I am calling you from Windows Technical support

Clem_Snide said:

My old boss had this at work. She ended up putting iton speaker phone. Had the bloke on the phone for about 20mins. He was getting excited as he clearly thought he'd caught someone out.

He started to get annoyed when it dragged on and hung up when my boss came out with the following "I don't know much about Windows XP, does the fact that the apple on the back of my laptop is glowing, mean it has a virus?"

I had some great fun with the Microsoft Technical Support man. He told me that my computer was running slow, so I agreed. I then told him I was a bit busy but was thankful for his help. I said that my job was listening to music quality and that a fast running computer would help me. I played him some music and said that an expert like him could probably tell that my computer was running slow from the music quality. He agreed. I said I was busy for a few minutes and asked if he could hold on. He held on. I kept saying I would only be one more minute. He said it was OK. I then asked his opinion of a track I was playing. He was said he wanted to get on with logging into my computer so that he could sort out its problem. I insisted he listened to another track. He said OK. I asked his opinion of the track. "Very nice", he said. "Now, can I repair your computer?", he asked. I said I just needed to make a cup of tea as I had not had a drink all morning. I asked him what type of tea he preferred. I asked him if he liked Earl Grey. I said I would only be 5 minutes while I made a cup of tea. I came back with my cup of tea and asked him if he ever drunk coffee. He asked if we could start mending my machine. I asked him if he liked Pink Floyd and would like to hear some more tracks. The rude wotsit hung up on me.

Always great fun these guys. Try to keep them hanging on for ever - then if I'm feeling particularly cruel I'll either say I can't open windows because it's raining before mentioning that I run Linux.
Once I told them they were through to a Garden Gnome Sales hotline and asked them how many they wanted and in what colours and did they have their credit card number handy. You can keep at it for a while because they tend not to know what garden gnomes are and you have to ask to explain to their supervisor.

I can often recognise nuisance callers with my phone that displays the callers number. I've had some fun when answering their calls with "Dereham prison" which sends them into a spin, the last time this happened the caller asked for me by name, to which I replied - "Is he an officer or an inmate" and my pain in the neck caller hung up.
A friend suggested just leaving the telephone 'off the hook' which prevents callers from using that line. Obviously this prevents incoming calls, but I get some satisfaction knowing these callers are unable to use this line.

Total scam.

I had that same Microsoft phone call a couple of years ago.

As soon as I mentioned that I'm a Tech Support Analyst, that all my home PCs are kept virus free and that they were talking out of the back of their hat (that's a polite translation) I heard the dial tone.....

However it's a nasty scam and one which seriously screws over those who don't know any better, so spread the word not to fall for it - particularly with elderly relatives.

Get plenty of these calls, and when i'm in the mood like to wind them up. Sometimes i'll play the 89-year-old, will rabbit on that "we've just had new windows fitted", etc. A pleasure to waste their time...

Rizzo said:

I never get these and I'm feeling a bit left out!

Don't feel left out. Give me your number and I will ask them to put you on their telephone "mailing" list!

'Yes it was me, I was killed in a car accident!'