Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.

Silly Things People Say!

1…5791011

Comments

  • maybe_baby
    maybe_baby Posts: 2,609
    edited November 2013
    kentaddick said:

    My current gf ... can hold her own which rather takes away the "looking after" bit...

    Is she called Lola? ;-)
  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,036
    edited November 2013
    Sorry Maybe Baby, I buggered up your post by clicking on edit rather than quote. You might want to post again. Apologies.

    Everyone else: I'm to blame for the Lola cheapshot, not MB.
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    edited November 2013
    maybe_baby said:



    kentaddick said:

    My current gf ... can hold her own which rather takes away the "looking after" bit...

    Is she called Lola? ;-)
    Stig said:

    Sorry Maybe Baby, I buggered up your post by clicking on edit rather than quote. You might want to post again. Apologies.

    Everyone else: I'm to blame for the Lola cheapshot, not MB.




    stay away from my dog you dirty bstds 8)


    Essex Al it is hard to get an Essex girl to leave Essex but that's outweighed by the fact its the only hard thing to get them to do 8)
  • maybe_baby
    maybe_baby Posts: 2,609
    Well Stig, this is going to take some getting over. I'll be requiring an extra portion of tenderness from your good self over the coming weeks...and don't try to smooth it over with clever photo shop stuff, I'm much too wise to be won over by that cheap trick.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,830
    Nice one @Stig

    Just another 2,500 of his comments to delete and then we'll be getting somewhere...
  • maybe_baby
    maybe_baby Posts: 2,609
    AFKABartram said:

    Nice one @Stig

    Just another 2,500 of his comments to delete and then we'll be getting somewhere...

    Oi watch it :-)

  • Essex_Al
    Essex_Al Posts: 3,583
    Said to the missus earlier, glad I didn't go tonight and read out the team with mostly trialists in it.

    ''How come half the team have the same name''

    You couldn't make it up!
  • happyvalley
    happyvalley Posts: 8,996
    My wife asked me the other day why the newspaper tv listings did not show what was on itv+1.
  • Callumcafc
    Callumcafc Posts: 63,785
    http://metro.co.uk/2014/07/20/note-to-husbands-dont-write-a-list-showing-the-times-your-wife-refused-sex-4804354/
  • Robbo on the wing
    Robbo on the wing Posts: 4,135
    Is that chloroform i can smell on that hankerchief?

  • Sponsored links:



  • Sonicstud85
    Sonicstud85 Posts: 2,161
    Someone bought a Fruit cake into the office and labelled it up "Stollen".

    One of the birds then said to me "why would they admit that they have knicked it"

    I was pmsl while she carried on looking at me with a puzzled face.
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    Me 'Robert Vaughn's passed away'

    Mrs 'Who?'

    Me 'Him from Man From UNCLE'

    Mrs 'The big guy?'

    Me (wishin I'd never said nothing by now) 'WHAT??!!'

    Mrs 'Uncle Buck.....err.....John Candy)


    Ffs
  • bolloxbolder
    bolloxbolder Posts: 7,964
    Yes if it's Halle Berry.
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 22,956
    buckshee said:

    The Mrs just text me to ask if it was good luck if a "black bird shits on you"

    So many answers.

    Is that the punchline of the "You fart in my Whitbread?" joke?
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    bolloxbolder said:

    Yes if it's Halle Berry.

    But not if it's Rusty Lee.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,799
    bexleyaddick said:

    This can be attributed to any conversation with my wife when she asks my opinion on something;

    her 'what dress shall I wear, the blue or the red?', me 'red', her 'I'll wear the blue' .

    Drives me mad!

    She obviously knows you have no taste in fashion.
  • Lincsaddick
    Lincsaddick Posts: 32,357
    a friend of mine popped round today during the televised fiasco .. 'who's playing' .. 'Charlton' .. 'oh' .. she looked bemused .. 'are they any good ?' .. what can one say to that ? ((:>)
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    Watching David Attenborough on the One Show last night talking about Planet Earth II

    Mrs : "Oh, the next one is about street animals"

    Me : "Pardon?"

    Mrs : "The next one is about street animals, or was it urban animals?"

    Me : "I don't know what you are talking about, sorry, trying my absolute hardest here, but I'm lost"

    Welsh treacle on the tele : "So, David, the next episode is about city animals, what can we expect to see?"

    Me : "I think you may be getting your animals mixed up with your dance genres luv, go to bed"



  • Essex_Al
    Essex_Al Posts: 3,583
    Whilst watching Corrie, she's just come out with . . . . .

    ''That's put the kettle amongst the pigeons''!

    bless er

  • Sponsored links:



  • Wheresmeticket
    Wheresmeticket Posts: 17,304
    When are you going to get off your fat arse and do some cleaning?
  • Wheresmeticket
    Wheresmeticket Posts: 17,304
    BIG_ROB said:

    Sitting there at the bar having a diet coke the the missus when she came out with this little bobby dazzler

    "That tree looks like camouflage"

    Then, realising her mistake, tried to style it out with

    "Is the word camouflage French?"

    Should have popped out and asked the neighbours.
  • Wheresmeticket
    Wheresmeticket Posts: 17,304
    maybe_baby said:

    ShootersHillGuru said:

    maybe_baby said:

    Writer and/or singer can be foreign. I was commissioned to write the Belarus entry in 2005.

    Where did it come ?

    the then Prime Minister replaced the song and singer at the last moment and entered his own girlfriend

    You couldn't make it up.
  • CharltonKerry
    CharltonKerry Posts: 2,960
    edited November 2017
    My mum during the winter of discontent and a planned night with no power, coach goes past the window all lit up, she says kerry the power back on go and turn the lights on.
  • golfaddick
    golfaddick Posts: 33,641
    CharltonKerry said:

    My mum during the winter of discontent and a planned night with no power, coach goes past the window all lit up, she says kerry the power back on go and turn the lights on.

    not original - I think Ken Dodd or some other old comedian came out with that one tears ago.
  • CharltonKerry
    CharltonKerry Posts: 2,960
    golfaddick said:

    CharltonKerry said:

    My mum during the winter of discontent and a planned night with no power, coach goes past the window all lit up, she says kerry the power back on go and turn the lights on.

    not original - I think Ken Dodd or some other old comedian came out with that one tears ago.
    He might well have done, but if he experienced it then the only explanation was he was sitting in our front room with us, as this actually happened, it was around winter 78/79, But to add a little to the story I actually got up to go over and try. I imagine it happened a lot during that terrible winter.
  • DA9
    DA9 Posts: 11,091
    Not sure if I’ve posted this before, but my ex wife, whilst on honeymoon in Corfu 1994, looked up at the night sky and asked “ is that the same moon we get at home?”
  • DA9
    DA9 Posts: 11,091
    My gf said a few years back, sitting in the car on the way back from Heathrow after returning from a 10 week business trip, 2 weeks in each of the following cities, Beijing, Singapore, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and various others
    “I’m so looking forward to a decent Chinese”
  • Bigbadbozman
    Bigbadbozman Posts: 1,775
    The ex had a couple, whilst at a quiz night. Q (along the lines of)-Which Mongal leader forged the largest ancient empire? Ex- oooh I know this one, Jabba the Hut!

    The other was 'I do'
  • SuedeAdidas
    SuedeAdidas Posts: 7,743
    Half way into a daytime flight to Chicago - the missus chirps up........

    We’re really lucky when we fly in the daytime.....it’s always nice and sunny

Categories

“Marketplace”