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The Charlton Story

thai malaysia addick
thai malaysia addick Posts: 18,332
edited June 2011 in Fun, Jokes & Captions
Well, there's not much else to do in the summer.......how many can you spot?

Hazel Wood and her son went to Holland. It was bright and
she went for a Costa coffee but it was duff. “They are crooks”, she thought, “5
Euros is a fortune”. It did madden her. Hazel was small, but smart though
wilder than when she was young. She bought some pates and some Pringles and sat
in a horse field. She loved the ferns and every berry on every tree. She hummed
a song, but could only think of the spectre of a long spring and more summers
with her Welsh husband, Sam. They lived in a white house. Sam was a tiler and a thatcher
and used to work in the mills. He enjoyed being a miller and was in charge of
the barns – he liked working on his tod. She was sure her dire relationship
went wrong after Sam had too much rose and white wine plus a litre of borrowed
ale. There had been hints before yet some hope, but she began to lose heart
despite showing true grit and being bolder. There was a bond but she would
remain sure she was right. “Kits off”, he slurred 
drunkenly. “Kits on”, she replied, but he quickly done a shirt lift and
a mooney. She shields her eyes. “Willy’s out”, he laughed. “You’d ‘s better
stop this. You must, oh, you must”, she said. “This burns me inside. You are a bright
man, but you should go to chapel with a candle and hear the vicar read a
sermon. You’ll need to grant me some space. And, your breath stinks – have a
minto. Tut tut”.  He burped loudly. “Pard’
you”, she snapped “Sod ye”. She went to the kitchen and had some salmon. She was a good
cook – she used to be a fryer at the fish shop – she used to order all the
stocks. Sam then came in looking green and was now bent double. He was not at
his peak now. “I feel like a plum”, he said. He gave Hazel a garland and looked
into her brown eyes. She turned on TV. “What’s on?” he asked. “Gavin &
Stacey”, she replied. Sam thankfully fell asleep.

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Comments

  • eldavide
    eldavide Posts: 384
    56?
  • 56 - is that all? You must be a youngster
  • sammy391
    sammy391 Posts: 3,782
    i got 35
  • Halix
    Halix Posts: 2,237

    Things a bit slack in Malaysia....?

    68

  • Covered End
    Covered End Posts: 51,982

    62 if you don't count the same more than once, ie Hazel & Sam mentioned more than once. 68 if you do.

    However, I reckon there is probably more. Good effort.

     

  • bloodnut
    bloodnut Posts: 2,146
    ive seen it all now!
  • guinnessaddick
    guinnessaddick Posts: 28,596
    55
  • LenGlover
    LenGlover Posts: 31,651

    70 (only counting once I think!)

    Excellent stuff!

  • LenGlover
    LenGlover Posts: 31,651
    73 second time!
  • Clem_Snide
    Clem_Snide Posts: 11,736
    64. Counting once.
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  • 73 second time!
    Plenty more, Len
  • 81

  • 81

    Great effort - 82, I make it. Answers on Tuesday.
  • Oggy Red
    Oggy Red Posts: 44,954
    Are you counting only surnames .... or Christian names also?
  • only surnames, sir
  • that was an absolute pearler mate cant wait to find the one i missed
  • Oggy Red
    Oggy Red Posts: 44,954
    edited June 2011
    I think I've found 87 (!)......... no Christian names, either.

    I bet there's some that others have got, that I've missed.
  • Covered End
    Covered End Posts: 51,982
    I think I've found 87 (!)......... no Christian names, either.

    I bet there's some that others have got, that I've missed.

    That's great considering he said there's 82 :-)
  • Oggy Red
    Oggy Red Posts: 44,954
    That puzzled me too, Covered End ......!!!
    I could send Thai Malaysia Addick my list, if he wants to check it.

    But I bet there's actually more names out there than 87.


  • Which Gavin and Stacey was it?
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  • That puzzled me too, Covered End ......!!!
    I could send Thai Malaysia Addick my list, if he wants to check it.

    But I bet there's actually more names out there than 87.


    Amazing if you have 87 unless I can't count. I am scoring one for names with 2+ players, by the way.
  • Off_it
    Off_it Posts: 28,838
    Does "Bent double" count as two?

    (good stuff by the way)
  • Does "Bent double" count as two?

    (good stuff by the way)
    Good question. I counted it as one.
  • better red than dead
    edited June 2011


     

    82 – but some tenuous.  
    I suspect my list differs slightly from the official list but the
    referee’s decision is final, ok! Great fun on a wet and windy morning

  • Oggy Red
    Oggy Red Posts: 44,954
    Does "Bent double" count as two?

    (good stuff by the way)
    Good question. I counted it as one.
    I took the clue as cryptic and named both.
  • Does Madden count as two too?
  • Does Madden count as two too?
    I only counted Madden as one
  • Is "every tree" a cryptic clue or am I being too
    clever/stupid (delete as appropriate) for thinking it may refer to a couple of
    players.  It's still wet outside so desperate to avoid afternoon TV.

  • No, there's no cryptic clues in this one. Stop trying too hard.
  • Not even "turned on TV"?.  I thought you were brilliant!!