Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.
RDs first email to Karl Robinson
CAFCTrev
Posts: 5,982
"...unfortunately the £10 million gained from the Lookman sale is allocated to the ongoing Sparrows Lane development. We have a contract with Burnley to provide them with 2 players every season and SL will support this. With regard to recruitment our chief scout Mr. Driesen, has been extensively playing FIFA Ultimate Team and from there has identified several players in the game who are currently out of contract in real life."
What else do you think was in this email?
What else do you think was in this email?
23
Comments
-
"...It is recommended that in the event of a red card to your goalkeeper, you immediately substitute one of your outfield players and bring on another goalkeeper to replace him, unless you have made all substitutions already, in which case I don't know, Mr. Driesen says he tried playing without a goalkeeper for 20 minutes on FIFA Ultimate Team and he only conceded twice, so maybe give it a go."33
-
"Ah, Mr Driesen has just reminded me that Magennis once played in goal so there is no need to have a substitute keeper. And from our statistics, Solly has an excellent goal to shot ratio so he can cover at centre forward in the case of that eventuality."11
-
' I have noticed from reading the newspaper that teams that play with foreign players, I am thinking of Lionel Messi for one, are more successful than teams with English players, like MK Dons AFC, where you used to be the servant. As you were at MK Dons AFC for so long ( why were they not able to fire you before they did?) you may not know that foreign players are allowed in (until Brexit ha ha). I have attached a list of foreign players, many of them play in Belgium and I have read about them in the newspapers and in my list of employees.
They will need to be trained and I have a Belgian trainer who knows the special things that work with them, like a good diet and regular exercise. Do not think I am dictating to you but if you pick 11 of them that is the optimum number for a soccer team. You may want to place them in lines across the pitch so that they do not all run after the ball at the same time as I have observed young people doing in my local park when I am driven through it. I will be watching for you on the live stream when you play MK Dons AFC on Sunday, so please give me the traditonal English wave with your two fingers I always get from the good Charlton fans.'16 -
"We also understand that fans disliked Mr Slades negative football, so Mr Driesen has suggested a maximum of three backpasses to the goalie per game. If we have used 3 already, the defender can just kick it out for a corner. Oh and by suggest, we mean telling. Make note of that for future correspondence. Mr Driesen will definitely count the backpasses by the way. "3
-
Quarter of crispy aromatic duck
Chicken Chow Mein
Crispy chilli beef
King prawn sate
Special fried rice
Seaweed
6 -
it was probably just a picture of his cock.
"you like huh?"14 -
"In order to get an idea of how Charlton were successful in the 97/98 season, I have deployed a team to the Valley to install FIFA 98 on one of the office PCs. Mr Driesen is supervising this, and Ill keep you updated."9
-
"...please use the following instructions in order to be able to suck an egg..."2
-
However here is £50 million pounds to get any players you require to achieve promotion. Now I need to go as my hospital appointment is due. I have run out of my pills.0
-
Please note we have taken extra steps to save some money... the fans were mocking the hexagonal goal nets so we've decided to get rid of them along with the corner flags and goal posts. Going forward the players will be required to position their coats and bags where the removed items used to sit.0
-
Sponsored links:
-
I want you to play a 4-4-4 formation. We should easily overpower teams this way according to Mowg.....sorry our chief scout. Make it so! We have a keeper with no arms who is better than Rudd. Play him!!!2
-
Some of the better Belgian teams wear studs on their boots. These give more traction and can help players to run and turn more quickly without slipping over. I'm told they are very good in wet conditions {...} and I know the weather can be very wet in England - that's why I never go there, Huh {...}. Have you thought about telling the Sharlton players about this, it might be useful to them. Apparently you can buy shoes with studs on them in modern sport shops, but to save money, I'd recommend sticking some old wine corks the to bottom of your plimsolls using duck tape.
It must be a big day for you on Saturday, facing your old team. Well don't worry, I'll hev the team sheet to you by 1pm. If things aren't going so well on they day don't worry you can always do what I do. Find a little restaurant and have a live feed while the match is on. Chimay and mussels, that's the way to live.15 -
Dear Karl,
I recently had to gaffa tape my shoes back together so dont go crying about lack of funds for a midfielder that can read a football match to the press. I will be happy however to supply a crayon drawing to our existing fit midfield of the sort of thing i require.
Anything else, the useless looking article that swans in around 11am twice a week will be happy to fuck up.
The clock is ticking.
Roland4 -
Karl,
Over in Belgium, one of the players is called a goalkeeper, he wears a different colour shirt and is allowed to handle (use his hands) the ball. Please ensure this happens on Saturday.
Roland9 -
'Also, I noticed that in one of our recent games an attacking player was 'caught offside'. This occurs when, at the point at which the ball is played forward there are fewer than..well...it's quite complicated and our chief scout can show you with the salt, pepper and mayo. Please be on the next Eurostar. (A Eurostar is a type of train. Our chief scout tells me that you can get one from St Pancras (that's a type of station)).'11
-
Karl
My statistical analysis shows that League One is conquered by having a strong spine in the team. The formation this week should be a 1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1-1 line up. We might be vulnerable down the flanks but we will be invincible down the middle.10 -
Dear Karl,
I've just seen your contract. WTF? Excuse my French. I said to give you a two-and-a-half month contract and that dozy bint put years! You won't mind sorting it out by resigning at the end of January, will you?
Your pal on in Belgium,
Roland3 -
KAREL,
Great to have you back, hope you and Katrien are getting along. Was great to see you, and man your looking well, couple of pounds gone on and you seem to have forgotten how to speak Flemish ? Anyway, keep up the good work, we get the team sheet to you by 10 on Saturday morning. An KAREL, never forget, get the lads to spread out a bit !
All best Roland10 -
Dear Karl,
This article is about the overall concept of games called football. For specific versions of the game, the balls themselves and other uses of the term, see Football (disambiguation).
Several codes of football. Images, from top down, left to right: association football, Australian rules football, international rules football, a rugby union scrum, rugby league, and American football.
Football is a family of team sports that involve, to varying degrees, kicking a ball with the foot to score a goal. Unqualified, the word football is understood to refer to whichever form of football is the most popular in the regional context in which the word appears. Sports commonly called 'football' in certain places include: association football (known as soccer in some countries); gridiron football (specifically American football or Canadian football); Australian rules football; rugby football (either rugby league or rugby union); and Gaelic football.[1][2] These different variations of football are known as football codes.
Various forms of football can be identified in history, often as popular peasant games. Contemporary codes of football can be traced back to the codification of these games at English public schools during the nineteenth century.[3][4]
{...} etc.2 -
Dear Karl,
As i'm sure you've been very busy i've taken liberties again and got our chief scout to do analysis on your opposition for Saturday as I suspect you haven't had time.
He said they aren't very good, in fact below average, their last manager was really poor apparently, we've had a few of these over the last few years, how difficult can it be to follow simple instructions? He also says we are more than average so you shouldn't have any trouble winning this. He played the game out on his playstation thingy and got a 7-1 win so I've got my wife to put a £100,000 on that result.
He's also suggested due to their inefficiencies you may want to experiment with the following lineup
We kick off (don't lose the toss, double headed coin in the Ref's draw so make sure Johnnie calls heads this time) in a 4411 formation and just run towards their end, much like they do in Rugby. The group should form as we push up in a 2242 formation with the 4 in the famous rectangular position (it's like a square but wider), whoever is the quickest should go first so i've arranged a 100m dash test for Friday. If at any point during the game the opposition get the ball then everyone should run back in a 721 formation, or was it 127, I can't recall now, he says thats the best defensive unit you can have anyway and sure you understand what he means.
He mentioned that O'laughlin has a better voice than you so he should give the orders from the touchline, Karel had a lot of success with the instruction 'spread out' so you might want to get Chris to try that, in fact maybe you should sit up with Katrien in the box by the window and help her entertain the other managers we have coming to the games, do keep an eye out for any fans hanging their washing above though, they are a 'weird' lot of people down there, who'd bring their washing to football to hang out to dry, the only thing we hang out to dry at charlton are out managers. Last time it was bed sheets with arrows on, do people really need direction to where the bed is over there?
Anyway, good luck with it, i'll be over next week to the sparrows den facility and can run through some instructions I have for you. I'll probably email you during the game with some further instructions anyway so please keep your company smartphone with you and hand it back to security before you leave the ground, we don't want these emails getting into the wrong hands.
Lastly, a lot of Charlton fans I think were from Europe as since the brexit business they can't come anymore so we'll only open two stands, should be plenty as Katrien has been a great success as you know and with the 20k group we seem to have now finally reached our target of 20,000 empty seats, she's a real achiever is my Katrien. Don't know what i'd do without her, thank god I met her in that night club when I did.
Yours
Roly.6 -
Sponsored links:
-
Hello Karl, just to let you know, whatever you need just ask, but when I say ask I mean whisper, but then again when I say whisper I mean stick up your jacksy, hope that's okay, tough if it's not, all my love uncle R. X0
-
How do you know uncle Roland keeps chickens?cafcdave123 said:it was probably just a picture of his cock.
"you like huh?"1 -
Why isn't Thuram in goal ?1
-
Dear Karl,
Please can you place on Ebay anything left in the office from the previous incumbent. This will form the basis of your January transfer fund*
Best reagrds,
RolAND
0 -
The 33M debt owed to Stayprixks relates exclusively to Mr Driesen's purchases of ultimate team coins.CAFCTrev said:"...unfortunately the £10 million gained from the Lookman sale is allocated to the ongoing Sparrows Lane development. We have a contract with Burnley to provide them with 2 players every season and SL will support this. With regard to recruitment our chief scout Mr. Driesen, has been extensively playing FIFA Ultimate Team and from there has identified several players in the game who are currently out of contract in real life."
What else do you think was in this email?
Unfortunately he has only managed to pull Peter Parsley and Nabby Sarr from all those packs, is currently bottom of Division 10 but we have learnt from our mistakes.1 -
Karl,
Thomas has been scouting this weeks opponents Milton Keynes extensively on football manager and goals on 5. To put it bluntly he knows them better than you and will send you the team and formation for the weekend on Friday.
Regards,
Roland
PS - If you're getting a taxi watch out for that pesky red and yellow one.2 -
Corrected for you ...cafcdave123 said:it was probably just a picture of his
cockAnil Koc
"you like huh?"
1 -
"Due to research, and discussions with Sir Thomas Driesden MBE, we will no longer be providing £5,000,000 in transfer budget for January. We have discovered, FIFA Ultimate Team coins will be more economical. Please liaise with Thomas, what players you like the look of, and are under 450 FUT coins."1
-
'Karl, thanks for travelling to Paris to meet with me. I found it difficult to understand then a word you said other than your clear enthusiasm for doing what I say.
As we say in Belgium, a shoe is not dead while the sole survives.
I am pleased you have taken my suggestion to keep Chris onboard.
I think there are many cheap players in Europe and Driesen can help you with finding a football team organisation for the games that utilises the best of this cheaper talent.
I know you will work with Katrien to ensure that the playing budget is significantly reduced again in January.
You will remember that we discussed that money from player sales does not add to this budget, it is the weekly expenses that we are most concerned with. Of course a return to the championship is ever more likely as you and Driesen work together on the new team organisation.
Now that you have met Tony Keohane, I'm sure you agree he can help to shape the off pitch activities and matchday experience with you. Katrien has nothing but good words for him and I think you will easily be able to see what an asset to the club he is.
I hope the matchday experiences continue to improve.
I look forward to seeing them all at some point and to catching up with you should either the results not go your way or should some of the fans once again disturb my home town.
I have one motto here and that is I am the boss. Other than that you are free to ask Chris if you want to change anything.
M. Duchatelet2 -
Karl,
Here in Belgium, we get all the players together each day in a field, or park, for a sort of rehearsal for the game, or 'training'. Everyone puts on football kit, runs around and kicks the ball, almost like a real match.
Thomas says that apparently 'bibs' can be helpful here. I told him that judging by your ill-fitting suits you must have no problem getting food into your mouth, but I'm sure he'll explain on Monday. He said to meet in 'Sharon's Lane' - there's a spare building site with loads of room.
Roland2
