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Huddersfield v Charlton - FA Cup Preview (from guest author Jim Davidson, Live from the BB House)

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Well this is a pleasant surprise chaps. As most of you know, I’m stuck in the Big Brother house at the moment, wading knee deep through the ego, hatred and unpleasantness from my fellow house guests.

The herberts in ‘ere say that I’m ‘playing a game’. Perhaps I should have a word in Mark Gower and Andy Hughes shell-like and give them a bit of advice. But what a bunch of wrong uns we have in here, I’d get a better reception running round The Den in my Charlton shirt with a flannel, trying to get that 'orrible lot to have a good ol' wash.

Anyway, as a reward for winning a task, they offered me either a romantic dinner for two with Linda, or the chance to write the Charlton Life preview for the next game. As I’d rather stick my sausage in a sandpaper sandwich than eat with Linda, it was a simple choice. So here we go then chaps.

Right, so who we playing then ?

The Slag off the Opposition bit

Huddersfield ? You are s**tting me ? Seriously ? Huddersfield ? Again ??

Linda, turn the ovens on, sweetheart

Blimey, we’ve played Huddersfield more times than I’ve played Buttons. (Oh no we haven’t, Oh yes we have). Thank god I’m locked up in ‘ere, I’d rather take an Ebdons coach trip to Outer Mongolia with my five mother in-laws than face another trip to that place. Have they had central heating installed up there yet since I’ve been in the House ?

Anyway, the producer 'ere tells me that they’ve only lost once at home since 9th November, and have already beaten us twice there this season. What a depressing thought. Defeat at Huddersfield is a bit like a trip to the Clap Clinic. Admit it fellas, you have an acceptance it’s gonna happen at some stage in life, but three times in one season ? Come on.

The Smutty Line Up bit

Well, I’ve always loved a good ol’ fashioned pair of lumps up front, but sadly Racy Casey is stuck in 'ere with me. Have you seen the funbags on that ? Good lord. That’s ‘a rack’ the Yanks would love to invade.

The producer has also said that so many Charlton fans are becoming Anti-Church, there is an Atheist march in Woolwich tomorrow. Despite the lack of goals, poor old Simon should keep his place up front. He’s a trier ain’t he ? Very trying indeed…..

I’ve also heard we’ve managed to sign a Koc since I’ve been in here. Where do i start with that one! I could be genuinely be here all day with that….. :-)

Sir Chris gave Young Poyet his Big Break at Oxford apparently, and it will be interesting to see whether the Zaragoza-born youngster can follow it up with another appearance now that some of the Belgium loan players become available.

The Offensive Five Predictions bit

1. Linda to be back on benefits by May
2. Barnie and his Trust gang to help my mate Dappy's third leg gain ACV status
3. That trappy sort Louisa to have a Covered End turnstile installed in her Lady Garden before her next 'party'
4. My mate AFKA to remove my near-the-knuckle joke about a Young Poy from Spain and replace it with something bland
5. Oh, and we get knocked out the cup by Huddersfield.

There’s more chance of me taking a vow of celibacy than us winning up there. If we could nick nick a draw and bring up back to ‘The Farm’ then that’ll do nicely. I should be out for the replay as well.

And that my South East London brothers, is my lot. I’m logging off and returning to Satan’s armpit to change Lee’s nappy and teach him the proper words to Valley Floyd Road, the soppy wet blanket.

All jokes aside, I’ve had a great time in ‘ere and apparently I’ve been coming over alright. Like Charlton winning 2-0 at home, don’t be surprised if I proper nause it up right at the death.

Thanks for all your support, you really are great people. And as I get older, Charlton Life is fast becoming my favourite place to hang out. Must be the more mature @Fanny :-)

Up the reds ! Wemberleee...

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Cheers Jimbo, all the best squire. So Jim isn't too confident of our chances on Saturday ? How do you see it going ? Same team from Oxford or make changes ?
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Comments

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    edited January 2014
    we're gonna win this one Jim .. a similar side to the winners @ Oxford:

    Huddersfield Town 0 v CAFC 2
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    edited January 2014
    If that is authentic, great piece. If you have ghosted that AFKA still a great piece.

    Having watched both games v Oxford I reckon we will line up 442 something like this,
    Alnwick
    Wilson Morro Dervite Evina
    Green Stephens Cousins Astrit
    Yann Church
    Subs, Thuram Wood Harriott Sordell JJ(due a rest) Pritchard Piggot

    I don't usually do predictions on Charlton but don't be surprised if we are in the hat for the 5th round draw.
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    Ha. Great write up. Red s to nick it one nil. Kermie on 73 mins
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     Barnie and his Trust gang to help my mate Dappy's third leg gain ACV status

    wow....
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    Oi...

    And how did JD get hold of AFKAs login?
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    edited January 2014
    Jim's got it right ;-) ...apart from the result

    Two nil to the addicks
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    Thas has adraw written all over it ,fast becoming a fixture pile-up for SCP. 1-1 and beat them at The Valley.
    Great write up by Jim.
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    Draw and 5th match against Huddersfield
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    edited January 2014
    AFKA, did JD, really write that , or was it Tj's ghost writer?

    Very good though, and I'm going for a confidence boosting super Fa cup soaring 1-0 win to the Addicks, Yann the man to oblige again.
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    2-0 Huddersfield Vaughan and Norwood. I never have faith with us in yorkshire?
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    Unfortunately we are a bit too predictable - 1-0 to Huddersfield - dodgy penalty!
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    Love it! I don't know how you managed to swing this, but well done. Sadly, I agree with Jim about the result, though :-(
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    Think we might just nick nick this one.
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    brilliant write up! draw i think
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    Banter


    But back to reality , they're better than us
    2-0 to the Hudders

    but it won't matter to those travelling there for the 3rd time this season(from the south) because in their dream world we always win , nutters !!!
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    Good stuff AFKA.

    Let's hope we go into the away dressing room and not frank Carson's dressing room.
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    I have a feeling we might sneak this.
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    no idea what Jim is on about but I defend the right of AFKA to say it :)
    difficult selection with the Donny match next week, I guess that he won't risk any player not 100% fit and will include the SL players on the bench plus our new striker. We rarely do well at the JS and nor will we, draw is the best but I fear a defeat and if that helps us beat Donny then so be it.
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    Thoroughly enjoyed that - cheers Jim. Nick nick a surprising 1 1 draw, it's the competition where form and fortune can be turned on its head after all.
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    1-0 Huddersfield and an absolutely brilliant preview mate
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    I fancy a 1-1 for this one
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    Great preview

    I fancy a shut out, 0-0 draw and we go mad and open the north upper for cup fever in the replay
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    Let's go for it...Nothing to lose
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    A championship team normally has a good run, why not us?

    Praps.
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    2-2
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    Very good preview.

    Hudds to win 2-0.
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    Only positive will be this match counts in wiggins suspension.
    3-0 to the 'udders
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    edited January 2014
    Charlton Athletic FC ‏@CAFCofficial 1m
    CP, on FA Cup: It could galvanise our season. It has been a tough road so far this year, but we will stay on that road. #pressday (IL) #cafc

    Charlton Athletic FC ‏@CAFCofficial 1m
    CP, on @htafcdotcom: Let's do our best to get through that tie and see where it takes us. #pressday (IL) #cafc
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    Cliche overload there, football managers must have to go on a course for it.
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