Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.

Things children say

2

Comments

  • Addicted
    Addicted Posts: 2,804
    Think there was another thread on this a while back but my niece and nephew have come out with a couple of good ones.

    Favourite was when their mum was teaching the niece (5ish) about sharing and charity and was saying

    Mum: "You've got lots of toys but some children don't have any. Why don't you pick out one of yours and we can give it to someone less fortunate?"

    Niece: "But they are my toys?"

    Mum: "But they don't have any toys. What will they play with?"

    Nephew (3ish) pipes up: "They can play hide and seek"
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,593
    edited September 2018
    My wife told me yesterday that she was telling some year 5/6 kids off for mucking about in the corridor.

    She'd had a bit of a day of it and when a couple of them just ignored her, she told them firmly to go in to her office and sit down.

    One strolled in, sat down and said "nice comfy seats in here".

    She said she was on the edge of either laughing or exploding.

    I'd last 5 minutes in her job.
  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    When my sister-in-law was picking up her grandchild from school, the kid bellowed across the playground at the top of her voice, "Nanny, Nanny I've got NITS!"

  • Rizzo
    Rizzo Posts: 6,431
    My 3 year old daughter likes to keep us informed about the weather. In very light rain we usually get "It's dribbling outside"
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,593
    edited November 2018
    It was International Mens Day on Friday and my daughter's school invited male relatives/guardians in to participate in a lesson based on heroes and role models.

    Part of it involved the kids interviewing us about our role models when we were young and who we look up to now and why.

    when I was asked about my role model now, I said my wife as she looks after us, works hard and has a good career etc. My daughter piped up with "and she puts up with all your pops"
  • Elthamaddick
    Elthamaddick Posts: 15,809
    my youngest daughter is 3 and definitely rules the roost in our house, some of the stuff she comes out with is hilarious - she now has a baby brother to bully/mother, he's only 21 months and is just now beginning to tell her he doesn't want to do this and that.....it's hilarious to watch them sometimes, however the love between them with such a close age gap is amazing to see.
  • southamptonaddick
    southamptonaddick Posts: 4,054
    I think the best one I remember was my youngest son who was about nine and he'd just had sex education at school. We were sitting eating dinner and he asked my older son if he'd ever had a hard on. My wife and me just got up from the table and went to the kitchen so we could burst out laughing.
  • EastStand
    EastStand Posts: 4,109
    Exiled_Addick said:

    My three year likes to encourage her old man. “You ate all your dinner... good job Daddy!”. Or if I’ve been doing some DIY “Did you tidy your tools away Daddy? Good job!”. The best one recently, was when I took to her to the toilet at the shopping mall and she loudly proclaimed, so everyone else in there could hear, “You didn’t get any on the seat... good job Daddy!”.

    Currently no one is allowed to say stupid... “Don’t say stupid... it’s not a nice word... say silly instead”. She can be 3 rooms away and you can whisper it but she’ll still come tell you off.

    The other day she was trying to tell me something but I couldn’t understand what she was trying to say. After about the 8th try she sighs, puts her hands on her hips and says “Daddy, please listen to my words... how many times do I have to say it?”

    She’s asked for a baby brother for Christmas. I think she wants another idiot male in the house to boss around. She’s already got me and the dog firmly in line.

    Threenager they call it. God knows what she’ll be like when she gets to puberty.

    I'd start saving up for a man cave now if I were you mate.
  • Sponsored links:



  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,593
    My mum's not quite grasped the concept of what might and might not be appropriate TV for our 10 year old and she was watching EastEnders last night while my wife and I were upstairs. Our daughter came up after a while and asked what best sex ever meant.

    My wife resisted the urge to say "I haven't got a f*****g clue".
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,609
  • T_C_E
    T_C_E Posts: 16,418
    Teaching our 2 year old granddaughter to identify items in the lounge. So we proceed with photos of the dogs and family members, through to fish tanks and varying ornaments finishing a large clock on the wall. So when mummy comes home to collect her she happily shows her what she has learnt today. Running around the lounge naming all the items to finally reaches the last one only to drop the L and shout COCK at the top of her voice. Oops, Grandads in trouble again. ;)
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    My 4 yr old just told me at 5 he will be a teenager and he is going to get married and get a job
  • T_C_E
    T_C_E Posts: 16,418
    nth london addick said:

    My 4 yr old just told me at 5 he will be a teenager and he is going to get married and get a job

    Nothing wrong with a strict up bringing D. ;)
  • paulie8290
    paulie8290 Posts: 23,344
    I was talking to my son and mentioned he was 4 in 2 weeks.

    I then said sisters birthday is in 3 weeks do u know how old she will be, his response was 6(she will be 2)

    I then said how old is mummy and he said 4
    I then said how old am I he said 6.

    I love that kid so much, he does make me laugh
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    T_C_E said:

    nth london addick said:

    My 4 yr old just told me at 5 he will be a teenager and he is going to get married and get a job

    Nothing wrong with a strict up bringing D. ;)
    Off his noggin my littlest mate
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 22,946
    Our 3 year old thinks Nanny and Grandpa live in "Rollerskate".

    It's Ramsgate.
  • PopIcon
    PopIcon Posts: 5,970
    As a child I used to think Jesus was born in Bexleyheath.
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 22,946
    PopIcon said:

    As a child I used to think Jesus was born in Bexleyheath.

    We did a song in a school play once "O Little Town of Bexleyheath".

    The only line I vaguely remember is 'above thy deeply piss-stained streets'.
  • Sponsored links:



  • buckshee
    buckshee Posts: 7,867
    “F**k off you c**t!” from one of the lovely kids (five year old) to my wife at the school she works at.
  • Athletico Charlton
    Athletico Charlton Posts: 14,273
    My 6 year old regularly asks me why I am so weird.
  • aliwibble
    aliwibble Posts: 26,273
    Ah, that one's easy - "It runs in the family. One day you'll be just as weird as I am, so you may as well get used to it now."
  • LenGlover
    LenGlover Posts: 31,651
    I think my grandson actually belongs to @Riscardo .

    He (my grandson) told me I was 27 earlier today.
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,593
    Dropped our daughter at Brownie camp this evening and she made us promise we wouldn’t make a baby or drink so much we die while she’s there.
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,609
    DaveMehmet said:
    Dropped our daughter at Brownie camp this evening and she made us promise we wouldn’t make a baby or drink so much we die while she’s there.
    Understandable.
  • cafcdave123
    cafcdave123 Posts: 11,491
    DaveMehmet said:
    Dropped our daughter at Brownie camp this evening and she made us promise we wouldn’t make a baby or drink so much we die while she’s there.
    Did you tell her that you can’t get pregnant when you do it “that way “
  • North Lower Neil
    North Lower Neil Posts: 22,946
    DaveMehmet said:
    Dropped our daughter at Brownie camp this evening and she made us promise we wouldn’t make a baby or drink so much we die while she’s there.
    *Solemn face*

    "I can't make any promises."
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,593
    North Lower Neil said:
    DaveMehmet said:
    Dropped our daughter at Brownie camp this evening and she made us promise we wouldn’t make a baby or drink so much we die while she’s there.
    *Solemn face*

    "I can't make any promises."
    I did feel like saying there’ll be no chance of you having a brother or sister but can’t guarantee the other.

    She saw a news report of a student that drank himself to death last year and worries whenever we have a drink.
  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    My youngest just said he wants to fight Tyson 🙈

Categories

“Marketplace”