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Silly Things People Say!
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An absolute belter today:
Me: What did Macron say then?
Wife (disappointed): He didn't talk about the subject I wanted to know about.
Me: Oh, well, what did he talk about?
Wife: Just politics.
I then added, laughing: 'Well, he's hardly going to talk about a trip to the beach,' and she got the hump and went out on her bike leaving her lunch uneaten.0 -
This is a sexist thread13
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Just got in car, about to pull out of the supermarket car park -
Mrs - "We need to go to the first aid point"
Me - "Why what's up?"
Mrs - "We've got a load of clothes to drop off"
Me- " Do you mean the Red Croos clothes bank?"
Mrs - "Yes"
Me - *shakes head for 2 hours*4 -
Just remembered this one, was a while ago now but this is the general theme of the conversation - to set the scene my GF must have some kind of intolerance to heavy bready type foods and being Irish she obviously just chowed down on a massive lunch of fried potato and soda bread despite this, as a result she's half comatose on the sofa with a bloated stomach, then she says, pointing at it:
Her: "Look at this, I'm like one of the kids in Africa on the charity adverts!"
Me: Well they're in a slightly different situation don't ya think...
Her: True, theirs is from rice rather than bread.
Me: What?
Her: From all the rice
Me: What??
Her: They're bloating from eating all the rice - like with Pigeons
Me:
Her: What?
Me: That is not what is happening! Their stomach bloats because they're literally starving... not because they've gorged on rice?!?!
She's not normally that thick but this was a real standout moment for her12 -
Me: Shall we have the other half of that cherry pie tonight
Her: Yes I'll get it out of the fridge so it's not so cold
Me: But you're warming it up anyway!
Her: Oh yeh! (and puts it back in the fridge)
Wtf!11 -
Me: Walks in the house soaking wet
Wife: Oh is it raining out there
Wife: (Looks out the window), oh its really raining isnt it
Yes luv, I havent just been hosed down for the fun of it4 -
Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"
Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"
Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"
Me - "FFS"2 -
This thread always makes me feel better and that I’m not alone.2
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Well, isn't a banana loaf a sort of cake.....like a loaf cake ?i_b_b_o_r_g said:Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"
Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"
Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"
Me - "FFS"
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Don't knock it, banana bread is great.8
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Me: Hey can you mix up the baby milk?
5 minutes later
Me: Hey can I have the baby milk?
2-3 mins later
Me: Hello? Baby Milk please?
Her: I'm busy give me a second.
Me: Okay I'll grab it in a minute.
5 mins later
Me: Can you watch the baby while I get the milk from downstairs?
Her: I haven't made it yet I was on whatsapp
Me:
We know I'd be killed for doing the same!7 -
It is possible to make other cakes with old bananas. I made banana and chocolate chip muffins a while ago and they were delicious.i_b_b_o_r_g said:Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"
Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"
Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"
Me - "FFS"2 -
Yeah, not questioning that necessarily. Just that when someone says the word "cake" to me, it conjures up things like chocolate sponge, coffee cake, lemon drizzle cake etc., not something made out of old bananasgolfaddick said:
Well, isn't a banana loaf a sort of cake.....like a loaf cake ?i_b_b_o_r_g said:Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"
Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"
Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"
Me - "FFS"6 -
Let’s face it. Egg on face time.i_b_b_o_r_g said:
Yeah, not questioning that necessarily. Just that when someone says the word "cake" to me, it conjures up things like chocolate sponge, coffee cake, lemon drizzle cake etc., not something made out of old bananasgolfaddick said:
Well, isn't a banana loaf a sort of cake.....like a loaf cake ?i_b_b_o_r_g said:Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"
Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"
Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"
Me - "FFS"3 -
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2 sugars please treacle.kimbo said:This is a sexist thread9 -
Came home yesterday and the missus had been doing home schooling with the kids about continents.
Me to the missus: Right, what are they then?
Her: well Europe, South Africa
Me: close but no.
Her: East Anglia
Me: Pardon
Her :East Anglia
Me: (trying my hardest not to be rude) no East Anglia is not a continent.
Her: Yes it is.
Me: its definitely not,
Her: Yes it is, they said so on her presentation.
Me: (absolutely pissing myself now) prove it.
5 mins later after turning the laptop on and logging into Google classrooms.
Her: ohh North America I meant.
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@i_b_b_o_r_g Why the FFS? Banana bread/loaf is a cake.i_b_b_o_r_g said:Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"
Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"
Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"
Me - "FFS"1 -
Jade Goody back from the dead.0
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East Angular.bolloxbolder said:Jade Goody back from the dead.2 -
Just looked up the difference between banana cake and banana bread. Transpires that this correspondent prefers banana cake ... because it is cakier.
https://cookandeatbetter.wordpress.com/2010/02/21/recipe-box-banana-cake-vs-banana-bread/
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Stop talking about banana bread and give me some more things women say.
I love this thread 🤣🤣0 -
'How about me giving you a blowie then you can slide it in my back passage'.
Ooops sorry thought this was the things women don't say thread.3 -
If we are going down that route then the wife doesn’t say the majority of what I’m in trouble for not doing.2
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We were watching The Sounds on Amazon Prime and there was an attractive red head.
I googled her and said "She's Canadian"
"Yeah., she looks Canadian" Seriously wtf?0 -
Perhaps your wife thought she was a moose.bolloxbolder said:We were watching The Sounds on Amazon Prime and there was an attractive red head.
I googled her and said "She's Canadian"
"Yeah., she looks Canadian" Seriously wtf?14 -
How is that a wtf...bolloxbolder said:We were watching The Sounds on Amazon Prime and there was an attractive red head.
I googled her and said "She's Canadian"
"Yeah., she looks Canadian" Seriously wtf?0 -
Wife gets to work, cant find her old crappy phone she uses as a PAYG and backup
Messages me in a panic asking if she's left it at home, nope cant find it here... Finally found on the floor of her car under the childseat
Her: I know, I'm an idiot
Me: Yup, not even going to argue with you over that
Her: Oi
Proof that even when we DONT argue with them, we still cant win!!0 -
One thing women don't understand about men seems to me to be our ability to focus on one thing and edit everything out. So for instance, I can watch a football game and my wife can talk to me and I hear and acknowledge but when a dangerous move develops, I shut other things out subconsciously.
Then I get the, are you ignoring me moan. I have tried to explain this so many times but she still doesn't get it.4
