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Names that aren't names

On another thread I went miles off topic by mentioning that Che was not Guevara's name, which was Ernesto. Che being just a nickname meaning, possibly, mate.
It got me thinking there must be more of these. My favourites so far are Plato, real name Aristocles. Plato is a nickname, it means broad or as we would say today lard arse.
And then there's Pocahontas, real name Matoaka. Pocahontas is a nickname meaning little wanton. I wonder if Disney knew their cartoons could have been called Little Slut and Little Slut 2?
Any more?


  • Sweaty, unknown to many his real name was actually name Stuart.
  • bobmunro said:

    Alan Pardew's real name is Dick Head.

    Strangely, I knew someone called Richard Head.
  • Pepe Reina, his name is Jose

    Didi Hamman, fucking Dietmar
  • This season can't start quick enough
  • Naby Sarr

    Is actually Mohammed Naby Sarr
  • Many Brazilian footballers, ie Pele etc...
  • Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi was given the honorary title Mahatma.
  • Master Bates, Seaman Staines and Roger the cabin boy - simply did not exist.

    John Ryan successfully sued both the Sunday Correspondent and The Guardian newspapers in 1991 for printing this legend as fact. The origin of this myth is likely due to student rag mags from the 1970s.
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  • cafcfan said:

    bobmunro said:

    Alan Pardew's real name is Dick Head.

    Strangely, I knew someone called Richard Head.
    You know Pardew?
  • bobmunro said:

    Alan Pardew's real name is Dick Head.

    Oh wow, he shares the same name as Ian Dowie. What a coincidence!
    No, his name is Prematurely Sako'd.
  • Lance Armstrong is actually Cheating Git
  • Ruud Gullit's real name is Rudi Dil.

    Can't remember exactly why, but think "Dil" means shit or similar in Dutch, so he changed his name. Something like that anyway.

    Rude Shit has a certain ring to it.
  • Lots of people call me Wanker but it's not really my real name.
  • One I always remember is the Sheen family. Martin Sheen (stage name) is actually called Ramon Estevez. Father is Spanish, mother is Irish (Tipperary).
    Three children, mostly notably Emilio Estevez has kept their name. But Carlos Estevez changed his like his fathers, and is known as Charlie Sheen.
    Nicolas Kim Coppola is another one (Nicolas Cage), who changed his name because he did not want to get famous reliant on his uncles name (Francis Ford Coppola - Godfather Director ).
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