Silly Things People Say!
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Is she called Lola? ;-)kentaddick said:My current gf ... can hold her own which rather takes away the "looking after" bit...
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Sorry Maybe Baby, I buggered up your post by clicking on edit rather than quote. You might want to post again. Apologies.
Everyone else: I'm to blame for the Lola cheapshot, not MB.0 -
maybe_baby said:
Is she called Lola? ;-)kentaddick said:My current gf ... can hold her own which rather takes away the "looking after" bit...
Stig said:Sorry Maybe Baby, I buggered up your post by clicking on edit rather than quote. You might want to post again. Apologies.
Everyone else: I'm to blame for the Lola cheapshot, not MB.
stay away from my dog you dirty bstds 8)
Essex Al it is hard to get an Essex girl to leave Essex but that's outweighed by the fact its the only hard thing to get them to do 8)1 -
Well Stig, this is going to take some getting over. I'll be requiring an extra portion of tenderness from your good self over the coming weeks...and don't try to smooth it over with clever photo shop stuff, I'm much too wise to be won over by that cheap trick.0
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Oi watch it :-)AFKABartram said:Nice one @Stig
Just another 2,500 of his comments to delete and then we'll be getting somewhere...
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Said to the missus earlier, glad I didn't go tonight and read out the team with mostly trialists in it.
''How come half the team have the same name''
You couldn't make it up!3 -
My wife asked me the other day why the newspaper tv listings did not show what was on itv+1.11
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Is that chloroform i can smell on that hankerchief?3
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Someone bought a Fruit cake into the office and labelled it up "Stollen".
One of the birds then said to me "why would they admit that they have knicked it"
I was pmsl while she carried on looking at me with a puzzled face.7 -
Me 'Robert Vaughn's passed away'
Mrs 'Who?'
Me 'Him from Man From UNCLE'
Mrs 'The big guy?'
Me (wishin I'd never said nothing by now) 'WHAT??!!'
Mrs 'Uncle Buck.....err.....John Candy)
Ffs13 -
The Mrs just text me to ask if it was good luck if a "black bird shits on you"
So many answers.20 -
Yes if it's Halle Berry.6
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Is that the punchline of the "You fart in my Whitbread?" joke?buckshee said:The Mrs just text me to ask if it was good luck if a "black bird shits on you"
So many answers.0 -
But not if it's Rusty Lee.bolloxbolder said:Yes if it's Halle Berry.
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She obviously knows you have no taste in fashion.bexleyaddick said:This can be attributed to any conversation with my wife when she asks my opinion on something;
her 'what dress shall I wear, the blue or the red?', me 'red', her 'I'll wear the blue' .
Drives me mad!1 -
a friend of mine popped round today during the televised fiasco .. 'who's playing' .. 'Charlton' .. 'oh' .. she looked bemused .. 'are they any good ?' .. what can one say to that ? ((:>)1
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Watching David Attenborough on the One Show last night talking about Planet Earth II
Mrs : "Oh, the next one is about street animals"
Me : "Pardon?"
Mrs : "The next one is about street animals, or was it urban animals?"
Me : "I don't know what you are talking about, sorry, trying my absolute hardest here, but I'm lost"
Welsh treacle on the tele : "So, David, the next episode is about city animals, what can we expect to see?"
Me : "I think you may be getting your animals mixed up with your dance genres luv, go to bed"
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Whilst watching Corrie, she's just come out with . . . . .
''That's put the kettle amongst the pigeons''!
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When are you going to get off your fat arse and do some cleaning?0
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Should have popped out and asked the neighbours.BIG_ROB said:Sitting there at the bar having a diet coke the the missus when she came out with this little bobby dazzler
"That tree looks like camouflage"
Then, realising her mistake, tried to style it out with
"Is the word camouflage French?"1 -
You couldn't make it up.maybe_baby said:
the then Prime Minister replaced the song and singer at the last moment and entered his own girlfriendShootersHillGuru said:
Where did it come ?maybe_baby said:Writer and/or singer can be foreign. I was commissioned to write the Belarus entry in 2005.
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My mum during the winter of discontent and a planned night with no power, coach goes past the window all lit up, she says kerry the power back on go and turn the lights on.6
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not original - I think Ken Dodd or some other old comedian came out with that one tears ago.CharltonKerry said:My mum during the winter of discontent and a planned night with no power, coach goes past the window all lit up, she says kerry the power back on go and turn the lights on.
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He might well have done, but if he experienced it then the only explanation was he was sitting in our front room with us, as this actually happened, it was around winter 78/79, But to add a little to the story I actually got up to go over and try. I imagine it happened a lot during that terrible winter.golfaddick said:
not original - I think Ken Dodd or some other old comedian came out with that one tears ago.CharltonKerry said:My mum during the winter of discontent and a planned night with no power, coach goes past the window all lit up, she says kerry the power back on go and turn the lights on.
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Not sure if I’ve posted this before, but my ex wife, whilst on honeymoon in Corfu 1994, looked up at the night sky and asked “ is that the same moon we get at home?”16
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My gf said a few years back, sitting in the car on the way back from Heathrow after returning from a 10 week business trip, 2 weeks in each of the following cities, Beijing, Singapore, Bangkok, Hong Kong, and various others
“I’m so looking forward to a decent Chinese”14 -
The ex had a couple, whilst at a quiz night. Q (along the lines of)-Which Mongal leader forged the largest ancient empire? Ex- oooh I know this one, Jabba the Hut!
The other was 'I do'1 -
Half way into a daytime flight to Chicago - the missus chirps up........
We’re really lucky when we fly in the daytime.....it’s always nice and sunny5
