Xmas Threads 2018 - Best, Worst and WTF presents

We have dogs and I hate them (piss and shit everywhere ) and I’m always complaining about having to dodge poo in the garden .
So wife bought me some “don’t step in it “ dog poo game ffs

A book on how to be a good husband.....I’ve started well by opening a can of San Miguel.

Dont currently have a worst Xmas Present

Best has to be a book called Pro Patria Mori which concentrates on the Gommecourt Diversion at the battle of the somme as is where my Great-Great Uncle on the first day

A cycle tyre pump and a aquarium thermometer.
Best as every year.......
Five Christmas cards from German Shepherd dogs we sponsor given up for destruction up to six years ago.

I'm slightly confused as to why my MIL got me a Nico Rosberg signature t-shirt. it's quite nice though so all is good

Anyone with a touch of ibs will like this

Also got some vouchers.

ForeverAddickted said:

Dont currently have a worst Xmas Present

Best has to be a book called Pro Patria Mori which concentrates on the Gommecourt Diversion at the battle of the somme as is where my Great-Great Uncle on the first day

@ForeverAddickted Straight away I thought of Wilfred Owens poem
DULCE ET DECORUM EST

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.
Gas! Gas! Quick, boys! – An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling,
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime . . .
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.
In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.
If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie; Dulce et Decorum est
Pro patria mori.

Wilfred Owen

So far....I've got nothing.

So the best , the worst, the weirdest/,random.

Is part of a collective "f*ck all"

Some gourmet hot sauces. Packed the fridge with big roll.

The cheese an kisses bought me a collection of old Charlton programmes. She moans that I spend enough time on the kharzi, I’ll be on the throne for hours now!

AddicksAddict said:

oohaahmortimer said:

We have dogs and I hate them (piss and shit everywhere ) and I’m always complaining about having to dodge poo in the garden .
So wife bought me some “don’t step in it “ dog poo game ffs

Surely if you hate dogs you wouldn't have them.

More a case of he likes pussy, therefore he has dogs.

Best

Scoham said:

Now that is a wtf!

I got a book, "The Greater Game" by some bloke called Clive Harris.