing Trivial Pursuit:

    Q. Who was Bobby Charlton's famous footballing brother? A. Bobby Moore.
    Q. Who has won the most Liverpool-Everton derbys? A. Derby.

    Similar situation at christmas. Playing family fortunes.

    Q. Name a famous Paul
    A. Elton johns swimming pool

    *if its on the board I'll give you the money myself
  • Was round my brothers last night and he stuck on eurovision as they were handing out the points, after a couple of minutes his gf asked why wasn't America there as they would surely win it!! After that classic she asked where abouts lezland is and was it a country in a country.... She's always good for a laugh!
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  • Covered End
    Covered End Posts: 52,013
    edited May 2013
    If I posted all my wife's, I'd be on here all day !

    In the last 5 mins :-

    Me: I'd rather watch The Champions League Final next Saturday, than go to a "party".

    Wife: Who's playing, is it Palace ?



    Wife: Talking to someone on her mobile, she says "hang on a minute, I'll just get my mobile".

    You're on it you daft bint :-)
  • Essex_Al
    Essex_Al Posts: 3,583
    Doing some DIY this morning minding my own business all going well for a change, when the missus walks in '' everything ok she asks'' just as my drill bit snaps in half!

    I've banned her from asking me the Charlton score because you can guarantee that if we are winning 1-0, she asks the question and the oppo score!
  • BR3red
    BR3red Posts: 1,715
    She said that she got a flat tyre yesterday, rang the AA and said that " it wasn't too bad as its only flat at the bottom..."

    give me strength
  • Off_it
    Off_it Posts: 28,866
    I once managed to convince my missus that Johnny Cash was singing the song on the radio about a fella he didn't get on with ........ "Sam Quinten I hate every inch of you".

    Made up this whole story about how he wrote the song as his revenge after a bar room brawl ..... "you've cut me and you've scarred me through and through".

    "Poor Sam", she said.

  • Norfolk_Addick
    Norfolk_Addick Posts: 2,289
    Whilst watching eurovision

    Her "Why don't we just put Justin Bieber or someone like that in we would definitely win"

    Me "Justin Bieber is Canadian"

    Her "Are Canada in it?"

    She also wouldn't believe Georgia is in Europe, she was adamant that it's a state in America and they've got it wrong.
  • tangoflash
    tangoflash Posts: 10,785

    Whilst watching eurovision

    Her "Why don't we just put Justin Bieber or someone like that in we would definitely win"

    Me "Justin Bieber is Canadian"

    Her "Are Canada in it?"

    She also wouldn't believe Georgia is in Europe, she was adamant that it's a state in America and they've got it wrong.

    Think you might owe her an apology.................
    map.jpg 389.2K
  • Norfolk_Addick
    Norfolk_Addick Posts: 2,289
    edited May 2013
    Lol I am well aware that it is ALSO a US state.
  • tangoflash
    tangoflash Posts: 10,785
    Well, here's one for the little lady then. ;-)
    map2.jpg 617.7K
  • Loco
    Loco Posts: 1,037
    Off_it said:

    I once managed to convince my missus that Johnny Cash was singing the song on the radio about a fella he didn't get on with ........ "Sam Quinten I hate every inch of you".

    Made up this whole story about how he wrote the song as his revenge after a bar room brawl ..... "you've cut me and you've scarred me through and through".

    "Poor Sam", she said.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zgja26eNeY

    Just for completeness :P
  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,862
    It is the songwriter who needs to be from the country so Bieber could sing for us. Celine Dion represented Switzerland once.