Attention: Please take a moment to consider our terms and conditions before posting.

Silly Things People Say!

1567810

Comments

  • jimmymelrose
    jimmymelrose Posts: 9,753
    An absolute belter today:

    Me: What did Macron say then?
    Wife (disappointed): He didn't talk about the subject I wanted to know about.
    Me: Oh, well, what did he talk about?
    Wife: Just politics.

    I then added, laughing: 'Well, he's hardly going to talk about a trip to the beach,' and she got the hump and went out on her bike leaving her lunch uneaten. 
  • kimbo
    kimbo Posts: 2,996
    This is a sexist thread 
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    edited October 2020
    Just got in car, about to pull out of the supermarket car park -

    Mrs - "We need to go to the first aid point"
    Me - "Why what's up?"
    Mrs - "We've got a load of clothes to drop off"
    Me- " Do you mean the Red Croos clothes bank?"
    Mrs - "Yes"
    Me - *shakes head for 2 hours*
  • LonelyNorthernAddick
    LonelyNorthernAddick Posts: 2,423
    edited October 2020
    Just remembered this one, was a while ago now but this is the general theme of the conversation - to set the scene my GF must have some kind of intolerance to heavy bready type foods and being Irish she obviously just chowed down on a massive lunch of fried potato and soda bread despite this, as a result she's half comatose on the sofa with a bloated stomach, then she says, pointing at it:

    Her: "Look at this, I'm like one of the kids in Africa on the charity adverts!"
    Me: Well they're in a slightly different situation don't ya think...
    Her: True, theirs is from rice rather than bread.
    Me: What?
    Her: From all the rice
    Me: What??
    Her: They're bloating from eating all the rice - like with Pigeons
    Me: :o
    Her: What?
    Me: That is not what is happening! Their stomach bloats because they're literally starving... not because they've gorged on rice?!?!  :D

    She's not normally that thick but this was a real standout moment for her
  • Essex_Al
    Essex_Al Posts: 3,583
    Me: Shall we have the other half of that cherry pie tonight
    Her: Yes I'll get it out of the fridge so it's not so cold
    Me:  But you're warming it up anyway!
    Her: Oh yeh! (and puts it back in the fridge)

    Wtf!
  • Me: Walks in the house soaking wet
    Wife: Oh is it raining out there
    Wife: (Looks out the window), oh its really raining isnt it

    Yes luv, I havent just been hosed down for the fun of it
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"

    Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"

    Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"

    Me - "FFS"
  • This thread always makes me feel better and that I’m not alone.
  • golfaddick
    golfaddick Posts: 33,639
    Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"

    Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"

    Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"

    Me - "FFS"
    Well, isn't a banana loaf a sort of cake.....like a loaf cake ?

  • Stig
    Stig Posts: 29,031
    Don't knock it, banana bread is great.
  • Sponsored links:



  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 51,360
    edited January 2021
    Me: Hey can you mix up the baby milk?
    5 minutes later
    Me: Hey can I have the baby milk?
    2-3 mins later
    Me: Hello? Baby Milk please?
    Her: I'm busy give me a second.
    Me: Okay I'll grab it in a minute.
    5 mins later 
    Me: Can you watch the baby while I get the milk from downstairs?
    Her: I haven't made it yet I was on whatsapp
    Me: :neutral:

    We know I'd be killed for doing the same!
  • Dazzler21
    Dazzler21 Posts: 51,360
    kimbo said:
    This is a sexist thread 
    Make a things that Men say thread... Then we can learn the stupid shit we say without noticing!
  • Wilma
    Wilma Posts: 1,618
    Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"

    Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"

    Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"

    Me - "FFS"
    It is possible to make other cakes with old bananas. I made banana and chocolate chip muffins a while ago and they were delicious. 
  • i_b_b_o_r_g
    i_b_b_o_r_g Posts: 18,948
    Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"

    Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"

    Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"

    Me - "FFS"
    Well, isn't a banana loaf a sort of cake.....like a loaf cake ?

    Yeah, not questioning that necessarily. Just that when someone says the word "cake" to me, it conjures up things like chocolate sponge, coffee cake, lemon drizzle cake etc., not something made out of old bananas 
  • Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"

    Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"

    Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"

    Me - "FFS"
    Well, isn't a banana loaf a sort of cake.....like a loaf cake ?

    Yeah, not questioning that necessarily. Just that when someone says the word "cake" to me, it conjures up things like chocolate sponge, coffee cake, lemon drizzle cake etc., not something made out of old bananas 
    Let’s face it. Egg on face time.
  • Dazzler21 said:
    kimbo said:
    This is a sexist thread 
    Make a things that Men say thread... Then we can learn the stupid shit we say without noticing!
    Wouldnt be a very long thread... Man opens mouth!! - Gets in trouble ;)
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,601
    kimbo said:
    This is a sexist thread 
    2 sugars please treacle.
  • AddicksAddict
    AddicksAddict Posts: 15,796
    Mrs - "Shall make a cake for the following couple of days"

    Me - "Yes, that sould be nice"

    Mrs - "Okay, I'll use up these old bananas and make a banana loaf"

    Me - "FFS"
    @i_b_b_o_r_g Why the FFS?  Banana bread/loaf is a cake.
  • bolloxbolder
    bolloxbolder Posts: 7,964
    Jade Goody back from the dead. 
  • Sponsored links:



  • Covered End
    Covered End Posts: 52,013
    Jade Goody back from the dead. 
    East Angular.
  • Just looked up the difference between banana cake and banana bread.  Transpires that this correspondent prefers banana cake ... because it is cakier.   :|

    https://cookandeatbetter.wordpress.com/2010/02/21/recipe-box-banana-cake-vs-banana-bread/
  • paulie8290
    paulie8290 Posts: 23,344
    Stop talking about banana bread and give me some more things women say.

    I love this thread 🤣🤣
  • iaitch
    iaitch Posts: 10,230
    'How about me giving you a blowie then you can slide it in my back passage'.

    Ooops sorry thought this was the things women don't say thread.
  • If we are going down that route then the wife doesn’t say the majority of what I’m in trouble for not doing. 
  • bolloxbolder
    bolloxbolder Posts: 7,964
    We were watching The Sounds on Amazon Prime and there was an attractive red head. 

    I googled her and said "She's Canadian"

    "Yeah., she looks Canadian" Seriously wtf? 
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,648
    edited January 2021
    We were watching The Sounds on Amazon Prime and there was an attractive red head. 

    I googled her and said "She's Canadian"

    "Yeah., she looks Canadian" Seriously wtf? 
    Perhaps your wife thought  she was a moose.
  • johnnybev1987
    johnnybev1987 Posts: 11,412
    We were watching The Sounds on Amazon Prime and there was an attractive red head. 

    I googled her and said "She's Canadian"

    "Yeah., she looks Canadian" Seriously wtf? 
    How is that a wtf... 
  • Wife gets to work, cant find her old crappy phone she uses as a PAYG and backup

    Messages me in a panic asking if she's left it at home, nope cant find it here... Finally found on the floor of her car under the childseat

    Her: I know, I'm an idiot
    Me: Yup, not even going to argue with you over that
    Her: Oi

    Proof that even when we DONT argue with them, we still cant win!!
  • MuttleyCAFC
    MuttleyCAFC Posts: 47,733
    edited January 2021
    One thing women don't understand about men seems to me to be our ability to focus on one thing and edit everything out. So for instance, I can watch a football game and my wife can talk to me and I hear and acknowledge but when a dangerous move develops, I shut other things out subconsciously.

    Then I get the, are you ignoring me moan. I have tried to explain this so many times but she still doesn't get it.