Roland Duchâtelet’s 70th birthday (Day -1)

Stig · November 2016

I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
I've come to wish you an unhappy birthday
'Cause you're evil
And you lie
And if you should die
I may feel slightly sad
(But I won't cry)

And before the thought police go chasing me, they're not my words, they're Mozza's.

Draizetrain · November 2016

Reckon that DVD should go on general sale. Nice little Christmas stocking filler for the mother-in-law...

CARD · November 2016

It's BDAY -4

The weather is turning. A touch of winter is in the air. Cold. Damp. Autumn moving past it’s glorious kaleidoscopic best into the brown, mushy debris of late November......

That’s enough of that poetic stuff.

Morning M. Duchatelet!

You're obviously worried about the weather over here. Come on now, Belgium isn’t that much different from the UK, meteorologically speaking. You should be used to a bit of cold and damp by now.

Never mind. Charlton fans are nothing if not generous and we are quite famous for looking after those in need.

And that's no different even for you. So we have two presents for you today!

A nice new black and white scarf. That will help keep you warm up in the North Upper. Don’t worry that it’s a different colour from the team shirts, we are sure that a friendly neighbouring fan will take the trouble to explain that for you.

And, and, and………

Yes! A brand new pack of Duck Tape! You’ll be able to ensure that your footwear is fully functional and waterproof before you come.

That must surely take care of all of your sartorial requirements. Let’s be having you, Roland! You will be coming, won’t you?

Watch out for another special present combo tomorrow…..

Missed It · November 2016

I'd give him a copy of the 2015-16 season highlights video in case he missed any games. Oh, hang on, maybe not...

RedChaser · November 2016

Morning Roly, I've got a bit of a problem with your new Kat (sic) I've bought you, she's not keen;

Leave it with me though, I'll try and coax her round.

Coyotejohn1947 · November 2016

@Coyote John and @Stig have together managed to elicit the currently embargoed and secret birthday greeting from Thomas and Daisy which they have prepared for publication following his birthday .

Voila as Katrien might say!!

CARD · November 2016

So, we are nearly all set, Roland.

It’s getting close now. It’s BDAY -3 and as soon as you know it, the weekend will be over and the big day will have arrived. The BIG 7 - O.

No! Don’t upset yourself. That isn’t the latest defeat. No, we only lost on penalties at Colchester. No, they aren’t a Premier League team so it’s not “not so bad, really”. They are in League 2. Yes, League 2. Yes, there are more leagues below us!

Tell you what, let’s meet up when you come over for Sheffield United and we’ll explain all about English football to you. Deal?

Anyway…….

We gave a lot of thought to today’s presents. You obviously want to blend in with us real addicks as much as possible so we need to take that into account. And you are clearly a man who likes to keep himself in shape. We can help with that too. How’s your throwing arm?

Because today, we have a bumper pack of projectiles for you! A nice, big black and white beachball, a lovely little stress ball and one of our adorable little pink pigs.

The idea is that you stick them down your pants on the way into the ground so the underlings can’t get them and then, just as the game starts, you lob them as far as you can on the pitch. Got it?

Oh, and you also bellow “ we want, er, me, out”. Ok?

More tomorrow…….

Davo55 · November 2016

I would like to give him a brochure for a nice retirement community - nice and remote - and hope he takes the hint.

cafcwill · November 2016

What about a protest bib?

Fanny Fanackapan · November 2016

Davo55 said:
I would like to give him a brochure for a nice retirement community - nice and remote - and hope he takes the hint.

To accompany said brochure, I'd include a gift wrapped pack of Large Pampers Pull Ups.

Davo55 · November 2016

Fanny Fanackapan said:

Davo55 said:
I would like to give him a brochure for a nice retirement community - nice and remote - and hope he takes the hint.
To accompany said brochure, I'd include a gift wrapped pack of Large Pampers Pull Ups.

There speaks the voice of experience....

RedChaser · November 2016

Afternoon Roly, sorry I'm late on parade today, had a bit of a lie in.

As you know Kat (sic) wasn't happy at the prospect of being gifted to you for your birthday and things have become even more complicated, she has another suitior. Leave it with me though I'm still confident that I can talk her round.

Athletico Charlton · November 2016

We lost on penalties to Colchester. What, news to me!

I saw a comment somewhere it ended 1-1 and stopped paying any more attention.

Does that mean we are out of the checkthenameasihaveforgotten trophy?

Gutted.

addix · November 2016

CARD said:
Our illustrious but decidedly eccentric owner reaches his 70th birthday next week, on Monday 14th November. And CARD will be helping to mark the occasion.

Every day this week, we will be unveiling a birthday gift and then a special surprise next Sunday.

Meanwhile, let’s have some of your ideas, Charlton fans. What would you like to give Roland for his birthday, if you could? But best keep it fairly polite. You never know who is following every word on here.......

I read that Groupon are offering discounts on Dignitas Gift Cards...

Chippycafc · November 2016

mrbligh said:
Birthday suit

You can get those ovens to fit between cabinets today

JamesSeed · November 2016

How about a nice copy of The Jimmy Seed Story? Your CEO might not be interested in the history of the club, but maybe you are?

Perhaps you'll read it and come over all misty eyed, and suddenly want to visit The Valley regularly, and bond with those special fans who have suffered so much in their pursuit of their dreams for the club. Maybe you'll even come to share their vision, who knows.

And I'll even throw in a signed copy of my super rare 'James Seed, Football Manager' (less than 40 copies in existence), but only if you allow the Chief Executive and the internet scout to find employment elsewhere.

Cheers and Happy Birthday,

Jimmy Dutton (You know who's grandson)

CARD · November 2016

It’s BDAY -2.

All this week we have been revealing a set of birthday gifts for Duchatelet.

All very clearly, with tongue firmly in cheek.

But behind the playful style and the light humour there are some serious messages.

We don’t want an absentee owner. We may only represent 1.5% of your business interests but Charlton Athletic deserves more respect and more personal attention. Charlton fans demand an owner with emotional commitment.

During your tenure, you have:

- seen Charlton relegated
- wasted millions of pounds
- lost 4,000 season ticket holders;
- experienced unprecedented levels of protests by thousands of normally laid back fans and not just a radical minority
- attracted widespread condemnation and ridicule from the football world and the media in general.

Why? Maybe you should come and see for yourself. Come and see what a mess your inexperienced and incompetent chief executive is making of running this club. Come and see the fans that love this club so much they are prepared to fight for it, with all their heart and soul.

Small changes this season are much too little, much too late. The position with fans is irretrievable.

So, no presents today. Just a birthday card.

The words inside read:

Birthday Greetings M. Duchatelet.

On the occasion of your 70th birthday may we please request a gift?

Please sell our club.

Your ownership of Charlton Athletic can surely bring you no pleasure.

It brings us only misery.

Please sell up and make our birthday wishes come true.

C.A.R.D.

on behalf of thousands of Charlton fans across the world.

That card will be on it’s way to you soon.

No more jokes.

stonemuse · November 2016

Lol love the pic

soapy_jones · November 2016

Step into the light Roland... into the light!

RedChaser · November 2016

Morning Roly, it's not good news I'm afraid I've been trying my hardest to persuade your birthday gift Kat (sic) you'll be a caring, loving owner and you'll look after her but she's digging her claws in. I'll keep you posted.

Cardinal Sin · November 2016

Very good. See he's made the effort in black and white..

oohaahmortimer · November 2016

Stop pissing about with our football lives you idiot , sell the club and do us all a favour .
Hope you have a rotten birthday and a rotten life cos you've fucked up mine and my kids football life and I can't forgive you you twat

FORD · November 2016

If he's watching the Swindon match then that'll be his birthday ruined. Very much doubt he is...as he only has 1.5% of his time for us...not enough for even a Huh!