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Life Hacks

13

Comments

  • shine166
    shine166 Posts: 13,914
    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    Wetwipes instead of toilet paper

    cant beat that feeling of, feeling like youve just shat yourself
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    shine166 said:

    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    Wetwipes instead of toilet paper

    cant beat that feeling of, feeling like youve just shat yourself
    Remove debris with conventional paper, then wipe the dry shit you've just smeared all over your crack with wet wipes. Then dry with conventional paper if necessary
  • Oh_Yoni_Boy
    Oh_Yoni_Boy Posts: 1,762
    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    shine166 said:

    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    Wetwipes instead of toilet paper

    cant beat that feeling of, feeling like youve just shat yourself
    Remove debris with conventional paper, then wipe the dry shit you've just smeared all over your crack with wet wipes. Then dry with conventional paper if necessary
    Borg knows
  • Oh_Yoni_Boy
    Oh_Yoni_Boy Posts: 1,762
    cabbles said:

    SoundAsa£ said:

    cabbles said:

    For a while now, I've had these boxers that have that gap at the bottom of the front. Time and time again, my old boy will slip out inadvertently which is really annoying because if I'm on my way to work, in my suit, it requires some sort of covert rearrangement as discreetly as possible

    Anyway, tonight I went swimming and because I was only heading straight home after, I didn't have a spare set to change into. So tonight I simply turned them inside out and it dawned on me. I just have to wear them inside out. Problem solved

    It was like an epiphany and I'm very pleased with myself

    As an alternative, you could also try them back to front!
    They don't sit right

    FYI - if anyone wants to avoid this range I think I picked them up from Sainsbury's saver centre in Sydenham, so they're probably a Sainsbury's range of some sort

    Absolutely swear by M&S boxer briefs, plus they haven't got some knobhead's name plastered round your waist.
  • LargeAddick
    LargeAddick Posts: 32,552
    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    shine166 said:

    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    Wetwipes instead of toilet paper

    cant beat that feeling of, feeling like youve just shat yourself
    Remove debris with conventional paper, then wipe the dry shit you've just smeared all over your crack with wet wipes. Then dry with conventional paper if necessary
    only on Charlton Life ...

  • cafcdave123
    cafcdave123 Posts: 11,491
    Super_Eddie_Youds said:

    cabbles said:

    SoundAsa£ said:

    cabbles said:

    For a while now, I've had these boxers that have that gap at the bottom of the front. Time and time again, my old boy will slip out inadvertently which is really annoying because if I'm on my way to work, in my suit, it requires some sort of covert rearrangement as discreetly as possible

    Anyway, tonight I went swimming and because I was only heading straight home after, I didn't have a spare set to change into. So tonight I simply turned them inside out and it dawned on me. I just have to wear them inside out. Problem solved

    It was like an epiphany and I'm very pleased with myself

    As an alternative, you could also try them back to front!
    They don't sit right

    FYI - if anyone wants to avoid this range I think I picked them up from Sainsbury's saver centre in Sydenham, so they're probably a Sainsbury's range of some sort

    I am now in no doubt who amongst us has bought a pair of the ice boxers.
    considering that he not only wears boxers until holes appear but long, long after, I seriously doubt @candles is the one buying the ice boxers.
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    LargeAddick said:

    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    shine166 said:

    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    Wetwipes instead of toilet paper

    cant beat that feeling of, feeling like youve just shat yourself
    Remove debris with conventional paper, then wipe the dry shit you've just smeared all over your crack with wet wipes. Then dry with conventional paper if necessary
    only on Charlton Life ...

    Shine started it
  • Gravesend_Addick
    Gravesend_Addick Posts: 7,299
    image
  • ShootersHillGuru
    ShootersHillGuru Posts: 50,612
    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    shine166 said:

    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    Wetwipes instead of toilet paper

    cant beat that feeling of, feeling like youve just shat yourself
    Remove debris with conventional paper, then wipe the dry shit you've just smeared all over your crack with wet wipes. Then dry with conventional paper if necessary
  • blackpool72
    blackpool72 Posts: 23,664
    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    LargeAddick said:

    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    shine166 said:

    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    Wetwipes instead of toilet paper

    cant beat that feeling of, feeling like youve just shat yourself
    Remove debris with conventional paper, then wipe the dry shit you've just smeared all over your crack with wet wipes. Then dry with conventional paper if necessary
    only on Charlton Life ...

    Shine started it
    Where is he I miss him
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  • MrOneLung
    MrOneLung Posts: 26,827
    and where is @Miserableoldgit ?
  • A-R-T-H-U-R
    A-R-T-H-U-R Posts: 7,678
    Three useful hacks

    In the cinema, sprinkle popcorn on the seat in front in the hope no one sits there.

    Next time you get a flat tyre, take a photo and save it for the next time you want to get out of a meeting.

    Next time you are in a hotel room on holiday with no fridge for your beer, call down and say you desperately need one for your insulin.
  • Curb_It
    Curb_It Posts: 21,218
    My Aunty Peggy taught me that if you licked the back of a tea spoon before chopping an onion, it stops your eyes from watering.

    Is that what a hack is?

  • leefender
    leefender Posts: 395
    Best top tip ever
  • SantaClaus
    SantaClaus Posts: 7,650
    When the time comes to replace your favourite bong you can save a mint by pouring iso alcohol and rice into it, covering the holes and giving it a good shake. All the tar will disappear and it'll smoke as well as the day you bought it.

    If anyone has any similarly miraculous life hacks for returning my other half to her mid 2000's pomp I'd be grateful to hear them.
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    Dont waste time / money this Noel by leaving carrots, brandy, cigars biscuits out for Father Christmas, coz he dont fuckin exist
  • cafcfan
    cafcfan Posts: 11,198
    Curb_It said:

    My Aunty Peggy taught me that if you licked the back of a tea spoon before chopping an onion, it stops your eyes from watering.

    Is that what a hack is?

    I thought that was smearing your knife with lemon juice?
  • JiMMy 85
    JiMMy 85 Posts: 10,189
    cafcfan said:

    Curb_It said:

    My Aunty Peggy taught me that if you licked the back of a tea spoon before chopping an onion, it stops your eyes from watering.

    Is that what a hack is?

    I thought that was smearing your knife with lemon juice?
    Leave my wife out of this!

    Edit - sorry, mis-read that.
  • Alwaysneil
    Alwaysneil Posts: 13,804
    JiMMy 85 said:

    cafcfan said:

    Curb_It said:

    My Aunty Peggy taught me that if you licked the back of a tea spoon before chopping an onion, it stops your eyes from watering.

    Is that what a hack is?

    I thought that was smearing your knife with lemon juice?
    Leave my wife out of this!

    Edit - sorry, mis-read that.
    Misread lemon for lime?
  • A-R-T-H-U-R
    A-R-T-H-U-R Posts: 7,678
    edited October 2017
    Alwaysneil said:

    JiMMy 85 said:

    cafcfan said:

    Curb_It said:

    My Aunty Peggy taught me that if you licked the back of a tea spoon before chopping an onion, it stops your eyes from watering.

    Is that what a hack is?

    I thought that was smearing your knife with lemon juice?
    Leave my wife out of this!

    Edit - sorry, mis-read that.
    Misread lemon for lime?
    No, I think he mis-read knife for wife and lemon for penis.
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  • shine166
    shine166 Posts: 13,914
    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    shine166 said:

    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    Wetwipes instead of toilet paper

    cant beat that feeling of, feeling like youve just shat yourself
    Remove debris with conventional paper, then wipe the dry shit you've just smeared all over your crack with wet wipes. Then dry with conventional paper if necessary
    You putting shitty wetwipes in the bin ? They ruin drains by flushing
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    shine166 said:

    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    shine166 said:

    i_b_b_o_r_g said:

    Wetwipes instead of toilet paper

    cant beat that feeling of, feeling like youve just shat yourself
    Remove debris with conventional paper, then wipe the dry shit you've just smeared all over your crack with wet wipes. Then dry with conventional paper if necessary
    You putting shitty wetwipes in the bin ? They ruin drains by flushing
    We live ovet a km from our nearest neighbours and about 8 km from our village, so we ain't on mains sewage, we got a septic tank but, caked in shit wetwipes or jam rags go in nappy bags and in a bin.

    Sure that rhymes
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    Or if I've had a clean break and just need a bingo dab, the wetwipe goes in the bin without being double bagged
  • Alwaysneil
    Alwaysneil Posts: 13,804
    That’s good to know.
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    Alwaysneil said:

    That’s good to know.

    Shine started it
  • A-R-T-H-U-R
    A-R-T-H-U-R Posts: 7,678
    Save money on batteries by only putting them in the clock when you want to know the time.
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    A-R-T-H-U-R said:

    Save money on batteries by only putting them in the clock when you want to know the time.

    Get a wind up one
  • moutuakilla
    moutuakilla Posts: 7,565
    Wrap a wet piece of kitchen roll around a warm beer and put it in the freezer. Cools it down very quickly when in need of a cold one. Suitable for all beverages!
  • aliwibble
    aliwibble Posts: 26,269
    North Lower Neil said:

    He also thought it was normal for men to 'milk' their own nipples, to sit (and fall asleep) between two adjacent pool tables in a bar, and to drink Baileys and lime as a regular drink though so I wouldn't trust his judgement.

    If you can milk your own nipples (unless you're a pregnant or breastfeeding woman) you should be seeing a doctor.
  • KiwiValley
    KiwiValley Posts: 3,378
    pick your nose with a bayonet for extra reach

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