If I were King or Queen.
You get to create/amend 5 laws only, they can be as important or as futile as you like, after all, you are King:-
If I was King I would:-
Bring back the death penalty for first degree murder and kiddie fiddlers.
Make all cyclists fall in line with other road users, take a test, register their bikes adding number plates, have insurance, pay for the roads they use with road tax.
Abolish 'positive discrimination', the best person for the job, irrespective of gender, colour, religion etc.
No person should be able to own more than one property. At the passing of this law, if you own more than one property you have to choose which one you want to keep, the others get sold to house the homeless, and of the money you make from the sale 75% goes to charity.
Introduce the 'Slap' law. If someone is being a complete prick or has ripped you off, then you get to choose whether they get fined or a bloody good slap.
BTW - No one can challenge my laws, 'cos i'm the bloody King and I would put you in the tower.
Comments
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I'd randomly walk down the road and point at random people saying... Awwf with his head
Create a fake competition for the fittest woman in the World and put them in a harem
Create a secret law which says the Charlton result must be whatever I say it should be, force Charlton to lose 5-0 at Newport County and then quietly come on here and manically laugh at everyone self exploding with rage at such a performance5 -
If I was King I would:-
Probably die of veneral disease within a year.5 -
Decree that the name "Palace" should only apply to a royal residence and that any business using the name be shut down forthwith.
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DaveMehmet said:
Decree that the name "Palace" should only apply to a royal residence and that any business using the name be shot forthwith.
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Ban Belgians with the surname's of Meire or Dutchatalet from entering, or being involved with anything to do in the UK2
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I'd appoint Sam Allyadyce as Prime Minister5
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Greenie said;
"Introduce the 'Slap' law. If someone is being a complete prick or has ripped you off, then you get to choose whether they get fined or a bloody good slap."
A bit watered down but I used to know a chap who run a fare sized company, (sort of king in his world), He would give his clients "Stupidity" fines when he thought they should know better and he also had a "Rudeness " fine, which cost double the Stupidity fine, each time a client upset or offended him or one of his employees.
He used to ring me and tell me the price of the job has just gone up because of my managers attitude on a regular basis. 100 hours work would be upped to 110 in an instant, leaving me to make up excuses as to why.
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Where would you get the money from to buy the houses to house the homeless? You'd have to find billions of pounds to buy them, before giving 3/4 of that away to charity and screwing both the owner and any tenants who'd get turfed straight out so a homeless guy can live there, making thise people homeless instead?Greenie said:Was a little bored at work, what laws would you make if you were King/Queen. Before the sad pedants say that only Parliament creates/passes laws, its just a bit of fun.
You get to create/amend 5 laws only, they can be as important or as futile as you like, after all, you are King:-
If I was King I would:-
No person should be able to own more than one property. At the passing of this law, if you own more than one property you have to choose which one you want to keep, the others get sold to house the homeless, and of the money you make from the sale 75% goes to charity.
I could just about understand if you'd just said no second homes so that there is more affordable housing (though in practice we need landlords as not everyone could afford to buy even then), but this doesn't make any sense.
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Don't argue or rationalise, I'm the bloody King,.......of to the tower with you......peasant.North Lower Neil said:
Where would you get the money from to buy the houses to house the homeless? You'd have to find billions of pounds to buy them, before giving 3/4 of that away to charity and screwing both the owner and any tenants who'd get turfed straight out so a homeless guy can live there, making thise people homeless instead?Greenie said:Was a little bored at work, what laws would you make if you were King/Queen. Before the sad pedants say that only Parliament creates/passes laws, its just a bit of fun.
You get to create/amend 5 laws only, they can be as important or as futile as you like, after all, you are King:-
If I was King I would:-
No person should be able to own more than one property. At the passing of this law, if you own more than one property you have to choose which one you want to keep, the others get sold to house the homeless, and of the money you make from the sale 75% goes to charity.
I could just about understand if you'd just said no second homes so that there is more affordable housing (though in practice we need landlords as not everyone could afford to buy even then), but this doesn't make any sense.
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I like how you highlighted this law and not the overall fact that it'll be impossible for @Greenie to become KingNorth Lower Neil said:
Where would you get the money from to buy the houses to house the homeless? You'd have to find billions of pounds to buy them, before giving 3/4 of that away to charity and screwing both the owner and any tenants who'd get turfed straight out so a homeless guy can live there, making thise people homeless instead?Greenie said:Was a little bored at work, what laws would you make if you were King/Queen. Before the sad pedants say that only Parliament creates/passes laws, its just a bit of fun.
You get to create/amend 5 laws only, they can be as important or as futile as you like, after all, you are King:-
If I was King I would:-
No person should be able to own more than one property. At the passing of this law, if you own more than one property you have to choose which one you want to keep, the others get sold to house the homeless, and of the money you make from the sale 75% goes to charity.
I could just about understand if you'd just said no second homes so that there is more affordable housing (though in practice we need landlords as not everyone could afford to buy even then), but this doesn't make any sense.
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Well we're dealing in hypotheticals, and hypothetically speaking that law is stupid.ForeverAddickted said:
I like how you highlighted this law and not the overall fact that it'll be impossible for @Greenie to become KingNorth Lower Neil said:
Where would you get the money from to buy the houses to house the homeless? You'd have to find billions of pounds to buy them, before giving 3/4 of that away to charity and screwing both the owner and any tenants who'd get turfed straight out so a homeless guy can live there, making thise people homeless instead?Greenie said:Was a little bored at work, what laws would you make if you were King/Queen. Before the sad pedants say that only Parliament creates/passes laws, its just a bit of fun.
You get to create/amend 5 laws only, they can be as important or as futile as you like, after all, you are King:-
If I was King I would:-
No person should be able to own more than one property. At the passing of this law, if you own more than one property you have to choose which one you want to keep, the others get sold to house the homeless, and of the money you make from the sale 75% goes to charity.
I could just about understand if you'd just said no second homes so that there is more affordable housing (though in practice we need landlords as not everyone could afford to buy even then), but this doesn't make any sense.1 -
Does that mean you approve the laws I wish to pass?North Lower Neil said:
Well we're dealing in hypotheticals, and hypothetically speaking that law is stupid.ForeverAddickted said:
I like how you highlighted this law and not the overall fact that it'll be impossible for @Greenie to become KingNorth Lower Neil said:
Where would you get the money from to buy the houses to house the homeless? You'd have to find billions of pounds to buy them, before giving 3/4 of that away to charity and screwing both the owner and any tenants who'd get turfed straight out so a homeless guy can live there, making thise people homeless instead?Greenie said:Was a little bored at work, what laws would you make if you were King/Queen. Before the sad pedants say that only Parliament creates/passes laws, its just a bit of fun.
You get to create/amend 5 laws only, they can be as important or as futile as you like, after all, you are King:-
If I was King I would:-
No person should be able to own more than one property. At the passing of this law, if you own more than one property you have to choose which one you want to keep, the others get sold to house the homeless, and of the money you make from the sale 75% goes to charity.
I could just about understand if you'd just said no second homes so that there is more affordable housing (though in practice we need landlords as not everyone could afford to buy even then), but this doesn't make any sense.
I would make you Prime Minister if so but seeing there will be King Neil and Prime Minister Neil, people might get us confused so fraid you'll have to settle for the job of Court Jester0 -
I'd make Gareth Gates England manager3
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Prostitution legal
Prostitution free
Prostitution mandatory
King gets first choice on all prostitutes
Weekly STD tests15 -
i'd advocate and make @ValleyGary KingValleyGary said:Prostitution legal
Prostitution free
Prostitution mandatory
King gets first choice on all prostitutes
Weekly STD tests
(obviously Gareth Gates would be on a 37 year contract by this point)3 -
Yes, all the others have been fine!ForeverAddickted said:
Does that mean you approve the laws I wish to pass?North Lower Neil said:
Well we're dealing in hypotheticals, and hypothetically speaking that law is stupid.ForeverAddickted said:
I like how you highlighted this law and not the overall fact that it'll be impossible for @Greenie to become KingNorth Lower Neil said:
Where would you get the money from to buy the houses to house the homeless? You'd have to find billions of pounds to buy them, before giving 3/4 of that away to charity and screwing both the owner and any tenants who'd get turfed straight out so a homeless guy can live there, making thise people homeless instead?Greenie said:Was a little bored at work, what laws would you make if you were King/Queen. Before the sad pedants say that only Parliament creates/passes laws, its just a bit of fun.
You get to create/amend 5 laws only, they can be as important or as futile as you like, after all, you are King:-
If I was King I would:-
No person should be able to own more than one property. At the passing of this law, if you own more than one property you have to choose which one you want to keep, the others get sold to house the homeless, and of the money you make from the sale 75% goes to charity.
I could just about understand if you'd just said no second homes so that there is more affordable housing (though in practice we need landlords as not everyone could afford to buy even then), but this doesn't make any sense.
I would make you Prime Minister if so but seeing there will be King Neil and Prime Minister Neil, people might get us confused so fraid you'll have to settle for the job of Court Jester2 -
Any foreign national found guilty of a criminal offence (not things like speeding fines or drunk and disorderly) to be immediately deported after serving their sentence - No exceptions or appeals
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If you're caught letting your dog shit in a public place then you are forced to eat it5
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is that without cleaning it up?Addicted said:If you're caught letting your dog shit in a public place then you are forced to eat it
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www.charltonlife.com.kp0
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Bring back conscription
Make all able benefits seekers work for the council to claim (either litter picking, garden services, painting etc)
Make entrance to this country a points system for all not just Non EU members
Make anybody claiming life destroying claims such as Rape that are proved false serve a prison sentence of minimum 2 years3 -
New law - facetious comments would result in immediate beheading0
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This reminds me of a story my dad told me. He was doing some consultancy work for an architecture firm who were building a house for a director of a top football club. The senior partner, knowing my dad was a football fan, asked if he wanted to go to a game with him that weekend and when dad said yes he asked the director for some tickets.charltonkeston said:Greenie said;
"Introduce the 'Slap' law. If someone is being a complete prick or has ripped you off, then you get to choose whether they get fined or a bloody good slap."
A bit watered down but I used to know a chap who run a fare sized company, (sort of king in his world), He would give his clients "Stupidity" fines when he thought they should know better and he also had a "Rudeness " fine, which cost double the Stupidity fine, each time a client upset or offended him or one of his employees.
He used to ring me and tell me the price of the job has just gone up because of my managers attitude on a regular basis. 100 hours work would be upped to 110 in an instant, leaving me to make up excuses as to why.
Anyway, they got to the game and went up to the hospitality desk to pick up the tickets and when they did they woman behind the desk said, "that will be £800, will you be paying by card or in cash". The senior partner clearly wasn't expecting that, but paid for the tickets nonetheless. Later that day my dad tried to offer him to pay for his half of the tickets, but the senior partner just replied "oh don't worry about that, that's just made his new home £20,000 more expensive".6 -
Up the tax rate to 50% for earnings over £1m a year and abolish "non-dom" status .
Re-nationalise the railways.
Double the threshold of inheritance tax.
Remove charitable status from private schools.
Ban Simon Cowell.6 -
In the interests of balance:Algarveaddick said:Up the tax rate to 50% for earnings over £1m a year and abolish "non-dom" status .
Re-nationalise the railways.
Double the threshold of inheritance tax.
Remove charitable status from private schools.
Ban Simon Cowell.
Zero rate income tax on earnings above £200,000
Encourage 'non-dom' status
Privatise the NHS
Abolish inheritance tax
Introduce state funding for private schools
Knight Simon Cowell
Seriously I would sell the Crown Jewels and all the palaces (burn one particular palace down), abolish the monarchy, and buy a little place abroad (Bermuda for example).3 -
I would banish Miranda Hart and Sarah Millican.3
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Give my self a bloody hard slap.
I married the wrong sister.
What on earth was i thinking?5 -
Great we've got Norwich fans posting on here now!!smudge7946 said:Give my self a bloody hard slap.
I married the wrong sister.
What on earth was i thinking?15 -
1. All professional clubs to have mandatory men's and women's teams. All results to be determined by accumulating 45 minutes of men's football and 45 minutes of women's football. In either order. Gender-neutral players and women can play for either team.
2. It is illegal to earn more than £100,000 per year. Any more is just greed, and the surplus goes straight to a government (royal) fund, where it will be spent on infrastructure, helping the needy and foreign aid.
3. Immediate ban on greenfield building sites except for alternative energy sourcing.
4. Intensive farming techniques outlawed and a 20% minimum of farmland to be wildlife-friendly.
5. Children cannot be made to do meaningful exams below the age of thirteen. Actually, all exams to be abolished, fuck it (this would put me out of my current job, but hell, I'm King now)2
