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Silly Things People Say!

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  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    edited September 2013
    Sitting there at the bar having a diet coke the the missus when she came out with this little bobby dazzler

    "That tree looks like camouflage"

    Then, realising her mistake, tried to style it out with

    "Is the word camouflage French?"
  • DRAddick
    DRAddick Posts: 3,588
    Watching a history documentary with an X when the narrator said that so and so member of the Royal family had died of consumption.

    X says "Why don't they just say they were an alcoholic like they would with us normal people?"
  • Curb_It
    Curb_It Posts: 21,229
    BIG_ROB said:

    Sitting there at the bar having a diet coke the the missus when she came out with this little bobby dazzler

    "That tree looks like camouflage"

    Then, realising her mistake, tried to style it out with

    "Is the word camouflage French?"

    I'm sorry. I just don't get the joke? The tree looks like camouflage ?
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    Curb_It said:

    BIG_ROB said:

    Sitting there at the bar having a diet coke the the missus when she came out with this little bobby dazzler

    "That tree looks like camouflage"

    Then, realising her mistake, tried to style it out with

    "Is the word camouflage French?"

    I'm sorry. I just don't get the joke? The tree looks like camouflage ?
    That's the whole point of camouflage is to look like trees, or were trees designed to look like camouflage.....?
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    Curb_It said:

    BIG_ROB said:

    Sitting there at the bar having a diet coke the the missus when she came out with this little bobby dazzler

    "That tree looks like camouflage"

    Then, realising her mistake, tried to style it out with

    "Is the word camouflage French?"

    I'm sorry. I just don't get the joke? The tree looks like camouflage ?





    shakes head and leaves thread
  • Redskin
    Redskin Posts: 3,115
    BIG_ROB said:

    Sitting there at the bar having a diet coke the the missus when she came out with this little bobby dazzler

    "That tree looks like camouflage"

    Then, realising her mistake, tried to style it out with

    "Is the word camouflage French?"

    She's right, it is a French word.
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    Redskin said:

    BIG_ROB said:

    Sitting there at the bar having a diet coke the the missus when she came out with this little bobby dazzler

    "That tree looks like camouflage"

    Then, realising her mistake, tried to style it out with

    "Is the word camouflage French?"

    She's right, it is a French word.
    Redskin, are you female?
  • Curb_It
    Curb_It Posts: 21,229
    BIG_ROB said:

    Curb_It said:

    BIG_ROB said:

    Sitting there at the bar having a diet coke the the missus when she came out with this little bobby dazzler

    "That tree looks like camouflage"

    Then, realising her mistake, tried to style it out with

    "Is the word camouflage French?"

    I'm sorry. I just don't get the joke? The tree looks like camouflage ?
    That's the whole point of camouflage is to look like trees, or were trees designed to look like camouflage.....?
    I now can't stop laughing . And it's probably the third thickest thing I've said this week. Which is a bit of a worry

    Nla go shake your head elsewhere. Xx

    Kmt,
  • Curb_It
    Curb_It Posts: 21,229
    Actually can we delete all these posts? :-)

    Thick!
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    Pmsl
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  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,861
    Made me laugh at 2am when feeding littlun and just had to read it and laugh again at 6am
  • PeterGage
    PeterGage Posts: 1,793
    True story a few years ago. We were driving South on the M1. I joked that we were going North and my wife said "We must be going the right way because the traffic going the other way is on our right" !!
  • mattaddick
    mattaddick Posts: 655
    Feel guilty about posting as in my experience women are far more intelligent and wise than us lot but, many moons ago, I took a girl to cricket at Canterbury (romantic soul I was, knew how to show a girl a good time etc). I went to get a pint and missed a wicket, a clean bowled. I got back and my lovely companion said: "you missed it. The bloke throwing the ball hit those three sticks. It was a fantastic goal."
  • Viewfinder
    Viewfinder Posts: 4,911
    PeterGage said:

    True story a few years ago. We were driving South on the M1. I joked that we were going North and my wife said "We must be going the right way because the traffic going the other way is on our right" !!

    That's absolutely priceless!

  • Curb_It
    Curb_It Posts: 21,229
    In my defence I was a little tiddled... :-)
  • ShootersHillGuru
    ShootersHillGuru Posts: 50,625
    I still think my friends wife's comment when telling him about a work confrontation and calling it a "Mexican hat stand" wants some beating.
  • CharltonKerry
    CharltonKerry Posts: 2,960
    My mum (god rest her soul) made us laugh on numerous occasions, but her best 2 where:

    During the winter of discontent, the power was off more times then it was on (for you younguns), we where sitting in the front room waiting for the lights to come on, when a coach came past on all its lights ablaze, you guessed it, oh good the powers back on. The really funny thing I got up to switch the lights on.

    2nd one was during the 66 World Cup final, the first goal went in, and a few (seemed like) minutes a she announces that the 2 had been scored, shame we had to tell her it was a (not very) instant replay. But to be fair from memory it was the first time it used on British tele.
  • BIG_ROB
    BIG_ROB Posts: 5,274
    Curb_It said:

    In my defence I was a little tiddled... :-)

    Guessed ; )
  • Viewfinder
    Viewfinder Posts: 4,911
    edited September 2013
    This idiocy isn't from any of my girlfriends - they are far too smart - it was uttered by me, myself.

    One day many years ago I was on a train at Wallington station when the whole system ground to a halt: a power failure, or something. So I got off and walked in to the minicab office next door, hoping to continue my journey. The controller sucked his teeth and told me there was at least a 30-minute wait for the next available cab; I sat down, but was nervous and agitated because I was laden with equipment - too much for hopping onto a bus - and was going to be late for my appointment.

    I waited and waited. Half-an-hour passed, then 45 minutes; by now I was in a state of high anxiety. For the want of an explanation, I beckoned the controller: "I suppose all this disruption on the trains means your drivers are having trouble getting in to work."

    The controller looked at me witheringly and said: "They do have cars, you know."

  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    I hoped you were B that was a tick bit of paddy coming out in you 8)
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  • pettgra
    pettgra Posts: 1,572
    A girl I worked with said to me " Bristol Rovers is rhyming slang for women's breasts isn't it?"
  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    Many moons ago when I was meeting my future m-i-l for the first time I needed some common ground for a conversation and I knew she was keen on cricket.

    I managed to get the subject round to the game, and I didn't know much at that time about field positioning, so I asked her to explain some of the finer intricacies such as, short square leg, silly point etc.

    To which she responded, 'Oh I don't know those' then after a short pause she added, 'But I know where the wicket keeper stands'.

  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,027
    Mrs Stig is currently watching The Diary of Anne Frank and is clearly getting bored with it, "this doesn't seem to have moved very much"!
  • Essex_Al
    Essex_Al Posts: 3,582
    Went for a Chinese last night with the missus,

    Me:- Do you want a bottle of house white?

    Her:- Yes, that will be nice

    Me:- Oh, its listed as Dry!

    Her:- That's ok I'll have some water as well!

    I kid you not!
  • happyvalley
    happyvalley Posts: 8,996
    Essex_Al said:

    Went for a Chinese last night with the missus,

    Me:- Do you want a bottle of house white?

    Her:- Yes, that will be nice

    Me:- Oh, its listed as Dry!

    Her:- That's ok I'll have some water as well!

    I kid you not!

    I take it she is from Essex as well.
  • Essex_Al
    Essex_Al Posts: 3,582
    Ha, ha yes she is, but I was born in Bexley and lived in Kent until I married her when I was 35. Very hard to get an Essex girl to leave Essex!
  • maybe_baby
    maybe_baby Posts: 2,609
    edited November 2013
    To be truthful I'd rather have an Essex girl than some of the smart arsed women I've landed myself with. My second wife (I've had a few) was as think as two planks, but I loved the bones off her and we never had a cross word in our eleven year marriage.
  • Essex_Al
    Essex_Al Posts: 3,582
    Amen to that brother!
  • kentaddick
    kentaddick Posts: 18,729
    maybe_baby said:

    To be truthful I'd rather have an Essex girl than some of the smart arsed women I've landed myself with. My second wife (I've had a few) was as think as two planks, but I loved the bones off her and we never had a cross word in our eleven year marriage.

    honestly i'd get bored with a good looking plank, would probably not treat her well as i wouldn't have much respect for her. Just being honest really.
  • Essex_Al
    Essex_Al Posts: 3,582
    Know what you mean mate, it's not that my wife is thick, she keeps me well organised, but she has an amazing knack of coming out with stupid things as above. When she realises what she has said she laughs her head off!

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